How we got here
The starting point:
Together for 20 years, a bunch of kids were had. Sex life was getting routine, stressful job diminished the remaining libido. Neither of us was content with the situation. We had already discovered that when we didn’t have sex for a a longer period, say two weeks, it was super intense and hot, but we didn’t want to only have sex every other week.
Me having a habit of indulging in porn and masturbating quite frequently didn’t help, either. However I had already found ruined orgasms through browsing for various kinks in porn (back then robandjill.com was still around) and was experimenting with that on my own ever since. I had also stumbled over Thumper’s blog back then and have loosely followed it over the years.
In fall ‘18, both realizing the need for some change, any change, I brought up the idea of chastity, ruined orgasm and the effects it brings in terms if reducing horniness less. The list of purported changes was impressive and so She was willing to give it a try and surprisingly quickly mastered the concept of properly ruining it.
So ten years after first finding out about it, the right moment in time and in our relationship came so that a longtime fantasy could become reality.
I looked for further guidance on the net, but most pages were impractical fantasy bullshit, like a six week program to become chaste (only based on wearing a device for certain hours and if you fail one of the steps you have to start over) or raced straight past chastity into sissification and cuckoldry. So with limited guidance we decided to play by ear and experiment.
We had quickly substituted full orgasms for minimized ones and I was actively asking to not let her have me have a full orgasm and ruin it instead She went with it, reaping the benefits of an always-on husband that started to be more attentive and make compliments (funny how this really works). I was very quickly down to one full blown orgasm every three months with all the other opportunities to cum ruined, which was still a generous thing 2-3 times a week.
But I was hungry for more of that sweet frustration. I had read that the typical next step is to also take away the ruined orgasms and to just give a teasing handjob ending the night in frustration. I brought it up and even that progression (a good half year into it) went much smoother that anticipated, with both of us getting a kick out of it. Now I get to have all the sex, but no orgasm. I am currently in my third week and we’ll just see how it goes.
She loves to be penetrated though and I fuck her eagerly, frustrated as I am, but I have the feeling that this is too much enjoyment, much more fun than I deserve! I even feel that way about full satisfying strokes during handjobs: Rather just caress the tip or massage that balls., always surfing the feeling of frustration when you want more and maybe you might get a quick peek, before it goes away again. Funny how one can relentlessly pursue to have ones own sexual fun restricted. But it makes it so
much more exciting. Rarity makes you value things more than abundance.
In the light of this I scoured the internet for sex restrictions placed on husbands and found basically nothing. Among the barely usable hints was a long thread on those for cuckolds on a hotwife forum. I read them to see which one gets me particularly excited. The whole less P to even going entirely P free thing resonated with me. But the “I wank to her making out with someone else” did nothing. We both feel strongly that I carry her dick and only she gets to play with it (not me).
How to square the equation with ‘her dick’ and ‘P free’ is challenging, though.
We had tried an Oxball penis sleeve, a dildo, layers of condoms and delay cream, to provide her pleasure without me getting much, but she said it just didn’t feel like the real thing and she still preferred my bareback cock.
Having gotten some helpful pointers from this very forum, it is time for us to continue our experiments. Stay tuned for updates.
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