[Finn] Reverse 80's porn

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Finn
Posts: 350
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:22 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

[Finn] Reverse 80's porn

Post by Finn » Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:50 am

That's how the whole chastity thing got started ror me/us. 26 years married, and early on, I discovered that my wife doesn't enjoy piv sex, after her orgasm. I'd be humping away, and she wasn't into it, and found it a bit uncomfortable. She always orgasm'd first, and I couldn't imagine not having it that way.

Like many guys on their 50's, my early sex education was watching porn from the 80's. In those films, sex was always when the guy wanted, how the guy wanted, and about the guys pleasure. He'd go at it, the woman moaning away, but the sex was about him getting off. She was just along for the ride. He's get close, they'd be right into it....guy cums, and the sex is over. The woman, if she was actually enjoying the scene, was obviously left hanging, and these were the sex scenes that fascinated me. To go into sex, knowing that the guy was only concerned with his orgasm, and knowing you'd be left hanging. I remember being really turned on at the idea of reversing the roles. Not the woman pegging the guy, but the guy focusing on the womans orgasm fully, and the sex being over once she was done. That my wife has no interest in giving hand or blow jobs made this seem even more exciting.

I suggested this as something to try, and soon it became how we did things. This was normal sex for us. A few years of doing this and I found something odd. I was so focused on her pleasure, and her orgasm, that when she came, my dick reacted like I'd cum as well. I had way less frustration, and around half the time, I'd go soft, much as if I'd had an orgasm too. I Googled this, and much searching and reading later, I found stuff on Tantric and Karezza. Apparently it is possible and often desirable to "share" the womans orgasm, and practise semen retention. This led down other paths of discovery, and eventually to chastity as a big part of it.

Chastity has been an on and off again thing for about 19 years or so, before becoming a more serious and full time thing over the last year. Being kinky, and having a number of very kinky friends, it's been incorporated into lots of stuff, and done for lots of reasons. I'm in chastity for my wife, and our best friend, who is a queer Domme. Chastity is just a normal thing, and daily routine. My dick is just for peeing. I wear a strap-on for sex (keyholder and I dont have sex, it's just serving) and still am able to get tantric relief from giving an orgasm. Sex is when the wife wants, about her pleasure, and over when she's done. It's 80's porn in reverse, plus kink, and chastity, and a more female led vibe, but it all started with watching the classics.
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Living with my 2 favorite people, in a semi-poly situation. Serving my Mistress Crosby, who holds my keys.

sherulestherooster
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Re: [Finn] Reverse 80's porn

Post by sherulestherooster » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:46 pm

Finn wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:50 am
The woman, if she was actually enjoying the scene, was obviously left hanging, and these were the sex scenes that fascinated me. To go into sex, knowing that the guy was only concerned with his orgasm, and knowing you'd be left hanging. I remember being really turned on at the idea of reversing the roles. Not the woman pegging the guy, but the guy focusing on the womans orgasm fully, and the sex being over once she was done. That my wife has no interest in giving hand or blow jobs made this seem even more exciting.
I can really relate to this, although my era was more in the early 90s. Reversing roles has always been very appealing to me. This was reinforced by my reading of "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner. The bottom line is that in porn, oral sex is either a) performed only on the male with no reciprocation; b) a part of foreplay for both partners and then "the real sex" happens.

Keller's book elaborates on the widely published statistic that only about 20% of women can climax from vaginal penetration (I've also skimmed articles that dissect this further saying the female's ability to climax from vaginal penetration is inversely related to the distance between her clitoris and her vagina). He argues to stop considering cunnilingus as foreplay as depicted in most porn and start considering this as the main event leading to her climax.

I'd recommend even to the most vanilla couple - having a "wifey weekend" where this is the focus and after a good oral sex orgasm for her, just let her bask in the afterglow and fall asleep happy.

For most couples, there's a good bit of post ejaculation clean up, which for my wife seems to ruin the mood a bit. If she lets me ejaculate inside her, she will normally fall asleep right afterwords with my semen leaking out and then wake up with a start to clean up. This is one reason that she decided to "force" me to use condoms. If she let me ejaculate, she would just roll over and fall asleep, and I'm the one that has to deal with the mess. There you have it - another role reversal!

As an aside, I have seen a few "mainstream" porn where the male doesn't ejaculate, and I think it's very hot. The main issue I have with most porn is the depiction of the female orgasm. It's so totally unlike my wife's. A real woman's orgasm is the most erotic sound known to mankind. The constant moaning is a real turnoff, for me.
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