[smfang] She may want to give this a try

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smfang
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[smfang] She may want to give this a try

Post by smfang »

Brief background: We are mid 60's and have been married 15 years. In the last few years, her interest in sex has greatly declined due to health issues. I have always had a submissive streak and frequently fantasize about her being a tease and controlling my cock. Over the last couple of years, I have played with self-locking, putting the key in a kitchen safe. Lynn was aware of this and tolerated it, but didn't want to be involved. This takes a lot of the fun out of self-locking.

This brings me to the events of the last couple of days. I had been a jerk a couple days ago and had decided to self-lock for a few days as a personal punishment. Last evening, without really thinking about it, I was more affectionate than usual. She commented on my level of affection and jokingly said I was just doing it hoping to get laid. I replied that I knew that that wouldn't happen since I was locked up and the subject was dropped. When we went to bed, Lynn rolled over and started to make out with me, something that hasn't happened in a long time. We also started talking while I was gently caressing her. It was a very good conversation about the challenges that we are facing in our relationship. As part of this, we talked about how nice it was to cuddle and talk knowing that I am not able to escalate things. Eventually, we spooned and fell asleep. This was already a nice change for us.

The big surprise was this morning. She asked me to make her face mask solution and then backpedalled thinking that she was asking too much. I told her I would gladly do it and replied to her surprise by saying, "I am very agreeable when I am locked up." She thought for a second, "Well, maybe you should be locked up all the time." Without thinking I replied "OK, let's keep me locked up for a week and see how it goes." As I was getting up to make her mask, she said "OK, we should." Needless to say, I was stunned, excited and a little scared.

To clarify, I will not be locked up all the time. The previous night we had touched on the mechanics of my self-locking. Since I retired a while ago, I have been working hard to get in shape and every morning walk the dog and do some vigorous exercise. To avoid chafing and such issues, I will be unlocking in the morning for this exercise time. After I shower, I will be locking myself up, putting the key in the lock box and setting the timer so that I can get the key the next morning. Lynn isn't going to be involved in this new daily ritual which I am sure will make her more receptive to keeping me in long-term chastity. How is this different from my previous self-locking? Well, it will be regular - not an occasional thing and, more important, Lynn knowing I am locked and approving of it fits with my fantasies.

There is much that is still unclear about how this will play out. I am hoping it will not be a one-time thing, but the beginning of her wanting me in long-term chastity. We need to figure out together how (or if) I will get occasional releases if she feels I deserve it and I am sure other practical details. After fantasizing about being denied for so long, I don't know if the reality will be something that I will want in real-life. Time will tell. For now, I am excited that there may a good changes in the future.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: [smfang] She may want to give this a try

Post by KittensBoyToy »

As has been said many times o the forum, "Be careful what you wish for"! The more 'agreeable' she finds you the more receptive to the idea of chastity she may become. Don't push her, just let things flow naturally. The day may come when she decides the keys are more secure in her possession than in the kitchen safe.

Many on here exercise regularly and remain locked. The key is a good fitting cage to prevent chaffing. Try a little at a time to see how you tolerate the cage during exercise.

Welcome to our kinky little corner of the world!
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Kitten's Boy Toy
I'm Kitten's property and She keeps Her property secure in a Jail Bird!
WifeIsVanilla
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Re: [smfang] She may want to give this a try

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

I agree with all of the very good advice by KBT.

I have several devices including a Jail Bird and a Watchful Mistress, both of which are custom devices by Mature Metal. I do yard work, do weight training, play golf, etc while wearing either my JB or WM, all with no issues.
Last edited by WifeIsVanilla on Wed Aug 11, 2021 5:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Have worn: Curve & CB 6000s. Both broke, were repaired, broke, were repaired and then broke beyond repair.
Now mostly wearing my MM Jail Bird, occasionally alternating with my MM Watchful Mistress, Holy Trainer v3 & a second Curve.
smfang
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Re: [smfang] She may want to give this a try

Post by smfang »

I appreciate the comments. For me right now, the proper fit is a moving target due to the weight loss (50 pounds so far and striving for another 40). When I get to my fitness goal and my body seems to be stabilized, I will try for a better fit that will work with exercise. I've noted that there are multiple threads about optimizing fit.

Otherwise, my only issue is that I need to temper my initial excitement that Lynn may be open to this. Most of life hasn't changed - duh!
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Chastityat60
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Re: [smfang] She may want to give this a try

Post by Chastityat60 »

I too have lost 50 !! Good job!! I’m looking to lose 25 more.somehow weight loss has not altered that part of my anatomy to any noticeable degree.
Totally agree as a self locker too. I want so badly for her to play along but she just sees it as another form of bondage , which I am very interested in ..and she is not. So,, Instead of restraints for my hands or legs,,, it’s for my penis. She doesn’t do bondage/ restraint at all. She Tolerates chastity bondage only so long as I do it on my own ... just as she tolerates my occasional self bondage sessions. She leaves me to have the bedroom for a couple hours. She will not come in when I am bound. Period. In the past she would assist in small ways by tightening a strap, or locking a lock but has moved away from that also..
So,
I can easily see why this is such a hurdle for my wife. Over the years of trying to introduce this chastity/ bondage or any other light bondage, of any kind she has not changed. The answer is no. If you want to do that, fine , if that helps you somehow, then do it , just don’t ask her to be a part of it. So that’s where self locking comes into the picture.
Someday maybe, .. there is always hope.. in the meantime I will keep locked and keep that simmer of desire for my wife contained till our next encounter, which is due probably this weekend. It’s been about 3 weeks now.
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