[Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

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Steve2059
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[Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Post by Steve2059 » Fri Jan 04, 2019 7:47 am

This is my story over the last 18 months or so since I discovered chastity was a thing, and also the thing that I've been waiting for and the thing that ties several kinks and fetishes nicely together in one kinky package. It's also the story of my wife's journey, as She learned to stop worrying and love the power.

Since I'm starting from the beginning I'll break things up into chapters on this forum.

To start, I've always been kinkier than my wife, although most properly kinky folk would have called us both vanilla. I've always liked a bit of bum play and a bit of bondage, enjoy thongs and hosiery, and have had a thing for many years for shaving my pubes.

Over the course of thirty-odd years our sex life had grown into a comfortable and predictable experience, generally on a weekly basis, and this had been the case for many years.

Around May/June 2017, surfing around soft porn one evening, I came across edging. This interested me because it was something I thought I'd invented (though 20 mins was my max denial) and was surprised to find out it was a whole kink to itself (which says much about my naivety).

After a couple of weeks on a site called Edgemeplease I was again surfing and, looking for a JOI video, came across a chastity site, probably Male Chastity Lifestyle, and was astounded to find that people, usually men of a certain age (mine), got off on not orgasming and handing sexual power to their significant others.

Because it involved a lot of stuff that was new to me, like locking up our cocks, and extreme stuff I would never be into such as cuckolding or sissyfication, it took a little while for the idea to take hold that this might be a long-term thing I could get into. The other reason it didn't immediately appeal was that I already regularly went a week or more without orgasms, which wasn't an erotic experience at all.
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Steve2059
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Re: (Steve2059) Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Post by Steve2059 » Fri Jan 04, 2019 8:06 am

Chapter 2

As the idea of chastity and orgasm denial took hold, one huge issue would be getting my wife on board. She seemed content with things as they were, and accepted rather than welcomed my kinks and fetishes on the rare occasions I brought them into the bedroom. She had never shown an interest in taking a sexual lead (to my disappointment) and didn't find talking about sex easy.

To begin with I shared my recent predilection with edging, which She found plain weird (which wasn't a good start). Ploughing on nevertheless I shared with her my desire for me to take a subservient role within our sex life, including being made to wear "frillies", "forced" to perform acts upon her without receiving sex in return, and that I be "forced" to give up before I orgasmed.

This went down like a lead balloon: She was desperately uncomfortable in the role and I, in turn, became very frustrated and unhappy She wasn't at least trying. We got to a point where I was "topping from the bottom", suggesting things she could command me to do and asking her to summon up imagination and strictness.

We got to the point where we pretty much stopped communicating: it was bad. Then, in a reflective mood I came to the realisation that all this pressure was my fault and that I should apologise and give up the whole thing. Sure I would really like things to develop along a chastity route, but it wasn't worth the grief I was putting us both through.
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Steve2059
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Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Post by Steve2059 » Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:50 am

Chapter 3

While I was coming round to the conclusion that a chastity lifestyle wasn't going to happen to me, I was still surfing FLR and chastity websites, and came across a site called "Elise Sutton's Female Superiority Page". Ms Sutton has some weird ideas and theories about the innate superiority of women but, crucially, gives very sound advice to men trying to pursue the lifestyle. In particular, she holds that if a woman ( and I think this applies to any partner) is resisting a chastity/domination lifestyle change despite clear advantages to her, it must be the fault of the man. If this is true then it follows that the man needs to change his own behaviour rather than try to modify his wife's, and in particular he needs to buckle down to a voluntarily subservient role so that his wife can see for herself it's something that is A Good Thing.

While I might take minor issues with Ms Sutton's advice I did clearly see that I was putting intolerable pressure on my wife to take on a role with which she was uncomfortable, and that Ms S would strongly say that it was I that had to change. I thought it was worth a go.

I gave things careful thought and wrote down my eventual proposal so that my wife could peruse it at her leisure once we had talked. Our conversation began with a heartfelt apology from me, followed with an honest telling of what my needs were in terms of chastity/denial/subservience.

I then came to my plan of action, which basically was that I would act out a lifestyle as if she was compelling me, but I would, in fact, be doing it to myself. This would involve denial, edging, lingerie and challenges, but would be instantly overruled whenever she said so, for instance if he wanted sex in mid-challenge. She was happy for this to happen, but was strong in Her opinion she didn't wish to become some sort of Domme.

Putting some flesh on my proposals, I said that I had designed challenges so that they could be decided by dice, both the challenges themselves and their duration. She replied that She would be happy to throw (or tap the iPad) dice and then to keep an eye on progress. When I showed Her the challenges she was amused and intrigued that these included performing household chores naked, such as vacuuming, ironing and changing bed linen. Why, She asked, didn't I just do these permanently and save Her a lot of work, and added another suggestion of clearing away dinner naked also.

That was the last shirt she ironed.
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Steve2059
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Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Post by Steve2059 » Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:24 am

Chapter 4

At his point my chastity was honour system - I had mentioned that chastity cages existed but She hated the very idea. I was though really having a good time. My chores consisted of ironing everything I wear plus her jeans, napkins and bed linen, vacuuming the entire house, and clearing away and cleaning the kitchen after our evening meal. All these required me to be naked, unless I was in a lacy thong she liked. At night I wore a thong plus cuffs to prevent me touching myself in my sleep.

One day we were off work together and decided on a whim to pop up to bed for a while in the afternoon. It was just for a cuddle, very pleasant nevertheless, and gave me an idea. Why, I asked, did we not make time daily for a cuddle? She was very enthusiastic - so long as I promised not to "pester". I pointed out - again! - that the way to ensure that was to order me not to. This has now been a daily event for more than a year, and it develops or not according to how She's feeling.

But by Autumn 2017 I really hankered after a cage. Despite Her opposition I sent off for a Chinese stainless steel affair and decided to surprise Her with it that night. She screamed when she accidentally touched it, throwing back the duvet. I thought She might very well order its removal there and then, but after a bit of inspection, she decided it wasn't as bad as She'd feared, so She had me keep it on overnight instead of knickers/cuffs.

It was probably the worst night's sleep I've ever had: The ring, a hinged affair, kept trapping skin, and after eventually nodding off I then awoke to an agonising stiffy that lasted an hour. I was close to calling the whole thing off. The next day I wore it for a few hours and again suffered extreme discomfort.

A bit of research - which I ought to have done before - told me I'd chosen badly. Hinges were not good while, mindful of circulation, I'd bought a cage far too big.

So cage #2 was a short Holy Trainer. This was far more comfortable but, as I wore it for more extended times, showed issues. The main one was hygiene; in particular a tendency to leak a bit of pee after I was convinced I'd gotten everything clean.

On to cage #3 then, another Chinese affair, very short but not micro, a good solid ring and banded to allow for cleaning and for skin to breathe. A year on it's so comfy It's still my cage of choice and the one I wore a couple of months ago for NOvember.
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CanuckInNJ
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Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Post by CanuckInNJ » Wed Jan 09, 2019 3:27 pm

I've actually opted for hinges. I can't stand stuffing my bits through a ring that always seems too small for the job. The hinged ones now come with rubber tubing that you slide over the hinge, and the pinching problem is solved.
Could you send a link to the device that you mention as your one of choice (the one you chose for NOvember)?
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Steve2059
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Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Post by Steve2059 » Thu Jan 17, 2019 7:56 am

CanuckInNJ wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 3:27 pm
I've actually opted for hinges. I can't stand stuffing my bits through a ring that always seems too small for the job. The hinged ones now come with rubber tubing that you slide over the hinge, and the pinching problem is solved.
Could you send a link to the device that you mention as your one of choice (the one you chose for NOvember)?
This is my current device: https://www.houseofdenial.com/collectio ... el-hod-s77

I do agree with you about the ring-stuffing, I have to tie the base of my scrotum tightly with a shoelace to get my ring on, but once in place it's very comfortable.
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Steve2059
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Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Post by Steve2059 » Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:28 am

Chapter 5

Her acceptance of my cage turned out to be a turning point in several ways. First was, by extension of this, Her acceptance of, and then support for, my chastity kink. I ought to have mentioned something earlier in the story, which was while all this was going on I was steadily losing weight through dieting, reducing from morbidly obese to mildly overweight over a year. She thought, and I think she's right, that my self-image improved due to the weight loss which led to my having the courage to bring out these sexual aspects of my character, so everything was interlinked.

She was also growing into the role of being in charge. The dice and the written challenges eventually discontinued (though she did ask for ideas for 2019 orders, which I provided) as she began to keep me locked for longer periods, from overnights to 24 and 48 hours, and eventually a record of 11 days, which stood until NOvember. She also decided she quite liked me in knickers, to the point around six months ago She removed all my male underwear from my drawers, leaving me full-time in lace panties, thongs and hosiery (this is a particular fetish and in no way a journey to cross-dressing or sissification).

But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. around Xmas 2017 I asked for challenges for 2018, and in particular some challenging T&D. First, she wanted to be assured that all my naked chores would continue, as would our daily cuddle times. As ever I reminded her that I was seriously into submission and all she needed to do was to decree that it should be so (even today she doesn't quite realise the power she has should she decide to wield it). So after discussion we decided that I would spend much more time caged, including out with friends and at work, and She would keep the key. Also, we would work towards a full orgasm-free year for me though not at any cost to her sex life. Our plan was that we would have set dates throughout the year where I could decide I'd had enough, but once a date had passed I would have to wait until the next one before "letting go". In addition I would continue to be fully shaved around the genitals and bum, with no stubble ever. Masturbation would be entirely prohibited except under supervision with, of course, no orgasms.
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