[cshorts] My (our) journey

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Schnoff
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by Schnoff »

It might help to reframe this in your mind. This is orgasm control, not just orgasm denial. It’s her choice whether you get to come. She can be indulgent and deny you orgasm. Or she can indulge herself and have you come, because she wants that. If she wants you to come every time you have sex, then that’s what happens.

Your task is to trust that she is doing what she wants. If you give her control over your cock, she has control. What you deserve or don’t deserve is up to her. Within the consensual dynamic of the relationship of course.

Early on in our play, Bear might ask me, when he got me to come, whether I was disappointed. And I’d always say that no, I was grateful. Grateful because he plays the game with me, grateful because I do enjoy orgasm, and grateful because he controls my orgasm, which means I come when he wants me to, and don’t when he wants me to. And I might have felt an amount of frustration, depending on the moment, because I like being denied for longer periods - and I knew that I had to be relentlessly positive and express the true gratitude I hold, and keep any negative thoughts banned. They are not helpful to either of our enjoyment of the game.

By now he is confident in the game and has denied me orgasm for 10 months and counting, out of his desire to indulge me. I had him reassure me a few times that he wasn’t missing anything. If he felt at all deprived of my orgasm, the game would lose its point for me. I told him I am grateful for the extended period of denial, and that I will come whenever he wants me to, on a whim or otherwise, and will be grateful for that, as well.

I’m sure I’m telling you what you already know. Maybe it helps seeing it written out by someone else.

All the best to both of you!
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cshorts
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Thanks @Schnoff. Very well said. That’s definitely the attitude I’ve been working on, and often I’m there. Recently I’ve been struggling, perhaps because I feel a bit ignored (“orgasm denial is not sexual denial”), perhaps because of all the other life stresses in this crazy time. Thanks for the good advice and the empathy.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Last night SL told me that today she was going to uncage me, we would have intercourse, I was to have an orgasm, and no back talk.

This morning when she learned I'd only gotten 4 hours of sleep she told me she didn't want me to feel any performance pressure, I didn't have to cum. But I did, like a good boy. No sacrifice too large to serve my Domme.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

The ping-pong (in my emotions) continues. This is similar to my March 24th (23rd) post.

Frustrating morning here. I'm generally on edge these days, so probably not being fair, but for all of the good things, I'm really getting frustrated with how selfish (thoughtless?) SL seems to be. For our Sunday morning routine, I get up 90 minutes before her to shower, shave etc., then make her breakfast in bed. After the breakfast, I usually give her a 60+ minute footrub (today being "usual"). Then I shaved her pussy for her. Then we start fooling around. How that proceeds varies, but today was typical of about half the times in the past six months, I think: she spent a grand total of about five minutes teasing me, and otherwise (another 30-45 minutes) was me bringing her to multiple Os. And the five minutes are usually it for the week -- I go down on her maybe five other times during the week, but that never involves touching me. I don't want it to be quid pro quo (and the fact that it clearly isn't has definitely let her enjoy sex more and more often), but I do want more attention just because she loves me and I crave the physical stimulation. Sigh.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Very exciting, unusual morning for me.

Started out mostly routine: I got up earlyish to prepare. Shower, shave. Then prepared breakfast, to serve in bed. The only hint today might be different was that SL asked me to make her biscuits with butter and jam for breakfast, rather than the usual oatmeal. After we ate breakfast, listening to sexy folk tunes, I gave her the now standard long Sunday foot rub. As usual, she read while I listed to erotica on Audible.

I then returned to her side and we started making out. After a few minutes of kissing, she started in on my nipples. Tweaking and biting them until I had to bite down on her pillow to muffle my cries. Next, she nudged me to roll on my stomach. She straddled me and from somewhere pulled out the crop and started beating my ass, at times more aggressively than she ever has before. She still didn't find my limit, but the pleasurable pain was intense, and I began heading into a space I hadn't visited before. She then started randomly striking other areas: my shoulders, outer thighs, inner thighs. Not as ferociously ... I think she was probably nervous. But not so nervous that she didn’t start toying with my balls and caged cock, first some strokes, increasing to some taps on the balls -- nothing that caused pain, but enough to generate a very pleasurable sensation. At various times during this she used her other hand to stroke my cock through the bars of the cage, working me up into quite a state of arousal.

She paused for a moment. I used the time to catch my breath and slow my heart rate, still face down in her pillow so I couldn’t see what she was doing. But then I heard the distinctive sound of a glove going on, and shortly after she was lubing me up. SL then proceeded to finger fuck me, more vigorously than I remember in the few times she’s done this before. With her other hand she sometimes used the crop again, especially harshly on my ass, alternating with teasing my caged cock. I was now roaring with pleasure and desire, thrusting hard back against her penetrating finger(s? not sure if it was 1 or 2). I don’t think she consciously found my prostate, but it was definitely getting rubbed some of the time, and I was starting to feel more engorged, straining against the cage bars, and starting to feel like an orgasm might be approaching. After a fair bit of this, with me coming out of the ecstatic haze now and then just to wish that she had a ball gag for me (rather than my chewing on her pillow!), she slowed and stopped. I collapsed, she moved up alongside me. I started to turn towards her but she pushed me down again, so I lay there catching my breath, becoming aware of a very dry mouth, and luxuriating in the pulsing throb of my cock, wanting to much to get erect and cum, and the sensation of heat in my ass cheeks. After a while she let me roll towards her and we tangled our arms and legs and cuddled. I started to lick her nipple, but she stopped me. I slid my hand towards her pussy lips, but she again stopped me, told me she was in charge and to not do anything. I was puzzled -- *she’s* not into orgasm denial -- but she’s the boss so I just held her and eventually started to doze until she got up to shower.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

SL gave me quite a joyride this morning, perhaps in response to our conversation a couple of weeks when I acknowledged that I was feeling somewhat neglected. Tl;dr version: she uncaged me, raised the intensity of her nipple torture technique, went down on me longer than normal, climbed on top and used her wand to edge me, then rode me herself, then flipped us over for the grand finale, re-applying intense nipple torture after giving me “permission”. I nearly passed out after my O, more physically and emotionally drained than I’ve been in a long time. (From her yelling I think it worked out pretty well for her too 🙂)

First orgasm in 42 days.
RESTART
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Another lovely, long morning of loving play. After she had the breakfast I brought to bed, I asked if she wanted a foot rub (pretty much a weekly ritual now). "Yes, but during it I want to be thinking of you with a plug in your ass." I lubed up and in went my large Njoy plug. Then a long, thorough leg and foot rub, followed by using my foot cream-slick fingers to tease her SL cream-slick pussy lips a bit ... stopping when she started to tense. She can experience a bit of T&D too!

We intertwingled our naked bodies and started kissing and caressing, nibbling and moaning sweet nothings. Very gentle and sensuous, then wham! Without warning she bit down on my right nipple. Then took my nipple rounder in hand to use it to twist the nipple, and twist it some more, then stretch it, hard. I was no longer gently moaning: yelping, groaning, startled cries of (delicious) pain. Switching to my other nipple, ore exposed and raised by the new nipple shield I put on it yesterday, she brought me close to a nipplegasm, then, intentionally or not, paid me back by withdrawing, leaving me craving more. But before I could stop panting, she went down on my caged cock. Sucking and licking ... it was already swollen to its maximum caged size, flesh pushing out through the gaps in the bars, giving her plenty of hypersensitive surfaces to tease. And ... tease was all I got.

When she stopped, she looked me in the eye and said "I think second cock (her Vixskin) has been getting lonely" (it's been a few weeks since she last had me strap on. I hopped up and did so...while I did she grabbed her wand and got started without me (or second cock). I love watching her pleasure herself, but I knew my duty, lubed second cock and climbed on to join the fun. She rode Bob (her wand) and second cock hard, to at least two massive, bed-shuddering, window-shaking orgasms, the last one going on and on and on ... I kept expecting her to signal me to stop, but instead she grabbed my hair and yanked me In and out, so that second cock would continue to drill her, deeper than she usually likes him to go. Finally she gasped and collapsed, letting this seemingly endless O come to an end, leaving her panting, eyes rolled back in her head.

With some judicious cheek squeezing and the aid of a free hand when I was pumping especially fast, my plug stayed in, and is giving me pleasurable sensations as I lie here, swollen cock still pressing against its jail cell bars, writing these notes.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

It appears my SL heard me when I said I felt neglected, and she is slowly but steadily trying to do something about it.

This morning after her footrub, she gave me a back rub, then devoted a fair bit of attention to getting me hot and bothered, with nipple torture and an extended blowjob on my caged cock. Then after pleasuring her for a while with fingers, magic wand and mouth, she told me to strap on Second Cock, and had me fuck her for some time, to both our delight (though her delight, only, involved loud orgasms, several).

We lay entangled after, both of us a bit blown out and, and her satiated. Though I was, of course, still horny, I was very happy and except for a few spasms in my groin and involuntary thrusts into nowhere, I was content.

Then, to my total surprise, she told me to take off the harness and lie on my back. We almost never have any more play after she has multiple Os from penetration. But she got up, pulled a prostate vibrator from the drawer, and the boy butter lube, and proceeded to give me a very vigorous anal fuck. ("Pegging" when one gives an anal fuck with dildo in harness --do we have a word for anal fucking with a handheld dildo or vibrator?) It was terrific-- I was writhing and crying out in pleasure. I also leaked pre-cum copiously. What a wonderful surprise and thrilling experience.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Wow. Another amazing three-hour session. I changed up her footrub a bit by starting with a quick oral O -- "an amuse-bouche for my sweet", then, when changing from one side to the other, another. When we snuggled back together after the rub, I asked her to lie back and dangled a blindfold over her. But she insisted on first getting the key out of the lock box.

I then blindfolded her and continued reading a long very hot cuckolding story I've been reading to her over the past few months. I gently stroked her arms and breasts while I read, occasionally teasing her inner thighs, letting my fingers drift close but not touching her pussy. As SL and the story heated up, she blindly reached for her wand. I found a sensitive spot at her entrance (she gets some of her greatest excitement from pressure on the muscles just around the entrance to her vagina) while she went to town on her clit. One huge, shuddering O, but after just a few moments, rather than pushing my hand away, she welcomed it back. This time she got even more wild, thrashing around, then whoosh, she released and fluids just poured out, all over my hand and the bed. This has to be the most she's ever ejaculated - the bed is soaked.

After cuddling for a bit, she told me to roll on her back and to keep reading. She grabbed the lube and stroked my already hard cock (yes, somewhere earlier she had me take the cage off) until it was throbbing. Then lubed up my ass and gently slid in the prostate vibrator. Not so gentle anymore: she started pounding me while jerking my cock with her other hand.

"You have permission", she told me. But she used the (de-sensitizing) boy butter lube, and though I could feel tension building, i was also getting numb. The sensations in my ass were amazing -- she'd rub against the prostate in just the right way and I thought I'd erupt, but not quite. Talk about teasing denial!

After giving me a break for a moment she started in again. I grabbed her wand and started using it to stroke myself off. Finally, amazing fireworks! I'm surprised it took so long given it's been six weeks since she last let me cum, but every moment of buildup was so wonderful that I'm very grateful.

She definitely has been much more active and giving the past month or two, since our short talk. What a wonderful woman.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Post by cshorts »

Short report today, but a lovely long session. Proceeded in familiar fashion for most of it (breakfast in bed, 1 hour+ ftotrub, reading a cuckolding story to Janet while she played some with me then used her wand on herself, with help from my fingers inside and then “third cock” (her thrusting vibrator)).

After her fourth or fifth orgasm (each progressively bigger), we lay cuddling for a bit. Then, to my surprise, she got up and fetched the harness with vixskin. “What are we doing?” “I’m going to fuck you.” Thoroughly lubed up and lying on my back, she entered me missionary style and proceeded to rock my world. Pretty aggressive thrusting (the way I like it 🙂) and face-to-face looks of lust (though most of the time my eyes were closed as I headed off to space). She was having a bit of trouble keeping the dildo in me at that angle, requiring her to keep her hand on it to keep track and maintain penetration, so she had me play with my own cock (through the cage) for extra stimulation. I “came” twice -- no ejaculation but waves of orgasmic thrill followed by panting collapse.

Given how infrequent pegging has been in the past, and a certain squeamishness on her part (I think), I was struck by how matter of fact she was. We were able to easily discuss it afterwards, with no indication of discomfort. And she seemed to enjoy pleasuring me (and watching me receive). Breakthrough? The conversation included notes for “next time”.
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