[Naljeans] Back in - relief

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Naljeans
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[Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:18 am

My Goddess and KH took me out of my device on Wednesday, due to some skin abrasions from going to a ring that’s too small. That’s another story (getting a Contender soon.) Her instructions were to remain chaste but practice daily using my ass (also another story.)

The skin healed yesterday but I didn’t suggest going back in. I’ve learned that she normally has her own plan on me being caged or not. So yesterday and today, after healing, I still enjoyed full freedom and wondered when it would end. It ended tonight. “You’re healed, back in now.”

After a few days uncaged, I figured I’d love the ability to get hard. Just being aroused and having that feeling. To not have to deal with maintenance. But no. I’ve been off the last two days. Just off kilter. Definitely liked actually seeing and feeling myself. But I felt...unfulfilled? Like, ok there’s a boner, now what?

Cage went back on, however I’ll-fitting it is, and within 2 hours I feel at peace again. This isn’t some horny fantasy. I feel right again. Centered is the popular word, I think.

I’m only a few months into this journey, but this was eye-opening. Maybe this really is simply how it should be. How I’m meant to be.

Thumper had a great blog about that - don’t endure, accept.

I know I’ll wake up in some varying degree of frustration, and I can’t wait. I never thought I’d get here.
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Naljeans
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:47 pm

Another unexpected result - panties. It started innocently enough with a Victoria’s Secret shopping trip for my Goddess. She insisted I buy a pair for me - “just for play,” she said. Neither of us are particularly into cross dressing, but she intimated that I fill them out well, and she likes how they look.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I mentioned that my lock was audibly clicking, especially at the gym. A few days later, she had me select 10 pairs of her old (bigger) panties. “Problem solved, you’re not wearing men’s underwear anymore. Panties only unless I give permission.” It was exceedingly awkward for a few days. She inquired about fit, and preferences, on and on. Panty talk. It was humiliating yet I loved it.

The thing is, the panties really do work better physically with the cage. They’re also a fairly constant and comforting reminder of being owned.

I was back in boxer briefs for a few days, while the abrasion healed. Once healed and caged, it was back to the panties too. It’s strange how they don’t feel particularly erotic or even embarrassing. They just fit, physically and mentally.

Ultimately I think this all has less to do with garments and more about pleasing my Goddess. But they really do work better. Ha
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CagedKC
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by CagedKC » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:26 pm

I agree, locked 24/7 since July and I hate being left out after sex, for a medical visit, etc. I always yearn to be relocked. My wife told me to take a break for a few days because my scrotum was tender from laser hair removal last week. I did, but the next morning I started masturbating when she left for work. I was able to stop and lock up. I felt bad about jacking off and so much better locked.
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Naljeans
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Fri Dec 21, 2018 5:03 pm

My Goddess asked me a few weeks ago “how would you feel if I told you I would be most satisfied if you never came again?” I was a bit terrified by the idea, and she assured me it was hypothetical. Fast forward a few weeks - now in a perfectly fitting Contender, and she brought it up again, in passing. I’ve thought about it more and confessed to her I was ok with that if she truly wants that to be our arrangement. She basically explained that she would milk me in the cage for health purposes but that would be my only release. Ever. “I would only remove the cage to clean you or hurt you.”

I don’t know if this will happen, but it’s starting to feel real. I’m shocked how at peace I am with that.
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happilylockedman
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by happilylockedman » Fri Dec 21, 2018 7:18 pm

My situation is different from some of you guys in that my being i chastity is much more my thing than my wife's. She is completely on board now because she understands its importance to me and sees how well it works for our relationship.

That said, she's not doing anything to push me further towards submissiveness. I wish she would but that's not happening and I don't think it's going to. I'm okay with that, though still a bit envious of relationships in which the woman takes a more assertive role than my wife does.

A month ago or so I was uncaged for a long time, maybe a month, because of a penis problem. In this situation she did take an active role, saying I was not to be caged until I was totally healed. I kept wanting to jump the gun, but she said no. When she finally agreed to my recaging I felt the same relief that you described, Naljeans.
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Naljeans
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Wed Dec 26, 2018 1:26 pm

Claustrophobia is creeping in....

I’m only a week and a half into this lock-up, yet the familiar moments of claustrophobia are back. That’s the best description I can conjure - a feeling of being trapped and powerless to escape it, and with no known end to it. Part of me enjoys this sensation, and the other part hates it. It’s maddening to never be able to get an erection and not know how long it will be. I realize I’m preaching to the choir on this. Ha.

My best guess is another week and a half at a minimum, and probably a month on the high end. I don’t think my Goddess is ready yet to make this truly permanent. I’m not sure I am either. I do think that’s where this is headed in 2019. Once I can reliably release from anal play only, I think my days of erections and relief will be over.

I think that knowledge makes the claustrophobia more intense, knowing that I have to accept it and that at some point, there will be no end.
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Naljeans
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Sat Dec 29, 2018 12:13 am

My Goddess basically told me that I’ll get out in a week and a half to play, which makes the total time 3 weeks. That’s our longest time and not uncaged for any reason (Contender is very easy to clean without removing.)

I’m surprised by how I’m feeling about this. While I sometimes want out pretty badly, I’m conflicted about being released. I don’t look forward to the sub drop, and don’t want to start back at day 0. I’ve read that it gets easier after 3-4 weeks and am curious about that. However, I think that time will arrive pretty soon. Also it’s very easy for me to say all this now, just shy of 2 weeks in.

I casually commented that I can’t believe the durations some of you guys stay locked. Her quizzical reaction spoke volumes. I don’t recall what she said, but the message seemed to be “ha, really? I guess you’ll find out.” Also that I seem to need getting out less with the custom MCN cage. She’s inordinately perceptive.

Anyway, that’s the latest. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
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Naljeans
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Sun Dec 30, 2018 9:50 am

Funny how feelings fluctuate over time. Selfish time - I want OUT. I want to feel an erection. To not feel neutered at all times. Just occasionally be able to shift and adjust myself. To simply stand to pee without dreading the punishment that will follow.

Waking up cold this morning, it felt like i just had a useless baseball attached to my body, which isn’t entirely inaccurate. My Goddess certainly doesn’t need it, but thoroughly enjoys keeping it useless - which is a purpose of its own, I suppose. This line of thinking does imply that permanent chastity is an inevitability.

This is all basically whining. I’m where I need to be, where I belong. Accept, not endure.
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Naljeans
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Tue Jan 01, 2019 5:13 pm

Big swing in just two days. I confessed to my KH that I was getting into the stage where it doesn’t feel like I have a cock anymore. It’s hard to describe any better than that - like it’s just an appendage some fancy jewelry is locked onto.

Her reply was simply: “That’s wonderful news!”

Now I’m REALLY conflicted about possibly being released soon. So it goes.
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Naljeans
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Re: [Naljeans] Back in - relief

Post by Naljeans » Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:26 pm

For some reason, I was really struggling with being caged - just a few hours of struggle but I couldn’t think my way out of it. I sheepishly asked my KH for some encouragement- whether nice or mean - and she gave both. Just a few quick words, and my mind was at ease.

As time ticks by, it helps so much to know that this isn’t being done in a vacuum, and that fact she enjoys it validates it all.
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