[Eddie] A Touch Here and a Touch There

[LuckyEddie]

Maybe the dice was not such a good idea.

Things are progressing, she is making headway, we talked last night for a while about where this is going and while it was not what I would call a rousing review it was some serious progress. I got my new cage and it is far and away more comfortable than the cheap one, but its also far more restrictive. The cheap cage was about 2 inches long and roughly 1.5 wide. Given my size it was a loose but fair fit. I could still get a partial erection in it, which was not really uncomfortable, but it didn’t allow anywhere near full expansion (8 inches). This one is a nub, and no I cant get even close to an erection. In the cheap one I could, with enough effort, orgasm, not the nub.

Now I know others have issues with urethral inserts, but I find them very nice. The cheap cage had one, about 5 inches long, this one has a 7 inch insert that is also 1-2mm wider. It will take some time to become comfortable with it, but I do indeed like an insert. My cage bathes in 90% alcohol whenever its not attached, overnight at the very least, so infection is a very small risk.

Back to that dice issue I was discussing. I asked her to use them whenever I first cage up, and while we could not find any actual dice at Walmart, we did find a few dice apps for her phone. My wife is not in any way technically inclined, so I had to show her how to use the app. Mistake. Seems she figured out that the app does not just do the regular d6 craps type dice, it also has any type of dice needed for role playing games. D10, d12, d20!!!! So, on 1/31/22 she rolled a 14 on her d20 (I suspect she rolled several times until she got the roll she wanted). Sigh.

Anyway, she has been making plans for Valentines day. An evening out, a hotel room, she has bought us both outfits (I am a bit of a cross-dresser), and has been lightly teasing me about it. The d20 roll seems to have fed right into her plans. She wears her key on her necklace everywhere she goes, the spare is locked in the gun vault and while I am the only one with the combo for that, I am a man of my word. Emergency’s only.

She has been reluctant to do her reading, A KeyHolder's Handbook: A Woman's Guide To Male Chastity, but I have a commitment from her to finish the first 2 chapters before the end of this weekend. I have not read the book, eventually I hope to, but am keeping my distance. She has committed herself to learning more about this whole game, and I am trying to let her go at her own pace. We shall see…

Eddie

[DrPinotNoir]

I havent wrote my story.. but let me tell you what you have coming. I am not ex LEO but I almost was a ohio state trooper. I also took the detroit tests back in late 90s both those tests I did well on but then they went lottery after anyone that got a 60% or more. F that. I dont want to be next to someone that got a 61% on the test. I got pissed. Anyhow. IT pays better but the thrills arent there. WHATEVER.

So here is me. I figure you are a year ahead of me.
My wife says she is asexual. (I dont think she is.. but sure is nothing like previous girlfriends so maybe. She was also a virgin when I met her. Which is not cool the dirty librarian thing is bullshit I made my life a lot harder this way.. That was 30 years ago nothing worthwhile is easy. )

Your story minus the leo career is identical however. Even the goddamn dice. I was self locking and had this spreadsheet I made where I used dice. d4 d6 d10 d12 and d20s. anyhow.

So you got the libido.. and she has always "Done all the sexual stuff you want just for you" <--- fuck I thought I was the only guy in the world that heard this.. but.. probably a big sign of a ride or die woman. Which is what I got and what I want.

Yea.. same.

First off stop buying jacked up cages I bought like 20.. none fit right .. MY rec. get the 30 dollar sizing kit.. from Mature Metal. follow the damn directions to a T. I see so many guys on here that dont follow the directions. take them for a week or two.. I knew third day.. it wasnt the same but I got the gist.

Also here is the good part. I wouldnt mention this to the therapist or her. Just know that it is probably coming. Your story sounds exactly like mine.

I had my measurements but we said.. eh these cages all hurt somehow and I cant wear it all the time. so we gave up.

WEll I figured out my problem was I needed to vaseline the base ring and a part near the base of the cage.. now doing that it never pulls and it never hurts. So Jan 2. She said. I hate these shitty cages.. give me those measurements again.

I did.. She woke me up and showed me her phone. "I bought that jailbird it will be here in 6 weeks" I want you locked up 24/7

Wtf.. so I went to bed.. straining against the best cage Ive had the A271.

The next morning I asked her.

"Why the change? You LIKE chastity? Get out of here you are just saying that to please me yet again. Please dont do that."

Her answer ( I am paraphrasing) "No... REALLY! This is the first thing we have done that I love." (She said that same shit that 30 years she was doing it for me and didnt like ANY of it - WTF.. that is a kick in the nuts right?) she continued " IT means I am in charge. you cant pressure me even when you arent trying to pressure me. This is great I am in charge of our sexlife now. You are a lot nicer.. You don't get crabby. etc. This is perfect! I love it. I wanted to buy that jailbird because you can be 24/7 in it. We did the measurements perfect.. if it isnt right we send it back until it is.

I Love this.

I wouldnt say this story to your wife or therapist. let it happen organically. I think you are in for a hell of a ride bro. Im in week 4.

We just had a boner smashing conversation sunday (Im in a shitty chinese cage remember) where she was like " I hope it comes early. I am running right to you when it comes and we are putting it on."

Me sheepishly because I created this she devil out of nothing "You going to let me out of it ever? "

Her "Not for a very long time. If ever. I dont know. it is my decision" (this woman is like what you describe.. NOW she is playful and playing the game where before she was totally turned off.. then she was ambivalent. No more)

sunday she gave me this full body rubdown that was intense. I havent had one of those in easily 15-20 years.. she bit my ear.. talked shit in it.

"You probably want me to take that off and hold me down dont you? You cant (laughs) shows me the key on her necklace.

Normally that would have gone a certain way.. The cage is screwing with my brain too. Now me Mr alpha.. this is how convos go.

Her "You want me to take that cage off dont you?"
me "I want you to do whatever makes you happy with your cock if you want to unlock it you do what you want with it"

So.. the pressure is gone. I dont think your wife sees that yet.. but she will.

LOL strap in bro. Shit is about to get wild. I really think so.

[Mr Pickle]

Good luck with your journey. Personally I don't think our lives have ever been better thanks to a piece of metal. I hope yours goes in the same direction.

[LuckyEddie]

OMFG, I’m still processing but something happened this weekend and while it was completely wonderful, it leaves me worried in a couple of ways.

Valentines Day. 36 years and we have never really celebrated it in any significant way. I would buy flowers for the wife and daughters, and maybe she would get some candy for me, but usually that was about it. Not this year, not even close.

It started Saturday. We went to the local pawn shop, they were having their annual sale on jewelry, and we got her a ring. Then a turn off to a local toy shop, an unexpected stop. More than $300 dollars later, and a couple of new outfits for her and some unexpected toys, it was off to dinner and a wine shop, then to a hotel for a couple of days.

She had a drink with dinner, and continued drinking after we got to the hotel. For the last 20 years my wife has been nearly a “tea-total’er”, the occasional drink with dinner but never more. I have never, not once, seen her drunk, not in more than 37 years. That changed. Oh boy did it. She went through about half a bottle (a really big bottle) of booze during the evening. And with each drink inhibitions fell by the wayside. We have tried most of the pretty standard sex games over the years, all at my urging, but not Saturday night. OMG, bondage, toys, anal (only once before in that 37 years), edging, some pretty heavy nipple play, it was all there, and at 230am she was asking (demanding really) for more. She had more orgasms than I can count, and I didn’t get a one. I was pretty happy with that, it was all about her pleasure, not about mine. I was able to watch her, for possibly the very first time, enjoy the kind of pleasure that her body can provide for her. In the past any orgasms she experienced were tainted by her past, they were her body betraying her by enjoying something she never wanted to enjoy. Had learned to not enjoy. Not on Saturday, she drank at the orgasm trough and came back for more, several times. One after another, for nearly 6 hours. I still have a shit eating grin on my face, the joy of watching that happen continues to amaze me.

But here are the worries. #1, Does she have to drink to let those inhibitions go? I was a cop, I really dislike dealing with drunks. No, really really dislike it. Its why I rarely drink myself, I don’t want to impose that kind of thing on anyone else. Worry #2, was it a one time thing? A “final hurrah” before shutting me down for good? Worry #3, how much of it was due to the booze versus the enjoyment of realizing what she has been denying herself all these years.

Time will tell on those worries, but for now I am just going to enjoy the memory while its fresh. And this week, we will tell her therapist all about it and get her opinion. Maybe some really good advice. We shall see…

Eddie

[KittensBoyToy]

OMFG, I’m still processing but something happened this weekend and while it was completely wonderful, it leaves me worried in a couple of ways.

Valentines Day. 36 years and we have never really celebrated it in any significant way. I would buy flowers for the wife and daughters, and maybe she would get some candy for me, but usually that was about it. Not this year, not even close.

It started Saturday. We went to the local pawn shop, they were having their annual sale on jewelry, and we got her a ring. Then a turn off to a local toy shop, an unexpected stop. More than $300 dollars later, and a couple of new outfits for her and some unexpected toys, it was off to dinner and a wine shop, then to a hotel for a couple of days.

You say it was an unexpected stop at the toy shop. If I'm reading this right, it was before the drinking started so I have two questions. Whose idea was it to stop there? Who picked out the outfits and, more importantly, selected the toys? If the answer to either question, but especially the last one, is her then I believe there is a strong possibility that she is about to burst out of her shell. Maybe she experienced a little buyer's remorse and needed a few drinks to follow through. If she had nearly as much fun as you think she did then it should take less encouragement for her to loosen up next time.

this is very much like what happened to my very vanilla wife when we started. If I am right then...

Buckle up, Buttercup, you're in for one helluva ride!

[LuckyEddie]

You say it was an unexpected stop at the toy shop. If I'm reading this right, it was before the drinking started so I have two questions. Whose idea was it to stop there? Who picked out the outfits and, more importantly, selected the toys? If the answer to either question, but especially the last one, is her then I believe there is a strong possibility that she is about to burst out of her shell. Maybe she experienced a little buyer's remorse and needed a few drinks to follow through. If she had nearly as much fun as you think she did then it should take less encouragement for her to loosen up next time.

this is very much like what happened to my very vanilla wife when we started. If I am right then...

Buckle up, Buttercup, you're in for one helluva ride!

Totally her I idea, I was along for the ride. She had told me she had plans for this last weekend, but I could not have even imagined the reality. She chose everything, even the prostate massager (I somehow doubt she knew what it was or that I had been reading reviews on these devices).

There were some pretty serious drawbacks to the weekend. She has not been PIV in a very long time (4 or 5 years), and as with any muscles of the type if unused they tend to shrink. She kept insisting that I push some of the toys into places that just were not appropriately sized. A bit of blood ensued, at which time I insisted that this kind of play was at an end, not lots of blood, but ANY to far to much. That didnt stop the evening, not at all, but it did curtail some of the activities she was asking for.

We talked last night about it all, and she has no regrets (other than the ongoing pain from attempting to force unused muscle to do things it had not done in a long time), but she is also unsure if she needs the chemicals to reduce or eliminate her inhibitions. We talked about alternatives to alcohol (cannabis and such, I may have been a cop but I never had moral objection to THC, just legal one's) and the short and long term goals of not needing such for her to have a good time. I suggested that she talk with her doctor about the alternatives and any possible bad interactions with her current med's. That will happen next week. She has been pretty much hands off for the most part since, but not backing off of what we were already doing. Yes, it was a nearly 100% enjoyable weekend, and we will be discussing it with her therapist this week as well. Progress? In some aspects I think some pretty solid progress, but also lots of questions about what is ahead of us. Wild ride? Ghads I hope so!

Eddie

[Engineer]

On the alcohol front, we're occasional/casual drinkers. I will say that the lowered inhibitions after a night of drinking wine leads to many breakthroughs that often continue without alcohol afterwards. Sometimes just getting through that barrier is needed and then it comes much more naturally later. She is definitely much more willing to try things and I don't have an issue with that.

Good luck and buckle up for the (hopeful) ride!

[LuckyEddie]

Its been a bit since I updated here, but honestly there has not been much to update about. Things have been in a holding pattern since Valentines Day, dealing with lots of issues from the death of our son, to other kids being assholes, to getting ready to move to a new situation (housing wise).

The passing of our son has opened a few doors that we had always dreamed about, but knew they were dreams. But when a military member passes, the life insurance and survivors benefit makes for a substantial cash benefit. Yet the other parts of what survivors have to deal with make that “benefit” pale quite a bit.

The new housing situation may very well be exactly what our relationship needs. Our oldest son has been living with us for the last near 3 years (He’s 29), and when we move he wont be moving with us. Opens up the house for more freedom for us to play and enjoy each other, and it’s definitely something to look forward to. In part she has been unwilling to have sex while our children were home, not quite so when the kids were young, but as they grew older she used their presence as a sort of excuse to avoid. Among the many excuses she has used over the years, this was the most common. But with no kids at home, and a firm grasp on why she worked so hard to avoid intimacy, I can only see this as an avenue to greater intimacy and an exploration of where she is in her recovery and what that recovery opens for her.

I have been in and out of my cage during this time quite a bit, 4-6 days at a time in, and 2-3 days out. She still has not fully bought into the concepts, she has yet to tell me “No”, and she has not yet asked for sex. While in therapy we discussed this, and the therapist asked her what she was willing to do to keep me happy while she works her way through all the in’s and out’s of her therapy path. She could not answer. She seems open to actually getting intimate, but does not know where to start. I offered the suggestion that she milk me every other week, and the therapist thought that was a great idea. I got sent out of the office while they discussed what they meant, what she could do to help me, and what that kind of progress might do for the relationship. At least that’s what I believe they discussed, it seems logical from the way she has acted since. They came up with a single rule for me. Don’t ask for more than what she is willing to give. A major challenge for me. She has not taken the time to actually put hands on yet, to many things happening, but with me quietly pressing (Oh a so very light a touch here, not wanting to make her run for the hills) I believe it will eventually become an historical fact and not a dream or wish. We shall see….

Eddie

[LuckyEddie]

Well, its been more than a month since I last updated here, but its been a totally uneventful month.

She has stopped wearing her key, since her mother is living with us after her fall she just does not want to have to explain it to her I suppose. Not that mom would get the truth mind you, but its not a risk she is willing to take. Sad day for me, but I continue to spend 4 out of 7 days caged. No O’s, with or without, at least not very often. I have found that it is indeed possible to force an orgasm when caged, but it takes a great deal of effort, but the effort is well worth it as the orgasm is pretty intense.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago she complained that she is the only one that ever plans “romantic get-away’s” in our relationship, and she is right. The reason being that every time in the past I have tried to make plans, we didn’t have the money, the kids were sick, she was planning on taking over the world, …something. So I stopped trying, years ago. That came to an end last week.

I planned a night on the town and a hotel room for this coming weekend. At first it went over like a lead balloon, “What if’s” came flying fast and furious. I have stuck to my guns, insisting that it was paid for, non-refundable (and it is, totally non-refundable), she sister is in town to help out with mom (I paid for a plane ticket to get her here, and eventually to get her back home), and now her brother is having knee surgery as I write this. When I told her to set aside this Saturday she never mentioned it, but now the knee cutter is chopping him open and my wife, (remember her?) the “I take care of everyone else so I don’t have to deal with the sex issue” woman, says that he has no one else to take care of him. Wrong, bring his ass to the house and his sister (the other one) can watch them both. Not allowing any wriggle room, none. If the planet catches fire, I will dump water on the truck and drive through the dam flames. We ARE going, period.

I am billing it as a night with a movie, dinner, and relaxation, and if something happens of a sexual nature, well then all to the good. I plan to bringing all the toys, even the one’s she knows nothing about, some outfits, I am removing excess hair tomorrow morning, and we are out of here. When I get back from the range the cage goes on (I don’t wear it to the range, too far from the key and if an accident happens then the explanations would be … difficult, until SHE removes it. Hopefully Monday I will have a good story to tell. We shall see…

Eddie

[LuckyEddie]

Well, that weekend was a total bust, in most ways. I am my own worst enemy sometimes, billing it as a relaxing evening for de-stressing was not such a good idea for what I was wanting, but it was still what she needed. And while it was somewhat disappointing for me, it was good for her. That was the important part. In many ways I am much like her, I subordinate myself to her needs so much that its second nature, ignoring my own needs most of the time. I know, that sounds like the perfect situation for the kink we are into, but to the contrary there must be a portion of your partner who recognizes that you have needs as well and that they must be met. Not every day, not in the ways we hope for, but met they must be. Emotional as well as physical. To a point she is very good at meeting my emotional needs, physically not so much. Her background kind of makes that difficult. Still working on that in therapy, along with a few other things. My being patient being one. We get into these kinds of evenings and I have certain expectations, sometimes a bit unrealistic, but expectations none the less. History should tell me that those expectations rarely get even close to being met, but there are a very few times when she has exceeded them, usually by quite a bit. “If wishes were fishes…”.

Got a new and slightly larger base ring a few weeks ago and finally tried it. 10x as comfortable, although under the right circumstances a testicle can escape, and once the first is out the second can escape very easily. 45mm to 50mm, so it seems I need about a 47mm or 48mm. Sadly the company that makes mine does not offer these as an option. Any suggestions? Koalaswim is the company that I purchased this from, and I love the device in general but an exact fit is going to be … difficult it seems.

Eddie