Explain PERMANENT to me

[sirmebane]

While I realize it is a strong fantasy for a lot of us (myself included), I see a lot of honest accounts of those who never want to have an orgasm again. Ever. Permanent denial.

I can think of worse things but why never again?

[Reinest]

I imagine that for some staying permanently chaste means they can focus all their energy on their partners.

[Shepherdsflock]

For us, its really "indefinite" rather than "permanent". My wife really never wants to have intercourse again (which is the only way I can achieve orgasm with her). Me not having orgasms isn't really the goal.

The reason we consider it indefinite is because my wife is realistic enough to realize she might get the itch for another baby someday. Otherwise, I won't have another erection because she can't enjoy sex if she knows I have an erection that could penetrate her.

[NoloMeTangere]

Well for me at least, its more kind of indefinitely suspended. That said, my wife hates intercourse, doesn't like erections, and is nauseated by the smell of come. Conversely, she is really turned on by teasing and denying me, and feels very loved and.close to me when she knows I'm safely locked away.

I was initially attracted somewhat by the kink, and partly by our unusual marital situation. The reality was initially more than I could easily deal with, but I've come to crave it and the changes it has brought about in my wife's sexuality and our closeness.

[TwistedMister]

I wouldn't go for no more orgasms, ever. I need to have the 'reward' periodically. The 'reward' can be an important motivator, and without it there would be less control. There needs to be a 'carrot' to go along with the 'stick'.

[wishful4]

For me, the definition of permanent chastity means no more orgasms, period, ever. My situation is better defined as "indefinite chastity", no orgasms until she permits one. The similarity between the two is with respect to use of a locking chastity device. Both incorporate being locked 24/7 unless your Keyholder directs otherwise.

[jfenoffti]

I like the indefinite vs permanent definition too. As well as the "carrot". And that is especially important to me. My KH only occasionally overtly "teases". She loves PIV intercourse, always has. Just not as often as I always have! So, with occasional classic, right-out-of-the-play-book "teases", having the big O as a reward is important to me.

[locked4her55]

Like several members above, I also need the reward of an orgasm once and awhile. My wife would not be in favor of anything permanent. When she desires PIV she gets it and every so often she wants to feel my O. She's the boss and gets what she wants and I'm obliged to deliver.

There needs to be a 'carrot' to go along with the 'stick'.

or paddle.

[TwistedMister]

Seems to me that what we have here is two slightly different ideas- permanent/indefinite control, and permanent/indefinite [orgasm] denial.

I think more are favorable toward permanent control, than permanent denial. I *like* orgasms and wouldn't want to give them up completely, it's the control aspect that trips my trigger- not being able to decide for myself when and how I get to orgasm, having them restricted and rationed and using the desire for orgasm as a means to modify behavior.

The desire for sex and orgasm can be a powerful motivator, that can cause people to go to great lengths in pursuit of them. Taking orgasms off the table completely actually *eliminates* a measure of control- the 'wanting' and the ability of the Keyholder to grant or deny the satisfaction of that 'want' is powerful. Throughout history men have done some crazy/stupid things or instituted radical changes in behavior in the pursuit of satisfying sexual desire, being able to control and direct that is *power*.

For *most* Keyholders, keeping that desire/hope alive (and satisfying it on a limited basis) maximizes their power and control.

If I had no hope of orgasm I would be less inclined to participate, and it is likely that the eroticism would begin to dwindle and eventually die. Without that, it would be like "What's the point?"

The idea of permanent *control*, on the other hand, I can get into. In fact, I devised the basic set of rules for our 'game', and if Mrs. Twisted ever decided to take *full* advantage of them she *could* retain control permanently...or at least until we get too old and stop giving a shit about sex.

[jfenoffti]

Seems to me that what we have here is two slightly different ideas- permanent/indefinite control, and permanent/indefinite [orgasm] denial.

I think more are favorable toward permanent control, than permanent denial. I *like* orgasms and wouldn't want to give them up completely, it's the control aspect that trips my trigger- not being able to decide for myself when and how I get to orgasm, having them restricted and rationed and using the desire for orgasm as a means to modify behavior.

ROGER. Clearly and concisely stated! I'm on board with the "permanent/indefinite control" group.

If I had no hope of orgasm I would be less inclined to participate, and it is likely that the eroticism would begin to dwindle and eventually die. Without that, it would be like "What's the point?"

The idea of permanent *control*, on the other hand, I can get into. In fact, I devised the basic set of rules for our 'game', and if Mrs. Twisted ever decided to take *full* advantage of them she *could* retain control permanently...or at least until we get too old and stop giving a shit about sex.

Precisely. There would be no game if you could never "win". Would love to read your "rules" and with your permission, incorporate some of them into our "game rules".