[Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

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Excited+Scared1
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by Excited+Scared1 »

Really great blog Dharma! I’ll always read yours first when I see you’ve updated, and we will lay in bed and I’ll read yours to Mistress T, my KH. 16 days is my longest without orgasm, but your thoughts about getting some relief just by licking your KH to an orgasm absolutely rings true for me too - so long as I’m giving my KH the orgasms she deserves I’m sure I could go even longer.
Please keep up the great writing 👍
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Thank you for the kind words, Excited+Scared1.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I realized something last night - my wife has not asked me to uncage so that I can have sex with her in over two weeks. In the past few months, there have been multiple times where we’ve had sex but I haven’t been allowed to orgasm - basically we go at it until shortly after she orgasms and then we stop. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been performing oral on her and she has commented how much better it feels for her to get off like that and that she may not ever want to unlock me. I’ve made it clear to her that I want it to be all about her and this is certainly getting to the point where it is all about her. Both of us are enjoying it.

We discussed when I’m to be allowed to orgasm and the four to six week schedule but she made a good point in that if we have a schedule in place then it is no longer her decision on when I’m allowed to orgasm. She prefers that I orgasm when she wants me to orgasm. Again, I’m fine with this as it is her decision. The way things are currently going, I don’t see it happening any time soon and I’m currently in the phase of being content not orgasming as she rarely teases or edges me and it has only been two and a half weeks since I was allowed to orgasm. I have given her domaine over my penis and orgasms and want to maintain things as being all about her.

This week we had an opportunity where our children were out of the house so we did a spanking scene using some of the noisier implements. She went harder and for a little longer than we do on our regularly weekly spankings. I wish she would have gone longer and restrained me. I want her to find my limits and push past them. When she spanks me, I’ve given her the rights to any safe word so I am totally at her mercy. I’ve also expressed that if I say stop that I want her to say that she knows I can take more and continue. We’ve gotten close to me wanting to say ease up but not to the point where I wish she would stop. Again, it is all about her and me submitting to her means that I will do what she wants.

I would like more teasing, some edging and maybe explore ruined orgasms. I’ve expressed these desires to her but she really hasn’t acted or attempted anything. I question if it is something she wants or just something that I want. I suspect it is something that I want more and by pushing the issue, I’m making it about me and not about her. I want to commit to it being all about her. Nothing else. Honestly it feels good to bring her to orgasm and see her catch her breath. Almost as good as orgasming myself. Maybe as good or better?

My new ring for my Evotion Cage 8 came yesterday. It fits much better. If anyone is interested in ordering one I’d strongly encourage that they go slightly bigger in the base ring and slightly bigger in the gap. I have a 2’ base ring and 3/8th gap on my Jailbird and originally was trying to make a 48mm ring 8 mm gap work on the Cage 8 but found that the 48mm was too tight so I got a 55mm with a 8mm gap but found that too tight. The new base ring is also 55mm and has a 12mm gap which is much more comfortable than the 8mm gap. The cage itself is very light weight, I love the fact that it is blue with a pink locking strap, and I can pee standing up. The only drawback is that it seems more bulky than the Jailbird. I may go back to wearing the Jailbird full time and only wear the Cage 8 when I’m traveling or camping so I can pee standing up. It is always nice to have options.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I made it until the end of July before the cage came off. It was only two weeks ago but it feels like much longer. In June I went 29 days without an orgasm and July was only 27 days. I know these numbers are nothing for some of you life timers but for me, it was a record. Since our wedding anniversary, my wife has had 21 orgasms compared to my 7. She didn’t permit me to orgasm on our anniversary which I found hot and scary. It really felt like she was taking it real.

Since we had sex at the end of July, she hasn’t wanted me caged. She has said she likes having free access to me and the first week we had sex every other day. It has been a nice break but I’m ready to put the cage back on but I’m waiting for her to start her period before doing it. She’s said that she wants me locked while she is out of service. I’ve also asked her to resume denying me.

I’ve had urges to jerk off but haven’t acted in them. Since I started keeping track of things, I’ve had 15 orgasms since April 1st. I’m not sure how many she’s had since I only started counting hers on our anniversary. She’s gotten herself off on her own when I wasn’t home and told me about them but they don’t count towards the numbers which I think is fair.

Today was the first day since unlocking that she spanked me. It isn’t a punishment spanking or really a maintenance spanking. It is just a time for us to connect with me submitting to her and her dominating me. We’ve both expressed how much we’ve missed it although it has only been two weeks so I’m sure it will return to being a weekly activity. It feels good submitting to her, even if I’m not currently caged. Chastity is really more of a mental thing so it doesn’t matter if I’m caged or not, I’ve promised not to orgasm without her permission. My orgasms are now hers and I’ll continue this path, locked or unlocked. When we started, I told her I want this to be about her and the absence of a device does not change that.
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

And then it was over.....

Yesterday she said that since school was starting back up and summer vacation was over that I needed to be locked back up. I put the cage back on and am now back in lockdown mode. We discussed the future and she gave me the standard answers to me asking when she planned to let me out and when I was going to get to orgasm again. Same answer to both questions, “when she decides.” We had sex on August 9th and I now realize that that may have been the last time for me for a while. We know I can go for just under 30 days. Anyway, she reminded me that it is all about her which is what I’ve asked for and agreed to so it looks like she gave me a two week break where I got to experience pre-chastity and pre-orgasm control. It was nice but I like this better and I thick she does as well.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

100 days does not sound like a long time. Four 25 day shifts. Every 10 days is 10%. Every day is another percentage point. I told my wife that I wanted to go 100 days and it looks like she’s going to let me. Or more. There is a chance that I’ve had my last orgasm of 2020. She’s taken control and is enjoying it which is important.

I’m currently on day 28. She’s only uncaged me once for PIV sex. I’ve given her oral about once every 2-3 days. We discussed how she feels and I had to reassure her that I was enjoying the denial and being locked up. This is fun and new and different. She said that she feels guilty that there is nothing in it for me and I had to explain how there is so much more for me now. The indicator that I’ve reached my peak and had an orgasm is no more which means that one session runs into another session. Her remaining strong and denying me is the best thing.

We’re still doing weekly spanking sessions. I remind her on Monday and when we get a chance, she directs me to our room where I strip and bend over while she selects the implements to use. We don’t use a safe word and don’t have a set time. She decides how long and the severity. She says she enjoys focusing on me. I enjoy submitting to her.

We had a good talk about pegging and her thoughts and concerns. Funny thing is that her biggest concern was not knowing how long to go since there wasn’t any indicator for the end. I assured her that we could go as long as she wanted and we could stop when she felt she’d had enough. She said that she was worried that I wouldn’t tell her if it was hurting or if I wanted her to stop. I assured I’d stop her if I was feeling any pain and I would not complain about the length of time. Last night she bent me over and pegged me for a good amount of time. It was feeling good for me but I was the one who said she could stop because I was worried it was going too long for her. She had a vibrator in the harness which gave her some sensation. Afterwards I performed oral on her. Today we discussed things more and she wants to do it again. She will tell me to prepare the equipment and that she’s going to peg me. Afterwards, I’m going to have to wash the dildo and harness. This further adds to the submissive nature of this activity.

She had told me that she wanted me to be uncaged when she pegged me but she left me caged. She’s increased the amount of teasing and reminding me that she is thinking about my caged and denied state. Like I said, she’s having fun with this as am I but it is more important for her to be enjoying it and receiving some type of benefit.
Last edited by DharmaProject on Tue Sep 22, 2020 7:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I had every intention of going 100 days when my wife decided she wanted to end it at day 33. I’ve been uncaged since and neither of us have mentioned the cage until last night. While I’ve been uncaged she has permitted me to orgasm four times, once in her mouth, twice in her and once on her breasts. Last night she said that my orgasm on 9/17 was the last one for a while and that she felt that trying to go 100 days the first time was ambitious and that she’d make me go longer than 33 days this time. She then had me go down on her. Once she orgasmed, she said that she was tempted to let me have sex with her but that she’s going to be strong. She didn’t even tease me or touch me. We kissed and she said that she knew I was tired and should go to sleep. Her dominance has grown stronger.

I’m glad that I wasn’t aware that my last orgasm was going to be my last for a while. I worry that if I knew that then I might not be able to enjoy myself as much. I’m also glad that she’s resumed my denial and has reaffirmed that I’m not to orgasm unless she lets me. I suspect that tonight after our weekly spanking that she’ll recage me but if she decides she wants unobstructed access to her penis, then that is fine - I don’t mind wearing the cage but it is nice to pee standing up again.

Since our anniversary she’s had 33 orgasms compared to my 11 which is a nice ratio. When I told her this last night she said that we’d increase the ratio. I’m not counting her orgasms that she gives herself. I was out of town this weekend and it was hot that she told me she got herself off twice and that I’m not allowed to get myself off. It is the way it should be, her having as much as she wants and me only getting what she decides I should have.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Last night, we had our weekly spanking session. Knowing that I was back to being denied and would soon have the cage on helped it feel better. The week prior, I was not caged and she’d allowed me a few orgasms so I defiantly was not feeling as submissive and did not enjoy the spanking. It hurt then and I did not derive any pleasure from it. Last night was different. Yes there were moments of pain but there was more enjoyment and pleasure. Being naked while she is clothed and bending over so she can hit me is very submissive and helps reinforce that she is dominating me. I am her submissive.

She played with me while we showered and afterwards I gave her oral. I was not wearing the cage so I started edging for her. I enjoy her watching me while I jerk off. It is something that is private but I’m now sharing it. I stopped before getting too close and am back to missing the feeling of orgasming. She said that I’d need to put the cage back on today but I went ahead and put it on last night so that she could have the pleasure of clicking the lock shut.

I’m back to being locked and denied. She’s indicated that she’s going to leave me in this state until I beg her for release, just so that she can deny me longer. She has the power....
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

My wife pegged me last night. We had listened to a Ruby Ryder podcast and it gave her some ideas. We’ve mostly used doggy style when she’s pegged me but last night she wanted to see my face so we started out with her on top and then I got on top and rode her. She commented on how she now understands it when I like her riding me and encouraged me to ride her. I mentioned that I felt that I was getting close to orgasming and she started encouraging me to try. I was locked so it was very difficult and frustrating. She asked if I thought I could orgasm if I was uncaged and I said yes. She then said, “I’m going to be the only one who gets to cum tonight when you go down on me. I’m going to deny you for 100 days and then more.” I won’t lie, it was hot, exciting and scary. I stayed locked but I felt like I was right on the edge for about an hour afterwards.

She’s really taken to chastity, orgasm denial and letting it be all about her. 2020 has sucked for the most part us discussing and trying out this kink has been great. It is still very new to us but I’m hoping this continues and we explore more.
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DharmaProject
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Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Well I guess I’m due for an update. We’re still practicing chastity and orgasm denial.

We gave Locktober a shot but she decided at some point that she wanted to feel me cum inside of her so the cage came off and stayed off for a week or so. I can’t complain because what she wants is all that matters. She hasn’t given me free reign to orgasm when I want and has increased the amount of teasing for me. I was going on a trip this weekend and she came home and said that she was going to give me a blow job but instead would wait until I got home on Sunday. On Sunday, she said that I looked tired and that maybe on Monday she’d let me orgasm. Last night, after performing oral on her she climbed on top and edged me while riding me and then edged me more with her mouth and hand. I was close to begging but I know it is pointless. There is nothing I can say, promise, or do for her to let me orgasm. I’ve given that right to her and she has told me that I’ll never have the freedom to decide again. It is now hers and hers alone which is very hot. I know if I’m lucky, I’ll never orgasm again without her permission.

We’ve discussed safe words and limits and she has finally agreed that there is no need for me to have a safe word as I trust her completely and she can decide how much is too much. Our weekly spanking sessions have become every other week sessions but her comfort level on spanking me harder has improved. She’s not to the point where I start begging to stop but there have been a few times when it has been close. I’ve told her that if I ever say stop to tell me that she thinks I can take more and to only stop when she wants.

I’m working on getting her to call me out if I slack on my chores or expectations. I’ve expressed how it makes me feel to do things for her to make her life better and how I want her to find more things for me to do to serve her. It isn’t tied to sex but it keeps my mind focused on her and how she is the most important thing in the world to me.

So that’s where we are currently. I’m currently uncaged but I’m sure the cage will need to go back on soon to avoid any wet dreams. I’ve found that the longer I go without an orgasm, the more sexual my dreams get. When I get to this point, I request that she lock me up so I won’t be able to get hard in hopes that I won’t have an accident. She’s good about helping me keep myself safe from myself.
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