[sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

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Muzzled Horndog
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Re: [sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

Post by Muzzled Horndog »

I agree with Schnoff. Your story doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. It sounds toxic. You should really seek out counseling for yourself. Everyone deserves to be with someone who they can share life with. I pray you find peace, contentment, and a great person to share life with.
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sklavenAJ
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Re: [sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

Post by sklavenAJ »

Thank you for that. :) I have been seeking and im grateful for polyamory. I have recently found a wonderful female and a really sexy male to share time with. Master and have been together almost a year. I knew he was a busy person going into this

We started with a particular goal im mind, bit that had ti change. It's what had changed the relationship I think. Time will tell.
Last edited by sklavenAJ on Fri Jan 31, 2020 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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sklavenAJ
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Re: [sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

Post by sklavenAJ »

I orgasmed last night. The stress became too much from family, work and love life. Once I did, I felt SO much better. I immediately told Master via text I knew he'd get in the am.

I decided to feel proud instead of ashamed. My first attempt last summer listed 2 weeks. This attempt lasted 26 days. No orgasm, no masturbation. The only edging came from my girlfriend twice and Master once. No stimulation by my own hands with ther sole exception of a few pulls to make spasming stop. The last 3 days I didn't touch at all. Most of that time i had no protocol, no service, no one to please.

All in all, today, ir was a good run, and im ready to tru 27 days. But this time I have stipulations. I can't ask for orgasm, it has ti be someone elses idea. NO masturbation, and I need someone to pleasure/hold at least once a week. I enjoyed the feeling I had before the wrinkle. I enjoyed knowing He had that power.

Master is a decent guy. Im a decent person. But I have my issues, iv tend to be intense and I need a bit more attention than most. Knowing this, I journal a lot and connect with others regularly. I do get emotional though. Master has issues too. He gets very focused on things and is a huge overachiever. This can take up a lot of his energy and time.

I am learning patience, and he is too. When wer are together, it iits amazing, fun and intense. When wer are not, it can also be good but I worry that life will get in the way.
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sklavenAJ
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Re: [sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

Post by sklavenAJ »

Master and I talked. It was incredible as wer both came to the literal table with our needs and wer both heard each other out. There was no dwelling on what should have been or could have been, though feelings on the issues were shared and I learned alot from that. We focused mainly on fixing our respective problems and helping each other communicate better in the future. Ive never been able to exercise collaboration in a relationship until Master came along. Now I have tools to use in other parts of my life. I also see what I've been missing, and that this type of communication is what ive needed all along! Ove watched others fight, get emotional and make up. I can't, I've tried. Emotional fights always lead me to feeling resentful and bitter which lasts well after the supposed forgiveness. I much rather express my emotions in an "indoor voice" even if there's a few tears and an "angry face", and find resolution in logical adjustments to someone elses needs and wants and have them do the same. It just makes so much more sense!!!

Things went swimmingly, and we played that night too. It was intimate, beautiful and intensely bonding. More on that later.

Im happy that we have agreed I only need to orgasm every 2 weeks, as Master felt that 3 was my breaking point right now. I'm positive and confident that wer wil build up my tolerance. And that I can only orgasm from stimulation brought by another person. One of 3 people, specifically. If I cannot see any of them at the two week mark, I may orgasm with permission via self masterbation.

In between those 14 days, I am only allowed my realistic dildo to feel sensation. I haven't had actual stimulation via a cock in 2 years. With ther exception of Masters "dick on a stick". Literally a big flexible dildo glued over the end of a shovel handle!!

I don't crave penile penetration, nor even remember what it feels like. I consider it at times. Esp. When it comes to my intimate friend, FR. In the past, i have had a lot of really bad experiences so it's a real mind fuck to isee a phallus on myself ay this point, especially knowing why Master chose that particular reason. Needless to say, Master read that right!! Lol his attention ti detail is fantastic and his confidence in mind fuckery is beautiful to observe. He haf another reason which He didn't care to share with me, and that makes it more interesting. I really dislike and am uncomfortable not knowing things!! He uses that against me often.

I tried to ou8t it in myself last night and not orgasm. That brought flashes of unwanted scenes and my desire for stimulation disappeared immediately. Did I mention Master is brilliant? Lol!

On Sunday isee my girlfriend and her (our) lover. I am looking forward to an evening wearing nothing but a strap on, and serving their desires!! They are both on board with this, so there's no talking them into letting me orgasm. Hehehe they really have fun teasing me and laughing about it. I LOVE it!
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sklavenAJ
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Re: [sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

Post by sklavenAJ »

Saturday night's play eas intense. Bonding and reaffirming. We started off on His couch as we sometimes do. He likes to chat about the things in bondage that wer both enjoy and it gets me hot. Plus being that close to Him, under His arm, so close to His heartbeat, His nipple, iits primal and safe. I ask to use the bathroom, but He says no. Then...grins! Oh no..

He finally said "iits time we went upstairs". He has a small extra room dedicated to kink. The metal eye bolts on the ceiling can hold a chain host for suspension and there's smaller plastic ones above the bed for enemas and iv bags. He had a small milking machine and an iv pole line ay the hospital in one corner, and a chair he converted into a padded bondage chair with a big hole in the padded seat. He also keeps a bucket with a seat on it, somewhere. Hidden away He has a cattle prod, a huge scary red box that he calls A tens unit but looks NOTHING like the unassuming white hand held device I have, and an assortment of hoods, masks, vac bed, sleep sack, catheters, rubber straps, clamps, etc...all packed neatly away, organized and labeled.. somewhere the naked eye can't see... in this little bedroom. It's like something out of a Chekhov novel!

He has me kneel best I can (with two really bad knees), palms up, head down. I am excited when I see the first yellow boot under my face! I kiss it appropriately, starting on the right of the toe and working to the left. Then the other one comes in front. I try hard not to grasp His foot. I'm always thankful for this ritual when He allows it. It centers me. I i6at up, and He sits facing me. I watch His face as He focuses on His task of putting a needle in each nipple, dead center, going straight in.
It doesn't "hurt", really, anymore. I gasp with desire as His sharp blue eyes bore straight into mine. Master is VERY calm and quietly tells me that I've waited patiently. That i need to serve (I must say here, that word "need" used to bring bad connotations with it) and I wait to serve because I must. He understands me. He does get it, sometimes I forget that. Hell, I usually forget that. I'm still not used to someone really understanding how I feel and why. He does, though that focus can get buried in stuff like happens to all of us.

Master pushes the 18g sterile hypodermic needles into my nipples, grinding them in and I moan. I'm not allowed to cum at this point, though I easily could just from this. He grins and licks His lips. He moans at my whimpers which cause my eyes to roll back in ecstasy..I love hearing His pleasure.. and love that He knows how to show me He's with me.

He pulls me in tight to his chest, pushing the needles in with His weight and kisses me deeply, his teeth searching out my tongue and bottom lip. He bites hard and where I used to whimper and pull back, now I search for that and lean into the pain though I still whimper. The needles dig into me as He bites...I almost orgasm again but He stops dead and pulls back before I do. He can tell when my heart rate increases by my breathing and the diameter of my irises. He cares enough to pay attention.

He then has me sit on the floor on a hospital chuck (I'm naked by this point) and He sits facing me, only His boxers on. He has me scoot closer, and drape my legs over his, exposing my sex up close and personal. It's a point of humiliation as He looks at me with a serious cold face and tells me. "I can smell you." I've always disliked anything to do with what's between my legs, thigh out quirks very well and brings pleasure... sometimes.

He has me lay back and I tell Him I STILL have to pee. He responds, "that's right, you did mention that. Whoops. Seems your a bit busy at the moment slave". Then I feel pressure on my hood (from this point on I'll describe my parts with their Male counterparts) and the sharp sting of a needle! I gasp and whimper but I don't move despite not being restrained. He reminds me to take deep breaths and I do. The pain is bad, but instantly I'm grateful that He is taking baby steps.

Then a SECOND needle on the other side of my foreskin!! It's intense but by this point I feel like I'm on the edge of a continuous orgasm. I breathe deeply and evenly, moaning and whimpering! (Mind you I orgasmed without permission 3 or 4 days prior to this, and before that, had been about 3 weeks. I was due to be sensitive)

Then a very long pause. Minutes stretch out and time crawls there on the edge of almost cumming.. then, activity! I'm still on my back, I dare not move nor Lift my head. It just doesn't occur to me to do so. Master has instilled obedience so very well. I feel a sensation unlike anything I've ever felt in my cock. Its the tens unit that He's hooked up to the needles (Disclaimer, Master is a professional. He has been using electricity for kink and work for 23 years. He doesn't do anything to me that He hasn't done to Himself)!

Wave after wave of sensations hit me. It slowly gets turned up, and it feels like a sharp tack pricking my prick. Then He touches me. His hands glide over my shaking body calming me but when He grabs my waist. The pricking in my prick turns into a pinch! The harder He grips me the hardest the pinching feeling in my cock. He has a special glove that connects to His tens, it conducts electricity VERY well without hurting the wearer.

He continues like this, reminding me how much I crave His touch. I moan, turned on but nervous as Master is a true sadist. He tempers it with sensuality, but I feel iits deeper than that. With that thought, I start to writhe as the pressure to orgasm through the pinching and tingling builds. Master stops when I wet a little after He grabs me particularly hard. He chuckles, telling me that just made it more conductive. He proves His point by brushing my labia with one finger. Causing my cock to feel like it's surrounded by static electricity! I squirm involuntarily and end up making it hurt worse which makes Him laugh as He pulls away.

He turns it off, I think, and we focus on my having to pee. Humiliation is our game, and it makes me really hot. I get stage fright, but He finds a way to blend orgasm with my need to urinate. Ugh!!!I beg Him not to do this. I tell Him I feel shamed (note: I only need to say yellow, and He'd stop) which only makes Him laugh. I orgasm as it happens...and there's nothing I can do once I'm "going", to stop it!

He fists me as my bladder empties. Need I say more? I cum like that, laying there...i bet you can picture it! That too, is humiliating. Master, sitting opposite my private parts, watching everything, making this happen to me, grinning and wiping precum off that glorious cock...I'm more humbled than humiliated, I suppose.

Soon Master takes the needles out carefully from my nipples and foreskin. I thank him for not putting it through my clit and He says, "baby steps dear. Baby steps" in His soft spoken tenor..He sits on the edge of the bed and beckons me to sit between His feet. A condom is on His dick, but that means nothing. He likes the feeling of the latex. I am grateful to Lay my head on His leg as He plays with Himself. But this time He has a thick, heavy cock ring on. He motions me closer and without saying a word, He nods, the silent permission to put the cock that's brushing my cheek, in my mouth! This is a rare treat! Usually Master has me lie at His side, or has me watch Him from a humiliating predicament as He strokes Himself.

I take it deep in. Master is average length but has girth. He uses His hands on the sides of my head to hold me in place. And instructs me to play with His nipples. With my hands in the air, sitting with my legs straight out under the bed I am at His mercy, as usual! He plays with my face like that for a while, then tells me to bring the case with the straps. I see it nearby and just reach over to grab it. There's a strap in it He wants so I give it to Him. I think maybe Hes strapping my hands to His chest? No!

Master circles the strap around my head and pulls on it, shoving my mouth deep over His cock. He thrusts hard, pushing condom covered dick down my throat til it fills! Ive never felt anything similar, and I'm shocked at first. We"ve talked about this, I've watched the porn video of this, but never thought about being in the position, myself! Master let's up a little, letting me breathe and it sounds wet, still with His prick in my mouth. Drool forms by the corners of my mouth, serving tohumble me further. He fucks my face again till I struggle to breathe then let's up. After doing this a few times, I'm in a frenzy! I struggle to shove my throat over Him and He chuckles right before giving me what seem to want. A throat full of cock and latex, rubbed raw and foamy. At some point He stops and uses two surgical clamps. The kind that have rubber padding and really bite down? Those...He stares deep and steadily into my eyes as He puts them on Himself and clamps it! The look in His eyes makes my blood run cold and I cum a little, drool still dripping from my mouth. He can detach, when He wants to. He readjusts the condom and takes the clamps off, putting one on my thick, hard nipple. I can't take but just a fraction of the pressure I knew He took (cause I felt them close down on my nipples before) because of the needles that went in.

He instructs me to again play with His nipples, and belts my head. This time he leans back, using the belt for leverage as to not fully lay down. I just keep my mouth open, His dick filling my throat more and more with each thrust. I struggle to breathe, my head is screaming how much I need this. My body is crying with gratefulness that I can be present in the moment and not think about past issues. Im exactly where I want to be! Master cums, hard. Talking dirty to me and letting out an uncharacteristic guttural yell! I feel the energy, and I climax mentally and emotionally... not carring about my physical need to even breathe, much less cum.

The condom comes off in my mouth, and I user my tongue to suck out all His cum. He laughs as I hold the condom above my head and squeeze every last drop out of it shamelessly. He says, "I was going to do that but you took it off!".

We lay in the bed together after I clean up a little. It's late and I'm sleepy. I never have been able to fall asleep well next to someone...but I drift in and out of sleep lying next to Master. It feels so good, so right and peaceful! It feels the way I've heard a relationship can be- but until Master Never experienced.

He drives me home after a long while. We may not play again for several weeks t6i a month. He also has a significant live in partner, who takes time too. Sometimes I become insecure, but not nearly as often as I used to get. He said a year ago when we met, there was a good chance He could fix the issues that bother me the most. I didn't believe Him and was slightly offended at the cocky attitude. Now that I've gotten ti know Him, I know He says nothing that He can't back up.

Until Saturday night, I always blacked out, panicked or disassociated when a cock came near my mouth. This time I was present, fully aware, and loved every. Fucking. Minute. The sensations He gives me override any previous traumas.
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sklavenAJ
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Re: [sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

Post by sklavenAJ »

Ive taken a big leap lately. I bought two molded plastic field boxes and two heavy brass locks, each individually keyed. Since my cock is too small to lock up, and I really only get off with toys Master aaand I have decided to take them away. Though He did allow me to use a realistic dildo (which fucks with my head), doesn't vibrate or electrify or do anything nice, just hangs out.

My GF is permitted to make me cum whenever and however she wants, but I'm only allowed to masturbate every two weeks, and ONLY if no one is available to facilitate that.

The temptation to use my toys is getting harder. Ive cum a tiny bit with Master and GF, but nothing proper in over a month.

Si until further notice, I have to lock my tits away. The box should be here tomorrow. Master didn't answer me right away as to whether He wanted the keys or not. Finally yesterday He said maybe it should be locks He's purchased, to ensure I don't have a key. I wanted to ask Him to do that, but was afraid it would be an imposition. I am so excited that He suggested that!! I offered the locks I bought, anyways (cause I had already bought them). I was hoping for GF to have a set and I could be6ing my box to her house to play with.. but that doesn't look like an option. I'm completely fine with that!

Either Master said He'd do this cause I asked Him twice (the 1st time I didn't get an answer for several days) or because He's sadistically curious how iit wil fuck with my head. Or a mix of both.

Thirs is a huge step. I won't have the option to use them. The choice is being taken away and im no longer in control of this! It's very real, suddenly. I'm gonna see Master on Thursday. I'll nre given reassurance that He is invested. I do get a bit unsettled and insecure when I take steps deeper into slavehood. I think He's starting ti see that and notice that I'm ok in time. But each step is a huge matter of trusting that He's fully invested and not just able, or willing, but BOTH
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sklavenAJ
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Re: [sklavenAJ] a new year and a new hope

Post by sklavenAJ »

I'm nervous. I will be giving Master the option of keeping the keys to the lock boxes I bought for my toys. It's been under mut control in many ways si far, and I've done alright. If He takes control, I know there's no way I can cheat, no saftey net that if it gets to be "too much", I can just tell Him and use them... aaand this is intimidating.

Add intimidating as it seems, I will adul give Him the option. If He takes it, I will have that sinking feeling of surrender. Of knowing I can't wheedle out cause He doesn't give in. He will not deal with whining, He'll just give control back to me and to me that's a punishment.

On another hand, I have anxiety and worry. I wonder how long I'll go without using toys. He said I could masturbate every 14 days, He never said how. Maybe I never see my toys again! Oh no....I w I nder if He'll care about this. I wonder if He'll just do it cause I want it. That defeats the whole purpose...if it was just cause i want it, then i could keep the keys myself and play that game on my own.....

I'm seeing g Him tonight. I'm supposed to be able to cum saturday. If He locks the boxes tonight, i can't cum cause i need toys to do that. and He's out of town this weekend. Oh boy.

I will wait for Him, I'll go through with this cause I have to. It's a part of me. Ita a choice, yes but one I really am driven to give to Him. I wish I understood more about why.
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