[Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

So today is the longest I think I’ve gone without having an orgasm. I know it is nothing for some of you but 13 days is a record for me. Before this it was 12 days. I haven’t mentioned this record to my wife - I’m trying not to talk about chastity and orgasm control too much although it is constantly on my mind.

Last night I dreamed I came in three different dreams. I guess this is my subconscious telling me that I really miss and want to orgasm. I suspect if I’d been able to get hard that I would have had a wet dream by now. I mentioned my dreams to my wife and she simply responded that it was good that I was able to dream about it because that was as close as I was going to get for a while.

We’ve got a wedding anniversary coming up and she’s already told me that there is no reason for me to orgasm just because it was our anniversary. Only one of us needs to cum and that’s her. She’s taken to this whole thing really well. If she holds strong with denial for our anniversary then it will defiantly be a moment when all this is really well.

We were supposed to be on vacation right now but everything got cancelled due to Covid. We had reserved a house with a large front porch last year with the plan of having sex on the front porch one night. I think both of us were looking forward to that experience. We were talking about it and I asked if we had been able to go this year then would I be allowed to cum. She said no. I’d be caged most of the time except when she wanted to use me but otherwise, there would be no reason for me to cum even if we were on vacation.

She currently has one key in a lockbox and the second key hidden. I’m going to make her a key lock today out of a copper tube and a fingerprint padlock so it is easier for her to access the key when she wants it as the lockbox is clunky at times. Basically I’m going to drill a hole in the tube for the lock and the key will hang inside the tube. I want everything to be as trouble free for her as possible so that none of this feels like work. I like the fact that she holds all the keys now and that I can’t get out without asking her first.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Well I guess I can say that this week is when things got real. It was our anniversary and we had anniversary sex but only she was allowed to orgasm. I got to have sex but I wasn’t allowed to orgasm and had to lock back up shorty after. I asked her if she felt guilty about denying me and she simply said she didn’t. She is enjoying this and wants to see how long I can go. I’m not sure what that means but clearly she has no intention of letting me orgasm any time soon. I’m also wondering what “how long I can go” looks like? Is she waiting for me to beg her?

We’re both enjoying this but for different reasons. She’s enjoying the power and control and I’m enjoying the feeling of being kept.

So how long can I go? It has been 15 days and we’ve made it past our anniversary so if there was going to be a moment where she felt guilty and wanted to let me orgasm then that would have been it.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I mentioned earlier that we decided a Wife Led Marriage or FLR was not for us but I wanted to find ways to make her life easier and to show my appreciation to her since she was taking on a new role and dynamic with chastity and orgasm denial.

After discussing things with her, I found a few things that I didn’t regularly do that I could start doing that would make her happier. These are not things that I have to do or am doing in servitude to her but they make her life easier and bring a smile to her face. I think they make me a better and more attentive husband. We already share in housework and managing our children, but these things were things that I decided to commit to do every day. These things bookend my day as I start and end the day doing something just to make her happy.

The first is making the bed every morning. She wakes up before me so I’m usually the last one out of the bed. I make it and put on all the decorative pillows so it looks nice. If the sheets need to be changed, I change them first thing in the morning, immediately wash the dirty sheets and make the bed. I do this first thing, before coffee, breakfast, or anything else. After the sheets are dry, I fold them and put everything in a pillowcase so that they are ready the next week or if the ones on the bed need to be changed for any reason. She loves having a made bed.

The second thing that I do is each night, when we’re getting ready for bed, I remove the decorative pillows and turn down the sheets to make the bed ready. I also turn on her bedside lamp and turn off the light in the room. I also fill an insulated water bottle with fresh filtered water from the refrigerator and bring it to our room. I empty her water glass on her nightstand and fill it with fresh water. Finally, if her wedding ring isn’t on her ring holder, I get it and put it on it. She occasionally leaves it by the bathtub while taking a bath or downstairs while working out.

I would like to think that I would continue to do these things if we decided to stop playing with chastity and orgasm denial. They were not something I was actively doing before we started. Sometimes she thanks me and I thank her for letting me do these things for her and other times she sits and reads while I go about my evening routine which presses my submissive buttons. Again, these are all things that are more valuable to her so when I’m doing them, I think to myself that this is for her and makes her happy. If she’s happy, so am I.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Today is one of those days when I question everything. I wonder why I’m doing this? Why did I suggest to have my cock locked up and not allowed to orgasm? I don’t feel especially horny today; there have certainly been days when I was much more desiring to cum in any way possible. I’ve felt like this before, I guess around the two or three week mark when this started but then I was having more orgasms so I don’t think that I am feeling this down because I haven’t cum in 19 days.

A couple days ago we were talking and I asked if she had thought of when she’d let me cum and she responded by pointing out that she had been asking me to fix something in her car for three months so that sounded like a good time. Three months from June 1st would be September 1st. 73 days from now and I’m not even a quarter of the way there. It sounds exciting and scary.

On our walk last night I brought it up and asked her if she was serious in her September 1st decision and she responded that she was not sure. At first I told her I was up to the challenge and that I wanted it. As a matter of fact, I said that if I went to September 1st that I wanted her to deny me longer. She said sometimes she misses regular sex so she wasn’t sure.

I realized then that I was topping from the bottom. I apologized and told her that I also missed regular sex but was hoping that both of us were enjoying this new experience. I told her that she was in charge and if she wanted regular sex then that was what we’d have, when she wanted. I promised that I’d quit trying to push this on her. She assured me that she was enjoying this. It is a power rush for her to know that I can’t get hard without her and I can’t cum unless she wants/allows me. She also enjoys knowing that I enjoy this. She’s happy because I happy and I’m happy because she’s happy.

She gave me the key when we got in the shower last night and told me to make sure my cock is clean. We stayed up reading but when the lights went out, things heated up. Before we started to kiss, she told me that I wasn’t allowed to cum tonight but she was. She did. It was a good time. I locked back up when we were finished.

Back to today and tonight. I talked to her about how I felt. I asked her if I was stupid for doing all this and her response was that I wasn’t stupid and she liked having my cock locked up. That’s all the assurance I need. I promised her that I’d continue to make the bed, fill her water glass, pickup her dirty laundry, put her wedding ring on the ring holder, and make her breakfast. She said she’d promise to keep her cock locked in a cage. I guess I just needed to hear that because I feel better now. Just not horny.
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by KittensBoyToy »

It sounds like you are off to a great start on this journey. I hope the two of you enjoy it as much as M'Lady and I have.
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I'm Kitten's property and She keeps Her property secure in a Jail Bird!
DharmaProject
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm
Location: Cleveland OH
Last orgasm: September 17th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 19
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Last night, I thought she’d let me orgasm. I’d been feeling down and stressed. Working from home is nice but she knows I’ve been struggling to stay focused and it is easier for me to focus on work when I’m in my office. Due to Covid, the boss people have made everyone work from home for the past few months and for the foreseeable future. There were a few developments at my workplace this week that I’m not happy about and I’ve mentioned them to her. Anyway, her monthly friend is due any day now so I did not expect any action for the next week or so. I was surprised when she unlocked the key and told me to remove the cage.

I wasn’t sure what she had in mind and I wasn’t going to ask. I figured I’d just see what happened. She mentioned that she hadn’t teased me or given me any attention for a few days and I replied that this wasn’t about me, it was all about her. I had read Thumper’s most recent post earlier that day and it was something that I needed to hear - being denied and being caged was not for me, it is all for her and I want it to be all about her. I like feeling kept and she has agreed to keep and deny me. This should not require any additional work or effort from her.

I was surprised when she turned off her lamp and crawled on top of me and we started making out. The feeling in the air was that this was going to be focused on me. I guess I had assumed that because she was on her period that she wasn’t looking for anything for her. I was wrong. She hadn’t started and she was in the mood. Then things decided not to work in my favor. The desire was there but the desired reaction from my end wasn’t working. It may have been stress or it was probably the champagne that I had finished off earlier in the evening. Or it could have just been my mental game messing me up. Anyway, at that moment, the moment when she wanted me to perform, I was not able.

We continued to focus on her and I gave her oral and she used one of her vibrators until she came. It was then that things decided to start working for me. I’m not sure what was going on with me but I think it is a mental thing where I just start focusing too much on getting hard that I’m unable to get hard. I have a theory that the champagne is also a trigger as the now three times that this has happened to me we’re after drinking champagne. Maybe there’s something in it that interferes with my ability to function or maybe I’ve convinced myself that I’ll have difficulties if I drink champagne. It doesn’t help that of all the wines, we only like champagne. Any other alcohol, I’m fine.

Anyway, after she came and put her clothes back on I was able to get hard. Better late than never, right? I tried to get her to go for another round but instead she went down on me and started really teasing me. We hadn’t discussed if I was going to get to cum tonight or more specifically, she hadn’t told me that I wasn’t going to get to cum tonight. I mentioned how good it felt and how I wanted to cum and that it had been more than three weeks. Her response surprised me when she told me she didn’t think it was time for me to cum and that she thought it hadn’t been long enough. I actually begged her to let me and she said that she knows that I can go much longer and that tonight wasn’t going to be the night. I really wanted to cum and told her that we could always start the clock over and go for longer next time but she still denied me. She reminded me that I had asked her to deny me and that this was what I wanted and she enjoyed denying me.

It was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I wasn’t angry or upset. I was just shocked and surprised. I honestly thought tonight was going to be the night and was fully ready to start from day zero. She knows her role in this and is performing greatly. She assured me that she likes knowing I’m locked up and that she is the only source of me being able to orgasm. She told me that she’s not going to let me beg my way out of this as this is what I asked for. She teased me a little longer and brought me close a few times before telling me to lock back up.

This morning, I’m glad she didn’t give in to me and I’m even more excited to be kept by her.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Well my new record of not orgasming is 29 days. Part of me is glad that she didn’t make me wait until September 1st but part of me is struggling with continuing on this journey. I suspect that I’m still in the post orgasm mood and I’ll be better in a few days but honestly, right now I’d like to take a break and be reminded that I’ve got my cock in a cage with now way out. I guess it is good that she has all the keys and I have no way to unlock without her knowing since one key is in a lockbox that only she knows the combination to and the other key is locked in a safe that can only be opened by her fingerprint.

I locked back up after we finished the other night and have faithfully completed my tasks to serve her but the desire to serve isn’t as strong. I’m sure it will pass once we have sex again and she denies me. I hope it will.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

The desire to continue this journey is slowly returning. We had sex last night and I wasn’t allowed to orgasm. Afterwards she told me to lock up. It felt good. She has mentioned how she’s enjoying this which is vital to us continuing.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

My wife has maintained my lockup and has received oral from me about every other day although I offer every day. She’s enjoying this more which is the most important thing in all this.

I just returned from a multi-day camping trip. Before I left, we discussed if she was going to let me go uncared or if she was just going to leave a numbered plastic security tab in place of the lock. I actually got out a few plastic tabs so she could decide on the color. I told her that I’d be fine locked up and if something happened that required me to remove the cage then I could always cut off the lock. She seemed to like the idea of the plastic tab as it would be easier for me to remove in an emergency situation. I told her that I thought I’d be fine locked up but that ultimately, the decision was hers and I wouldn’t argue with her decision. In the end, we did not discuss it further and I got too busy packing to remind her so I went away locked. Being in the woods wearing a locked chastity cage did create some challenges as I haven’t mastered peeing standing up while wearing the cage. I did manage and nothing happened but I do wonder about my lackadaisical attitude about not having access to the keys to the lock.

I like knowing that I have no way to unlock without asking her. I know she wouldn’t deny me but when we first started, I had access to the key at any time and there were times when I’d unlock to adjust things or just to pee standing up. It just didn’t feel real to me if I knew that I could access the keys, even if she hid them. I bought a realtor’s key box and she is the only one that knows the combination. It was a little clunky to use so I drilled a hole in the end of a copper pipe and bought a fingerprint padlock that finds through the hole and the key hangs in the pipe. This is easier for her when she wants me unlocked. Both keys are secure and hanging on her dresser but I honestly don’t have access unless I want to use a tool to destroy one to get the key. Honestly, it just feels more real this way and I feel like she has absolute control.

If I encountered an emergency situation, I know the emergency room has bolt cutters and truthfully it wouldn’t take much to defeat the lock. I know the emergency room has encountered worse. I’d never want to expose an unwitting party to this kink but I feel like an emergency situation would be a good exception. A cage isn’t that much different than a piercing, right? I know there are others here that feel differently about having access to an emergency key but at this stage and in the current situation where we aren’t traveling and spend 99% of the time together at home, I like not having easy access to the key.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I continue to reflect on this lifestyle and how it has made me feel closer to my wife. We’ve always had a very open, loving and supportive marriage and we really have never fought. We’ve remained faithful to each other so introducing chastity was not a means to demonstrate my promise not to stray from her and we’ve always had a very good sex life so this is not an attempt to improve things in the bedroom. I was not a chronic masturbator or addicted to porn although I did enjoy the freedom to get off when I wanted, but this did not interfere with our relationship. Now that I’m locked up and have not masturbated in months, combined with the fact that she holds all the keys, I feel much more devoted to her and am reminded that I have submitted to her.

She’s mentioned that I’ve had a good run with being able to regularly orgasm and she is sure I can orgasm less while she gets to orgasm more but I’ve always made sure she orgasms when we have sex. I’m not complaining as I now enjoy the feeling of not orgasming and feel the post orgasm high when I make her orgasm. The other day, after completing oral on her she mentioned how good it feels when I do it to her and how she may not ever uncage me. I was surprisingly okay with that thought. It should be about her and my pleasure should not depend on my orgasm. I am certainly getting it in other ways.

When we started this, I proposed weekly maintenance spankings but neither of us like the word maintenance as I don’t need to be maintained or reminded of my role. Instead we’ve settled on recentering spankings to allow both of us to enjoy our places - her’s as the dominate and mine as the submissive. Just about every Monday, we go to our room, I strip down while she remains clothed, I get out the implements and bend over. She decides what she is going to use and for how long. We’ve decided that when we’re doing this that there is no safe word. If I say stop, she will assure me that she will decide when to stop and what I can take. We haven’t gotten to that point yet but she has grown more confident in the amount of force that she can use and often, I wonder how much longer will it be before she decides it is enough. Afterwards, she rubs some cream on the impact areas and rubs my back. She likes these sessions as it allows her to focus solely on me and I like them because I know I’m totally submitting to her.

She knows that I enjoy a certain degree of pain at times. We have a ball press but using it would require me to remove the cage so she will sometimes squeeze or pull on my balls after rubbing me in my cage. She will pinch and pull my nipples which is something that I never thought I’d enjoy. Finally, she will put Icy Hot on my balls and allow me to lay in bed while it runs the range of being not so bad to really bad to not being that bad. She knows I enjoy this and she enjoys giving me this type of pleasure. None of it is done as a punishment or with malice.

We’ve discussed my orgasm denial and we’ve both realized that if this is going to be all about her, neither of us needs to have to think about if I’m going to get to orgasm each time we have sex. If we start each session with her reminding me that I can’t orgasm then is it really all about her? It should be understood that I’m not allowed to orgasm and I’m just not going to orgasm so there is no reason to mention it, discuss it or think about it. It is all about her. This said, she still wants me to be able to orgasm so we have decided that once every four to six weeks would be fair. This will ensure that we have a four week period of not having to think about it followed by a two week window of me being able to mention how I’d like to orgasm but it is still her decision when. Once I orgasm then the clock starts back at zero or if the two week window passes, then we’re back to waiting another four weeks. I’m not going to beg for a release and she no longer has to worry about if I am expecting a release. It is all about her.

I understand that this is a lifestyle and a game that we’re playing. At any point, either of us can decide to take a break. None of this has to remain permanent. Maybe the newness And novelty will wear off at some point. At this stage, I hope we go twenty years of me being caged, denied and regularly submitting to her. I find comfort and a new degree of satisfaction from it. She is enjoying the dominance and a new way to be devoted to me while giving me pleasure. That is what is important.
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