[midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

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midlifelovelife
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[midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

Starting a journal today about my experiences with being chaste and allowing my wife to have greater control of my sexuality... especially my orgasms.

Reading this forum, I have really enjoyed this great community of men and their expressiveness about love and commitment to their wives and girlfriends. I admire many of you and I see a lot of common ground. In the past couple of years, we have heard about so many high profile cases of women being mistreated and abused by men. I obviously find this abhorrent. Personally, I find women to be generally superior in many ways, emotionally, intellectually and even physically (I mean, what man wouldn’t want to experience multiple orgasms?)

My wife is my best friend and partner in life. Having grown a family and household, and having faced much adversity together, we share a bond I could never have with anyone else. She was also my first, taking my virginity and teaching me a lot about sex and intimacy. She was more experienced than I was and I have always felt a bit submissive to her and respectful of that experience. She has brought me so much pleasure!

As I said in my hello post, my journey into chastity began last year when my wife and I were looking forward to a road trip without the kids. I decided to “save myself” and not masturbate in the 10 days leading up to the trip. I experienced a familiar feeling of intense affection for my wife (not just horniness) and it felt like the early days of our courtship. During the trip, we had amazing sex and tons of intimate conversations. We talk often about the trip and I think it will always be a touchstone in our marriage.

During the first night of our trip, I explained to my wife that I had felt this refreshed feeling of love for her, that I felt the “butterflies” again. She seemed sad when I said that and asked if something had been missing from our relationship. I said that my feelings towards her had never changed but I had decided to stop jerking off. I had a theory that it had been taking away my energy and focus on her. (At this point, I knew nothing about male chastity and thought I had discovered it.)

My wife hadn’t ever seemed to mind that I masturbated, but she had joked about it from time to time. For example, when she called me and knew that I was alone in the house, she would predict (often correctly) that I had pleasured myself. I think that underneath the humour, she had a feeling that my jerking off was a bit self-indulgent and excluding of her. On that first night of the trip, I told her that I wanted all of my orgasms to be with her from now on. She seemed a bit flattered by this, but insisted that it was my decision if that’s what I wanted.

That trip was several months ago and I have since educated myself a lot about male chastity and the experiences of other men and women. I have continued to uphold my commitment to refrain from masturbating and I have kept my wife updated. This is all happening on the honour system without using a device. She enjoys my increased attention and affection and is getting almost daily foot rubs and frequent full body massages. I consistently become erect when giving her a full body massage. My wife likes to feel my firmness when this happens; it always brings a devilish smile to her face.

Increasingly, my wife is experimenting with teasing me, understanding that it’s something I find exciting. Last night, it was a warm evening and we were having an after dinner drink on the deck while the kids were occupied inside. Both of us were sitting in these bowl chairs that we have with our legs hanging up and over the edges of the bowls. While we were chatting, my wife casually reached under her light summer dress and removed her panties. She made sure that I was able to catch periodic glimpses of her pussy, catching my eyes with a sultry gaze.

After a while, I stood up to start putting our youngest to bed and leaned in to give my wife a kiss. Spreading her legs, she recommended that I discretely sample her scent, which she felt certain was at its peak for her cycle. I dipped my head down to take a quick sniff and immediately felt myself getting hard. I asked my wife if she might like some oral later on and she said, “maybe,” with a mischievous smile.

Later in the bedroom, my wife asked for a back massage. She vocalized her pleasure when I hit the right places. (I find that so hot!) After a while, I extended this to a massage of her lovely ass, which she also audibly enjoyed. I asked her if she was ready for some oral.
“Sorry, babe,” she said, “but I feel so relaxed and sleepy now.” She turned onto her back, smiling and said I could have one more sniff of her mound. God, she smelled so good!

In the morning, when I brought her a morning coffee, my wife asked how my night was. Needless to say, I had some trouble getting off to sleep, which brought a satisfied expression on her face.
“You wanted more teasing,” she said. And she is right! I love her so much and all the fun we are having.
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midlifelovelife
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

Reflecting on my experience and the writings of other members, I’ve been thinking about the idea of orgasm denial and why it’s so exciting. My wife doesn’t understand the appeal. Although I sometimes tease her when we are having sex, I always make her cum. She usually has at least 3 orgasms. She would definitely not be too impressed if I stopped short before getting her off. If I were to do this, I am certain that she would take over and finish the job with her fingers.

And, of course, she enjoys bringing me to climax. When I told her that I would like to sometimes be denied, she found it strange. She is such a wonderful and generous lover, her instinct is to relieve my pent up excitement with the gift of a satisfying orgasm. With denial, I seem to be denying her as well because she so enjoys giving this pleasure. I imagine that many members have faced this dilemma when introducing their partners to OC.

So, I have been trying to think rationally about exactly why I desire to be denied. I think there are 4 major reasons.

The first reason is the so called “mind fuck.” At this point in my life, I have come to understand that my brain is indeed the largest and most important sex organ. I also realize that I have submissive tendencies in the bedroom. I am inexplicably aroused by my wife having control of my pleasure: knowing what I am thinking and being able to control my triggers. The greatest demonstration of her control is to toy with the orgasm— the very peak of pleasure. By deciding to deny me, she exercises supreme control— of me and herself. For those of us with submissive tendencies, this is like getting properly fucked, in the pleasure centres of our minds.

The second reason is the long lasting arousal that accompanies orgasm denial. The stirrings that continue after being teased are at least 100 times better than the way I feel in the minutes and hours after a climax. Our male orgasms are intense, but the feeling is so short lived... only seconds. After several days of denial, I experience a kind of euphoria that I rarely knew in the days when I masturbated to orgasm frequently and at will.

The third reason is that denial has allowed me to enjoy the whole spectrum of feelings that lead up to my orgasm. When focused on the climax, I would always rush there. I think this has contributed to my tendency for PE, which is something I wish to work on. I am now more aware of small sensations and the pleasure of my orgasm approaching. It is a more complex sequence than I had realized. While not as intense as cumming, the “edge” is very pleasurable and I can experience it multiple times in one session.

Lastly, denial leaves me with a feeling of intense adoration and desire for my wife and her alone. While she has always been the focus of my sexual fantasies during masturbation, I would often think about other partners as well. But since becoming chaste, she is the only one on my mind. I don’t wear a device so I am practicing based on the honour system and can’t help but edge myself one or more times a week. In these times, I am always imagining an encounter with my darling wife. But these feelings are well beyond sex. I feel intense love for her— like courtship love. The masturbating me was much quicker to notice her faults and to disagree with her. Now I find myself loving her much more unconditionally. It is a warm and beautiful feeling for me and I think she is enjoying it too.

What a strange thing that OC can have such wide-ranging effects, but it helps me understand the appeal of denial.
5 x
midlifelovelife
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

I think my wife is starting to enjoy opportunities to be more dominant with her body. Although my chastity practice is my own initiative, I think she enjoys the fact that I am increasing aroused by her, even in the smallest ways.

With the ongoing lockdown, I am working from home, so we see each other all the time. Of course the kids are also around, so the chances for sex are not as frequent as I would like! As I work at the dining room table, my wife will take opportunities to flirt with me and distract my attention. After she gets dressed she will often lean her beautiful breasts against my face and let me reach up her dress to feel her cute ass. As soon as she had appeared, she slips away with a devilish smile.

Like many other men on this forum, I am getting the chance to do pedicures for her. Her feet are so adorable and sexy and I think chastity has contributed to my sudden foot fetish. Last weekend, she suggested that we give her another fresh colour and I agreed so suddenly and so enthusiastically that she laughed a bit. I love to paint her little toes while she barely pays attention, reading her magazine while I work away.

One afternoon this week, we had a rare chance being alone while the kids were invited to a late afternoon swim at a neighbour's pool. My wife came to me in the dining room and simply said, "In eight minutes, I will be naked with my legs spread on our bed. You had better come up and lick me." I was exactly on time.

My wife was pretty horny and moist as I went down on her. She was soon close to orgasm. I backed off a bit and teased her. She encouraged this play but then wanted me to take her over the edge. I increased the pace, licking back and forth on her hard clit with my finger probing her g-spot. She came loudly and had, I think, three orgasms in rapid succession.

When she had caught her breath, she looked at me and said, "now what?" "Whatever you want," I said. She then told me to get the lube and to take my cock out. I returned to her and slowly eased into her. She had just finished her period, and she is always a bit sensitive at this time. After some gentle movements told me to keep going deeper and then gave a sudden gasp of pleasure as I penetrated all the way.

I told her that I wouldn't be able to last very long and asked her if she wanted me to cum. She said, "I won't last long either, so let's come together." We both had powerful orgasms, looking in each other's eyes (well, she had two orgasms, actually, playing with her clit while I thrusted.) We lay there for a moment enjoying the wonderful intimacy. Then we cleaned up before the kids got home.

What a wonderful surprise! This weekend is her birthday and I am taking her away for a local getaway at a hotel. Total surprise for her. I will definitely be packing some massage oil and the nail polish kit.
5 x
midlifelovelife
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

I am taking things slowly on this journey. Since I have been with my wife for over 25 years, I am mindful about making too many sudden changes in our sex life. After all, we have a good thing going and I want her to always be comfortable with where this is going. Reading these forms, patience seems to be a common theme. I am also paying attention to little signals to see how she is responding. This journal is also helping me notice how I am responding. Each week, I notice encouraging signs that this is good for both of us.

On this past weekend, it was my wife's birthday. Having been in lockdown for so many weeks, we have been getting a bit stir crazy. Things in our part of the country are starting to relax a bit and we can start going to restaurants again, but just where there's an outdoor patio. I started some research a couple of weeks ago and noticed that a hotel in our city was offering some re-opening specials to stay and dine. I booked a room and waited for the weekend with great excitement. Like many moments of late, it feels like our courtship days.

We had ostensibly planned an at-home date night this weekend with the kids going to the grandparents' place for a night. During the day on Saturday, my wife was busy with some work stuff and I took the opportunity to pack our bag and load the car. In the late afternoon, we headed out to get some take-out (so she thought) and on the way I told her that we would be going out instead. When she guessed that we would be eating at the hotel restaurant, she was now excited too. When we arrived and I pulled the overnight bag from the trunk, she was totally surprised.

We had some time before the dinner reservation so we checked in and went up to the room, opening a bottle of wine and taking in the view. She looked so beautiful in the late afternoon sun. We talked and enjoyed each other's company, luxuriating in our solitude without the kids! Our conversation continued on the restaurant patio as the heat of the day settled into a warm and pleasant evening. I felt completely undistracted and focused on her.

After dinner, we had a reservation at the pool for some "socially distant" swimming. (Strange times, but at least it makes for relative privacy, which was nice.) As we bobbed around in the shallow water, my wife felt me get hard against her and smiled at my enthusiasm. We chased each other around for a bit, playfully enjoying the warm water and sunset. Then we went up to the room, had a quick shower and pulled out the nail polish kit. As we watched some television, I gave her a nice pedicure, something I am finding quite erotic.

This was followed by a long full-body massage for her. My wife indulged in this service, purring to encourage my hands. I can't believe how satisfying this feels for me. More and more, her pleasure gives me pleasure. And the massage is erotic for me too. For most of it, I was pitching a tent in my briefs, turned on by her body and her soft sounds. After an hour of this, she was feeling pretty sleepy and suggested we should "play" in the morning.

Before starting this journey into chastity, I would have felt neglected and disappointed by this. But instead, I went to sleep feeling warm and happy. In the morning, I woke her gently with more massage on her back, then i began to kiss her bare ass and inner thighs. I asked her if she wanted me to go down on her. What happened next was interesting too. Instead of submitting to my advances, she halted me, saying, "Slow down, mister. How about some coffee and breakfast first?" I slipped into my clothes and headed down to the lobby to grab some pastries and coffee. We ate our breakfast in bed but I kept thinking about my tongue on her pussy.

Then she told me to draw the curtains and she pulled back the covers to reveal some adorable purple panties that I had packed. I moved in and kissed my way up her thighs, then stroked her mound gently through the thin fabric. I then pulled the fabric aside and licked her in earnest. I also grabbed a vibrator and began to work her with it. Sadly I hadn't checked the batteries and it soon died! What a downer! But it still made for a good dildo. I fucked her with it and increased the pace with my tongue, bringing her to a loud and long orgasm. Then my wife took over, rubbing her clit to a second one. She then asked me if I wanted to go inside her. Of course I did! We fucked and I soon found myself getting close. I asked her if I could cum and she told me to go. I could feel her vaginal spasms grabbing me as she also had another orgasm. My orgasm was prolonged this time, a glorious wave of pleasure. Then she told me to keep thrusting and managed a fourth orgasm. Again, I felt her spasms on my cock. God, her pussy is so tight and nice! She later told me that the first orgasm with the dildo was one of the best ever.

Back to reality on Sunday afternoon. We went back home and had a family dinner outside. We had cake and sang Happy birthday. Then I washed the dishes. We later settled onto the couch. My wife then said it was still her birthday and she wasn't done being pampered. She thrust her feet into my lap. (She knows I live it when she does this.) I massaged her beautiful little feet for about half an hour. Then she said it was time for bed and that she would like more of her massage. I jokingly said that the massaging was done. After all, I had got what I was wanting that morning.

"Careful!" she said, "You know that I get to decide when he gets to come out." She lowered her eyes to my crotch. Suffice to say, my wife was getting her massage about 30 minutes later when the kids were put to bed. While I rubbed in the oil, I told her that was an incredibly hot thing to say. She just smiled.

I think she is getting used to the power and is liking it. So am I.
5 x
midlifelovelife
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

I would like to be teased more often but I don't want to become annoying or make OC into something that my wife considers as "work." Since I explained to her that I enjoy the teasing, she does seem to have fun with it sometimes. Yesterday evening we got home from a long car trip. The AC in our car had stopped working so we were both hot and windblown by the time we got home.

After a bite of dinner, we showered together. At one time, this almost always came with a handjob to completion. My wife would never want any attention or seem to get aroused in the shower. It was almost like she was giving me a kind of maintenance ejaculation. I think it may have become too routine and that my satisfaction had become an assumed outcome as soon as I started running the water.

Last night, we soaped up, talking at length about our trip and enjoying the cool water on our tired bodies. Then my wife took my cock in her hand and began stroking me. It's been 10 days since my last orgasm and I started craving one from her skillful hand. But once I was fully erect, she stopped and looked down, just kind of admiring it. She made a remark about how I am still"liberal" (that is, my. cock leans a bit to the left when hard.) Then she resumed washing herself and smiling. The action was over. What a wonderful tease.

After the shower, I treated my bride to a full body massage. I was hard for most of it, especially when working on her cute ass. She moaned with pleasure, probably a bit more than was natural. She is well aware of the effect this has on my arousal.

With this morning's coffee, I made a point of complimenting her on her teasing. She thanked me for this and said she is trying to make good on her resolution to give more. Communication is good, right?
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Dredger
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by Dredger »

Oh that sounds just like my Princess. She is teasing me madly like that and already its working. I have never spent so long giving her a foot massage or a back massage for a kiss and a goodnight. Just like I used to do to her after pleasuring myself. When she eventually lets me use my tongue with her, she had a riding crop for me to ensure I was the right speed and tongue in exactly the right place at all times for her. I have never worked so hard to please.
2 x
midlifelovelife
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

A bit of a setback this week.
With all the great teasing, my arousal has been high. At the same time, my wife is often quite tired at the end of the day, as she is working on a big organization project at home. She doesn't feel like much play time, and she craves more massage than normal, which you know gets me going.

Anyway, a few nights ago, I couldn't help but edge myself as I lay awake with her sleeping beside me. Although I thought I had ended stimulation in time, after several seconds without contact, my cock fluttered and dribbled out onto my stomach. A classic ruin. I immediately felt shame and disappointment in myself, especially after such good self control and my wife's investment of time into teasing attention. I cleaned up and went to a troubled sleep.

Now, the next day, I felt like the effects of the unplanned transgression were minimal. I still had a simmering arousal and a desire to be attentive to my wife. But later in the day, my wife and I were talking about household finances and I became grumpy and negative. I spoke to her in an unkind way and this affected her mood right up until bedtime.

Throughout much of our marriage, that type of discussion would have been typical for me, especially when talking about money matters. This has earned me the nickname of "crusty" from my wife. Since practicing OC, I have moved away from being the crusty me, motivated to be more kind and positive. I didn't like hearing myself slip back into negativity and later realized that the orgasm must have had more of an impact than I had thought.

I have not admitted to my wife about the masturbation to climax. I think if I told her, she would remind me that OC was my idea and she's not going to police my orgasms if I am not serious about it. It's all on me, really. I also think she might feel self conscious about her own libido being low at the moment. She might feel my admission is a kind of guilt trip, which is definitely not what I would want to convey.

I think I will bring it up at a future time when we are in a more playful mood. I want her to know that this game is really having benefits for me as a man and a husband. The unfortunate loss of control reminded me how much orgasms take my energy and shift my attitude. I truly want all of my orgasms to happen with her and on her terms. As we are on the honour system, I might need her help to stay disciplined. I know that with a little bit of tough love and encouragement, her influence will make all the difference.

At this point, I think that introducing a device would be a level of kink that we aren't yet ready for. I know that most of the other members are well past that point but I expect there are a few honour system types out there as well. I would welcome thoughts from anyone who has struggled with this stage of the journey. How have you encouraged your partner to take charge and coach you to higher levels of self discipline?
1 x
midlifelovelife
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

A hot surprise playtime this weekend. Playtime was unexpected as it was that time of the month for my wife... an especially heavy one that left her feeling tired and uncomfortable. On Saturday evening, we relaxed on the couch watching TV, my wife reclining at one end with me sitting beside her feet. My wife was also checking her Facebook. She gently stretched her foot out onto my lap, our wordless agreement that she expects me to give her a foot rub. (She knows I love this and that I get turned on by it.)

After some time with me working on her beautiful feet, she remarked at how I have developed quite a foot fetish recently. "I can't say I blame you," she said, "my feet are quite adorable." She wondered aloud how common it is for men to have this fetish, then she began Googling the subject on her phone. As she read, she read out small snippets of interest: "...this one says that a foot fetish is often associated with an expression of subservience. That makes sense for you..."

Then she said, "Aren't you going to suck my toes?" (I have done this on a few occasions. She never said much about it but hadn't asked me to stop. She had said afterwards that it "felt nice." I have wanted to do it more but usually stop at kissing her toes.) So I took her toes into my mouth and swirled my tongue gently around each one. When I reached her second smallest toe, she obviously enjoyed it particularly. She closed her eyes and raised her hips off the couch. "That makes me tingle," she gasped, "Do you think it could be connected to my..." Her voice trailed off, immersed in bliss.

I was getting pretty hard at this point, excited by my wife's dominant taking of pleasure. "Too bad you can't go down on me right now," she said, referring to her period. Then, "go get that little vibrator." I went upstairs to our bedroom and retrieved the bullet vibe, putting in a fresh battery. I brought it down and handed it to her. Her hand disappeared under the blanket and I heard it begin whirring. She closed her eyes and sighed, writhing in pleasure. I resumed sucking on that magic toe, watching her the whole time. It didn't take long for her to cum in a beautiful wave of moaning and gasping.

Then she ramped up the tempo of the vibe. I rose up on top of her and rubbed her nipples through her dress. She came again, biting her lip. I told her how hot it was to watch her masturbating and I would love if she did this more often. She told me she would be glad to do that as she felt my erection through my shorts. Then she told me to make myself cum. I grabbed some tissue and began stroking my cock. My wife resumed with the vibrator and we soon climaxed together. After about 10 days since my last one, it was very intense!

Afterwards, we went up to the bedroom and I massaged my wife's temples and scalp. She remarked on the intensity of my orgasm and said it must be because of how long it has been since the last time we had sex. I admitted to my "unauthorized" orgasm last week and how I had meant to not cum. I explained that her intense teasing in the shower had made it difficult to hold back. She smiled at this, satisfied with her seductive powers over me.

I think she is really enjoying her dominant side a bit more each week.
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TwistedMister
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by TwistedMister »

midlifelovelife wrote: Mon Jul 13, 2020 7:40 am So I took her toes into my mouth and swirled my tongue gently around each one. When I reached her second smallest toe, she obviously enjoyed it particularly. She closed her eyes and raised her hips off the couch. "That makes me tingle," she gasped, "Do you think it could be connected to my..." Her voice trailed off, immersed in bliss.
Same thing happens to my wife.
1 x
04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
midlifelovelife
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Re: [midlifelovelife] My Journey into OC

Post by midlifelovelife »

This forum has been great for me: a place to gather my thoughts about how I am feeling and what I really want. It has also been an unlimited resource for learning about the ways that other couples have played this game (there are so many ways!) and how couples have communicated about it. Hats off to the founders and the great community of men (and women, but mostly men) who contribute on a regular basis. This is like the Library of Congress for male chastity-- topics and posts going back years.

I was reading one such post about "talking to your wife." I have to admit, although my wife is my best friend since 25 years ago, male chastity is a tricky topic to broach. I keep bringing it up gradually, mostly emphasizing that I am committed to turning my back on masturbation and that I want to only have orgasms on her terms. She has taken notice of my generally submissive tendencies and my eagerness to pamper and please her. I have often talked about how much I enjoy the teasing, even without any promise of sex. The post I was reading put forward an old blog entry: http://gweninlove.blogspot.com/2012/03/ ... evice.html
I had never seen this before and I liked that it was written from a woman's perspective. I texted a link to my wife in the early morning, before her usual digital surf before starting the day.

"Well that was an interesting article you sent me," she said when I brought up her cup of coffee. She was especially interested in the many comments that have been posted. I actually hadn't read many of the comments, but I was glad she did. I told her I relate to many of the guys who get into chastity, especially the blog author's partner. She talked about the devices and said I don't seem to need one, as I am "doing quite well" (with the honor system).

I don't know if she has been thinking much about it or not, but on the weekend she did a very dominant and sexy thing. After I brushed my teeth and came to bed, she told me I just blew my chance to go down on her. (There's something about the smell of mint that turns her off getting intimate. She never lets me go down on her when I have just brushed my teeth.) "Pass me that vibrator," she ordered. And so I did.

Last week, I wrote about how sexy it is when she masturbates in front of me and I told her to think about doing it more often. She was definitely listening. I placed my hand on her thigh as she worked the toy, but she brushed it away. "This isn't about you," she said, moaning with pleasure, "you can just lie there and think about the orgasm you should have given me." I could only see her outline in the low lighting, but the sounds and smells were unbelievably exciting.

After a few minutes, she relented and told me to get my tongue on her. I didn't hesitate to comply. She told me to work the vibe inside her while I licked. The dominant tone and her rising pleasure had me in a trance. When she came, I actually ejaculated as well, without any physical stimulation. That has rarely happened in my life. My wife had a couple more orgasms before telling me to withdraw the vibe. She slowly quivered back to earth.

I had to come clean and tell her that I had come as well. She seemed sort of relieved that there was nothing to decide about my orgasm. She usually likes to see me get me off when she comes. She is such a fulfilling and generous partner in bed. When we went back to bed after cleaning up, she said she regretted letting me lick her pussy. She thought she should have been more resolute about denying me the pleasure... She just likes oral so much. I told her I was flattered.

I have been thinking about that lovemaking session for much of the past 24 hours. Although my actual orgasm was not very intense, my level of arousal and mental stimulation were extreme. I am doing my best to emphasize this to my wife as I continue to work on better communication about my feelings in chastity.
3 x
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