[felere] The beginning 1

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Felere
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat May 23, 2020 4:34 pm

[felere] The beginning 1

Post by Felere »

The beginning

My desire to be dominated originates way back to my childhood. I remember playing with some neighbor kids. We had constructed some huts from storage racks. And we made stories around it. I tried to convince the others to lock me up in a small box. Was it sexual? Not in the adult way. It was driven by desire. It definitely was a desire to be dominated.
As a young teenager I fantasized about being imprisoned by a woman who locked me to her vagina with my tongue. I still love to go oral on my wife. It’s a fulfillment of my dreams.
In my marriage everything went vanilla. We have had a relationship with up and downs for over 20 years. And I am happy to say that for the most part we had a good sexual relationship too.
Still, I always had my fantasies and my desires. I remember very clearly one occasion with my wife. We were standing in the bedroom and one way or another we talked about submission and she said that I should kneel for her in de laundry-basket. I have forgotten how it ended. But the remembrance made quite an impression on me.
Several years later I wrote two letters to her in which I expressed my desire for submission. The only thing I know is that she read them and laid them aside.
I reached the age of 50. I decided I did not want to continue in the same way. I decided I did not want to get old with my lady in this way. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good enough. I wanted more love, more passion, more life in our relationship.
One important step was reading the book of Sue Johnson, Hold me tight. Finally I could admit that it was o.k. not to be fully independent. It’s a myth. Everyone needs some sort of attachment to a loving person. My defenses could be lowered. When we started our relation we had severe up and downs. Breaking up and starting again. I remember that one day, we had broken up, I kneeled for her to kiss her. I surrendered to my inability to be on my own alone. I took that as a burden for many years. I had failed in being independent. The book of Sue Johnson learned me that I had not failed, but that I had surrendered to a basic need which opens the way to a mutual vulnerable relationship.
So I opened up to my wife, my dreams, my wishes, my love.
One of the things I revealed was my desire to be under her spell., I wanted to wear a cockring. I never wear a wedding ring, it irritates my fingers, I think it’s dangerous while doing hand jobs. I wanted a ring around my cock. So I told her I had ordered one and asked her if it would be all right for her to keep the key. We had some time before it arrived to adjust to the idea. I was allowed to wear it and hand over the key to her on our wedding day. It felt like heaven. I was in high spirits. Of course I had told her that she would be in charge. She wanted to go to a fashion show. She wouldn’t dare to ask me, but now she did.
1 x

Felere
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat May 23, 2020 4:34 pm

[felere] Bumps, crashes and trash 2

Post by Felere »

If you want to introduce chastity to your wife, a cockring might be a good alternative to a cockcage. It’s a ring…. It’s smaller and your private parts still show up. And in comparison with a cage you look like mister wonderful. My wife is very compliant. So when I suggested to wear a ring it wasn’t a too big step for her. The first day I felt like walking in heaven. The chemicals in your brains make you float all day long.
But quite some bumps came in our way. The first one was a great disappointment. Walking and being busy outside, the ring suddenly dropped out of my trousers. My illusion of being locked up was shattered. Of coarse I ordered a smaller one. Which had less inclination to fall down, but still it could happen.
Far more difficult were the clashes we had in our relationship. Following my fantasies and reading the stuff on the internet I had to discover that fantasy and reality do not match. Most of the stuff you find on the internet is fantasy and not reality-proof. For a chastity live-style it’s trash. Having no other information I dreamed that my wife – my always compliant wife – would take over control. Well she didn’t . I asked her to say what she wanted, I told her I would listen and comply to her wishes. It wasn’t suitable for her. So most of the time nothing happened. And when it happened I wasn’t prepared to it or it didn’t work out. My wife wanted me to go to bed with her at the same time. So I did. The only problem is, I need at least two hours less sleep than she does. She went to sleep, I was laying awake for hours. No fun, no interaction what so ever. We had to drop it after a while. Far more difficult were the crashes we had over topics in which I felt completely neglected. There Is a small snake in my whish to comply to her. It is that in the same time I want attention from her for what’s for me important. It’s the simple fact that I am not a slave and that we live a normal life together all day long. The clashes did hurt a lot. Several times I walked out of the house and wanted to throw away the ring. I didn’t. Each time again there was the desire inside me to go on, to find a way.
We had very positive experiences too. First of all for me the feeling to walk in heaven. The idea of enclosure and surrendering to my wife is a very sexy and very cozy feeling. On the other hand, when I was wearing the ring my wife felt more inner space to feel free to suggest things she wanted to do. That was a great gain for her. We went to a fashion show, we went shopping…., and we had a holiday and trips organized completely around places she wanted to visit.
We had hard times, we had good times. I wanted to continue into more. So one day, while she was lying in the bathtub I suggested to buy a complete chastity device, a cage. Being used to the ring and a little bit being used to my kinks she complied
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Excited+Scared1
Posts: 66
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2019 1:32 pm
Location: Uk Midlands
Last orgasm: February 8th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 6
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Re: [felere] The beginning 1

Post by Excited+Scared1 »

Where did you go Felere? I was enjoying reading about your journey!
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