[cshorts] My (our) journey

A place to blog about your thoughts and experiences
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Schnoff
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by Schnoff »

It might help to reframe this in your mind. This is orgasm control, not just orgasm denial. It’s her choice whether you get to come. She can be indulgent and deny you orgasm. Or she can indulge herself and have you come, because she wants that. If she wants you to come every time you have sex, then that’s what happens.

Your task is to trust that she is doing what she wants. If you give her control over your cock, she has control. What you deserve or don’t deserve is up to her. Within the consensual dynamic of the relationship of course.

Early on in our play, Bear might ask me, when he got me to come, whether I was disappointed. And I’d always say that no, I was grateful. Grateful because he plays the game with me, grateful because I do enjoy orgasm, and grateful because he controls my orgasm, which means I come when he wants me to, and don’t when he wants me to. And I might have felt an amount of frustration, depending on the moment, because I like being denied for longer periods - and I knew that I had to be relentlessly positive and express the true gratitude I hold, and keep any negative thoughts banned. They are not helpful to either of our enjoyment of the game.

By now he is confident in the game and has denied me orgasm for 10 months and counting, out of his desire to indulge me. I had him reassure me a few times that he wasn’t missing anything. If he felt at all deprived of my orgasm, the game would lose its point for me. I told him I am grateful for the extended period of denial, and that I will come whenever he wants me to, on a whim or otherwise, and will be grateful for that, as well.

I’m sure I’m telling you what you already know. Maybe it helps seeing it written out by someone else.

All the best to both of you!
2 x
Schnoff
My orgasm denial blog
Tango tangor ergo sum.

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cshorts
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Thanks @Schnoff. Very well said. That’s definitely the attitude I’ve been working on, and often I’m there. Recently I’ve been struggling, perhaps because I feel a bit ignored (“orgasm denial is not sexual denial”), perhaps because of all the other life stresses in this crazy time. Thanks for the good advice and the empathy.
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In chastity since: 3 October 2018

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cshorts
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Last night SL told me that today she was going to uncage me, we would have intercourse, I was to have an orgasm, and no back talk.

This morning when she learned I'd only gotten 4 hours of sleep she told me she didn't want me to feel any performance pressure, I didn't have to cum. But I did, like a good boy. No sacrifice too large to serve my Domme.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

The ping-pong (in my emotions) continues. This is similar to my March 24th (23rd) post.

Frustrating morning here. I'm generally on edge these days, so probably not being fair, but for all of the good things, I'm really getting frustrated with how selfish (thoughtless?) SL seems to be. For our Sunday morning routine, I get up 90 minutes before her to shower, shave etc., then make her breakfast in bed. After the breakfast, I usually give her a 60+ minute footrub (today being "usual"). Then I shaved her pussy for her. Then we start fooling around. How that proceeds varies, but today was typical of about half the times in the past six months, I think: she spent a grand total of about five minutes teasing me, and otherwise (another 30-45 minutes) was me bringing her to multiple Os. And the five minutes are usually it for the week -- I go down on her maybe five other times during the week, but that never involves touching me. I don't want it to be quid pro quo (and the fact that it clearly isn't has definitely let her enjoy sex more and more often), but I do want more attention just because she loves me and I crave the physical stimulation. Sigh.
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cshorts
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Very exciting, unusual morning for me.

Started out mostly routine: I got up earlyish to prepare. Shower, shave. Then prepared breakfast, to serve in bed. The only hint today might be different was that SL asked me to make her biscuits with butter and jam for breakfast, rather than the usual oatmeal. After we ate breakfast, listening to sexy folk tunes, I gave her the now standard long Sunday foot rub. As usual, she read while I listed to erotica on Audible.

I then returned to her side and we started making out. After a few minutes of kissing, she started in on my nipples. Tweaking and biting them until I had to bite down on her pillow to muffle my cries. Next, she nudged me to roll on my stomach. She straddled me and from somewhere pulled out the crop and started beating my ass, at times more aggressively than she ever has before. She still didn't find my limit, but the pleasurable pain was intense, and I began heading into a space I hadn't visited before. She then started randomly striking other areas: my shoulders, outer thighs, inner thighs. Not as ferociously ... I think she was probably nervous. But not so nervous that she didn’t start toying with my balls and caged cock, first some strokes, increasing to some taps on the balls -- nothing that caused pain, but enough to generate a very pleasurable sensation. At various times during this she used her other hand to stroke my cock through the bars of the cage, working me up into quite a state of arousal.

She paused for a moment. I used the time to catch my breath and slow my heart rate, still face down in her pillow so I couldn’t see what she was doing. But then I heard the distinctive sound of a glove going on, and shortly after she was lubing me up. SL then proceeded to finger fuck me, more vigorously than I remember in the few times she’s done this before. With her other hand she sometimes used the crop again, especially harshly on my ass, alternating with teasing my caged cock. I was now roaring with pleasure and desire, thrusting hard back against her penetrating finger(s? not sure if it was 1 or 2). I don’t think she consciously found my prostate, but it was definitely getting rubbed some of the time, and I was starting to feel more engorged, straining against the cage bars, and starting to feel like an orgasm might be approaching. After a fair bit of this, with me coming out of the ecstatic haze now and then just to wish that she had a ball gag for me (rather than my chewing on her pillow!), she slowed and stopped. I collapsed, she moved up alongside me. I started to turn towards her but she pushed me down again, so I lay there catching my breath, becoming aware of a very dry mouth, and luxuriating in the pulsing throb of my cock, wanting to much to get erect and cum, and the sensation of heat in my ass cheeks. After a while she let me roll towards her and we tangled our arms and legs and cuddled. I started to lick her nipple, but she stopped me. I slid my hand towards her pussy lips, but she again stopped me, told me she was in charge and to not do anything. I was puzzled -- *she’s* not into orgasm denial -- but she’s the boss so I just held her and eventually started to doze until she got up to shower.
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cshorts
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

SL gave me quite a joyride this morning, perhaps in response to our conversation a couple of weeks when I acknowledged that I was feeling somewhat neglected. Tl;dr version: she uncaged me, raised the intensity of her nipple torture technique, went down on me longer than normal, climbed on top and used her wand to edge me, then rode me herself, then flipped us over for the grand finale, re-applying intense nipple torture after giving me “permission”. I nearly passed out after my O, more physically and emotionally drained than I’ve been in a long time. (From her yelling I think it worked out pretty well for her too 🙂)

First orgasm in 42 days.
RESTART
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