slow but steady

[finallyhappy]

I am going to do this in small parts mostly because I use my phone more than my computer. But I wanted to document and share my story. I hope you will all indulge me.

I am a 51 and my gf is 45. We've been dating for a year and a half now. We'd be married tomorrow if we could but her youngest daughter is 14 and she really doesn't feel like her daughter is ready quite yet. Younger would have probably worked, older would have probably worked. But 14 is a tricky age. She has been on her own for the last 10 years and although dated in that time has not had a serious relationship. And the daughter has never had to share her before. She has already raised two great kids so I totally respect her wishes on this and won't rush her. All I asked was to make sure that she did not neglect my physical needs. We settled into making sure we had adult time at least every other week. And all was good.

Then being the porn-surfing self-pleasuring guy that I am, had some basic knowledge of male chastity devices. Knowing that taking care of myself too often really did diminish the quality of my orgasms with my partners, decided to take the plunge. I ordered myself a cb6000. This was driven by two reasons. First to do what I could to help her manage these clearly conflicting responsibilities. Second to have better orgasms.

Then one night at her house (not on an adult time night) I explained to her what I was doing, why I was doing it, and asked her to keep the keys. Once I convinced her that such a thing actually existed, the response was: no keys, no participation, do what you need to do but just don't wear it around her.

Ok I should mention that by that point we had been dating for about six months and had both decided that yes our future was with each other.

So no revulsion or breakup or freakout. Just do what you gotta do. A very slow start.

[finallyhappy]

I wish I could remember what led to the first step forward. I think it was when I got her to agree that even though I was holding the keys that she would tell me when to lock or unlock myself. Then I showed up at her house for a mid-week quiet let's watch some tv but at least we are together nights still locked up because she didn't tell me to unlock. She was in the just make sure no one notices it phase. We were probably dating for a year and about 6 months into my self locking when we had gotten to that point. But I was always told to unlock on adult time night before I picked her up. She also liked to leave me unlocked for about a week before telling me to lock back up. But it was participation.

Two other things happened in this time. One that although she never saw it or touched it, she did start teasing me with my clothes on and driving or cuddling on the couch with it. More progress. The second think we found out is that even with our clothes on we found out that she is able to straddle me and get herself off. We had only did that once but it was a great rush. A shame I wasn't locked up that night and was on my unlocked break.

Slowly but steadily forward.

[finallyhappy]

At some point during this time, she agreed to keep one of the keys and the other one would still be at my house. Slow but steady. No complaints. I had even bought her a locket to keep it in. She enjoyed teasing me by sending me camera pics of it. She was definitely enjoying the tease factor. But still in our cycle of sex every other week with the first week unlocked. I will confess to rubbing one out the first day or two free.

Then a major leap occurred.

Her daughter had a late movie she was going to and was getting dropped off. So we thought that it would be a great night for a date night for us. My gf told me when to come over but also specifically not to unlock. When I got there she was wearing her locket and enjoyed teasing me about it. Her plan was to tell me to get undressed and to give me the key to unlock myself. Now I had been locking up for about 8 months and had never even seen the cage. Frustrated by that, I pointed it out to her. She agreed to look at it and touch it. She was such a shy and skittish little mouse, but finally.

So I got undressed and sat on a chair (her fave). But when she opened the locket to give me the key, it was gone. It had fallen out somewhere and to this day has never found it. In our panic of figuring out what to do, she remembered that I had bought her a toy to keep at the house. She had not used it yet but damn it, come Hell or high water she was determined to get off that night.

Which of course left me quite frustrated and quite happy about it. Since the holidays were coming up and it was going to be chaotic, I even got her to agree to extending me out to four weeks for our first time. But I am telling you, her guilt over that was horrible.

[finallyhappy]

Now she was freaked out that we only had one key. So I ordered a new lock that had three keys with the following agreement: one key for her locket, one key for her purse, and one key sealed in an envelop at my house for emergencies. But now she would be in complete and total control over our sex life. But we still continued to follow our existing pattern.

But she had started to feel more comfortable with expressing herself and our roles in the bedroom. She even went out on a limb one night and said, ok I'm done you can take care ot yourself. She was so worried that i'd get mad. I tried to explain that that was fine. It was even fine if she had said ok she was done and I should lock myself back up. That I was ok waiting because I liked the teasing and the stronger orgasm. That as long as she got off that I could go for at least a month.

Just over a month ago she wanted to tease me and ride me with a toy and not unlock me and to let me go a month (she was slowly but surely coming along) but halfway through she abandoned the toy and wanted me. Well after she came and I said we could lock me back up if she wanted, I am telling you she had tears in her eyes. The guilt of her having an orgasm and me not was crushing.

[finallyhappy]

So three weeks into our proposed four week lockups, she realized that the next several weekends were crammed full of family and that it might actually be six weeks. I tried to reassure her that one of the benefits of keeping the keys was that sex was on her schedule now. Not mine.

After the fourth week we were driving down the highway. She was having fun groping my package and teasing me the way she loves to do, she was saying how guilty she felt about me having to wait so long. And that if she had realized how long it would be that she would not have locked me back up that night.

My reply was honey, I am going to prove something to you. That you don't feel guilty at all. And that is ok. Because I am good waiting for as long as you want me to wait. I said there is a rest area about two miles up the road. If you feel guilty then you will tell me to pull into that rest area, use your key to unlock me and give me a handjob. It will not take you more than 60 seconds and that is a promise. If you don't tell me to then I am going to keep driving and then you and I will both know that it doesn't matter to you if I have one or not. And that there is nothing wrong with that.

She promptly told me to keep driving because that there was nothing in it for her. And it really has helped her get over that guilt. It was truly a milestone. Now I'll also say in all honesty that it really was a selfish answer. But who am I to complain when it got my point across. It's ok if my orgasms are removed from the equation. That there is nothing to feel guilty about.

[finallyhappy]

Then about a week later we were at her house and we only had a few minutes before she had to leave and go get her daughter. She was in a teasing mood and after 4 weeks I was grabby as all get out. Which is really nice. She is like the only woman that I've ever met that does not mind being groped. And one thing lead to another, I wound up dry-humping her on the steps. She got off with her clothes on again and then said. Sorry gotta go. Sucks to be you but I got off.

She gets major kudos for that one.

We followed this up after week 5 with another stairs session. She got off again fully clothed. And left me hanging and leaking soooo badly.

We talked and said yep the guilt is gone. She will only do me when its convenient for her to do me and not to worry, that I was on her to-do list.

I also asked her, honey do you know how when we're married and you want me to take over the finances and decision making because you are tired of all that responsibility? Well I feel the same way about my orgasms. Now that you could care less if I have one or not and they are no longer part of our sex life (huge leap here to see if she agreed) I want you to be in charge of my orgasms. I don't want any responsiblity for them. I want you to be in charge of them. How I can have them and when I can have them. That I no longer have the right to have one. That the only ones that I will ever have again will be as a gift from you. And thankfully she agreed.

I am lucky though. I know that she won't deny me for long. It's just not in her nature. Granted I'd like her to, but I know she just can't.

[finallyhappy]

Which brings me where I am today. My expected unlocking at week 6 did not happen. Family crises got in the way. These are things that can't be avoided. Gf was naturally disappointed because she was really looking forward to quiet time and sex with me. But no guilt.

We met today for lunch which we do once or twice a week since we work so close together. I asked her about how me being locked up was working for her. Was she getting what she wanted out of it and what she liked about it.

She answered that she likes that the pressure to have sex is off of her. Not that she felt pressure from me but the pressure from herself. And that now she doesn't feel that pressure. That she doesn't feel like we can't go to the movies and have time for sex before she needed to go home so it was skip the movies. Now there is no pressure and she can do what she really wants to do. Whichever one it might be.

What she liked about it (as she blushed) was having complete control over my orgasms. She really likes that.

Now she knows how much I love to be locked up. And she still intends to give me breaks after each orgasm. I reaffirmed that she is the one that decides when I am locked up and for how long. She also asked if I was going to be disappoiented if she let me cum. That sometimes we didn't use toys that she wanted me inside her (isn't she wonderful?). I told her that I couldn't be disappointed when she let's me orgasm. That in order for me to have her control my orgasms I have to accept whatever it is she decides. Otherwise it is my control not hers. She decides when and how.

So here I am waiting for my week 7 release. I want to orgasm so bad it's not funny. Yet the other half of me loves this sexual high. I am glad It's her choice not mine.

But I'm really pleased with the way we've grown together into this.

[Locked by LRC]

Your story was great to read. When so many people start they think it will be like the fantasy wank material that you can encounter 90% of the time. Yours shows what I think is common. We have to be patient and let the hopeful future keyholder accept it at their own pace.

Hope it continues as great as it has started.

[finallyhappy]

I love to see her growing into it. Around the holidays since we were going to be around family a lot, due to her fear of discovery, she had given me the key for the weekend with explicit times when to take it off and put it back on. With the craziness of the last few weeks. All she said was just make sure no one can see it. Part growing in confidence part not giving up that control that she is starting to love so much.

I have learned one thing this last month. In terms of being discrete, since the cb would sometimes move to the right or left and I notice the head, what I found is that by wearing a jock strap he is kept perfectly in place and ultra discrete. I actually enjoy wearing it. The only time I don't is when I head to a bar with friends. The jock rules out easy use of a urinal and there is no way I am sitting in any of those stalls.

On thing I am curious to see play out is travel. Last year we were able to get a few weekends out of town. But then it was don't wear it and don't pack it. In a couple of months we'll be taking another short trip. I am curious if she is going to want to extend her control over that time slice now.

[locked4her55]

If there is one thing I could pass on from my 2+ years in chastity it's "let things happen at your spouse/KH's pace" My VERY vanilla wife has really taken to me being locked up but it took time. She needed to realize the benefits of this new lifestyle and confirm that they were here to stay. Before chastity sex was pretty much all about me. Now it's all about her and I'm very happily secure with that!