Well last night was a bit different and interesting at the same time. Many times I have given her a massage before we start, specially since she has been preparing for Thanksgiving.
Once done, the twist began. She asked for her earbuds and tablet, thinking she wasn't ready I was a bit let down. She then told me I could proceed. I orally took care of her and slid up to see if there might be anything else. One kiss and she said, "I will let you get to sleep because I know you toss around before you fall asleep". She dressed and went to the living room to watch TV.
I have never asked for attention, but I was hoping for some since the of the new change and year "test". None was given. This was a mental challenge for me. It took 2 hours for me to fall asleep. Thoughts were dancing in my head. I wanted this, and asked for it. I told her I did not expect anything and it was up to her. The short time I have been in seems different than any before. Will it be this way the whole year? When I get to use the strap on for her, will it be the same?
As I relaxed and my sexual frustration lowered, I was happy, knowing I wanted this. I know my mental state and sexual state will be a roller coaster this year. It will be interesting to read back at the end of the year and also see where things end up.
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