Negative effects on Relationship?

[sirmebane]

Karezza, the formal practice of "just the tip."

I love the idea of Karezza but the implementation seems like it would be difficult to keep disciplined since once you're in that place, you both really want to continue. I have suggested it to my wife a couple of times to a confused and cold reception. I'd really like the intimacy aspect of it along with the utter denial it eventually brings.

She has so far found other activities that have a higher priority. Maybe I need to suggest it again.

[shyguy]

If your wife/partner is not into sex or sexy stuff in general then it can become the opposite of fun. In fact in my case my wife found the whole keyholder thing too much to think about so it became a pointless exercise. Putting the focus on either my cock or her pleasure when she's completely against sex of any kind is a recipe for misery.

So yeah, it can have negative consequences if you're not in the right relationship to begin with.

[newbieconfusedgf]

I recently found out my partner has a masturbation issue (that had been affecting his libido and leading to no sex on days he masturbated, which was often apparently) and now he's suggesting permanent chastity as a solution. It's really highlighting other issues in our relationship and I feel pushed into this. I don't trust him out of the cage now because he will go back to masturbating and ignoring me. He has two personalities, one when he's out and one when he's caged. It's giving me whiplash. If someone wants to dm me some advice I would be forever grateful.

Edit: Situation has changed. Have had a change of heart. Thanks for the advice all.

[WifeIsVanilla]

Welcome newbieconfusedgf. You have come to the right place.

Read back in each of the different forums to view the broad spectrum of chastity experiences from the male perspective. There are years worth of posts, and you will soon get a feel for what is average as well as the various "out-theres."

I expect that the moderators will soon get you set up for the "Keyholders" forum for the female perspective. Good luck. I hope that you and your partner have a lot of fun with it.

[TwistedMister]

I recently found out my partner has a masturbation issue (that had been affecting his libido and leading to no sex on days he masturbated, which was often apparently) and now he's suggesting permanent chastity as a solution. It's really highlighting other issues in our relationship and I feel pushed into this. I don't trust him out of the cage now because he will go back to masturbating and ignoring me. He has two personalities, one when he's out and one when he's caged. It's giving me whiplash. If someone wants to dm me some advice I would be forever grateful.

There are a lot of guys who would say that the answer is obvious, but that doesn't seem to be what you're looking for. There is a 'Keyholder' section that you should be able to see, that the guys can't, if you would like to talk with some of the other ladies. (I don't think you can do DM/PM yet.)

I don't think we have quite enough information to give advice just yet, so, some questions. Which 'personality' do you prefer? Do you have any objection(s) to keeping him caged? Do you *not* enjoy having a certain measure of 'control' of the situation?

You say that you feel 'pushed into this', so I'm assuming that he introduced it and it was his idea. If you prefer the 'caged personality' and it is a workable solution (and you have no objections to it), does it matter whose idea it was?

I'm a guy, and my simple guy mind (thinking with the little head) would say "Just keep him caged and enjoy." But I think you're looking for more than that, and I'm not sure what it is that you *are* looking for.

[newbieconfusedgf]

-quote cut for the sake of length-

I know its a huge switch in perspectives but in light of recent events it's not as much of an issue now. The issue was bigger than expected but working towards positive solutions with this now.

[TwistedMister]

-quote cut for the sake of length-

I know its a huge switch in perspectives but in light of recent events it's not as much of an issue now. The issue was bigger than expected but working towards positive solutions with this now.

Oh...OK...

[CagedKC]

It has had only positive effects on our relationship. Foremost, it stoppped any masturbation alone on my part. My wife loves tgat I only cum when she wants me to. Secondly, it has opened a kink dialog where my wife admitted she desired to fuck other men with me watching. We have made that happen as often as possible and it has been a great three plus years. Because of the cage, my wife has thrown off her puritan upbringing and is constantly expanding her sexual horizon. I just wish I had not waited seven years to express my need to her.

[505dude]

Our relationship was good before I introduced chastity. Now it's great. She has seen the change in me and she likes it. About 6 months into our experience I asked her if this was working for her and she replied, "YES, and we're not going back, why. . . you didn't want to stop did you?"

She's all about keeping me from myself.

This describes my situation exactly. My wife and i were curious about chastity, dove into it, and we both like what it brings to our relationship. We were never attempting to solve a problem or fix anything in our relationship. Instead, we were open to chastity as something new we've never tried (as is our nature), and have no regrets with our discovery. Quite the contrary.

[Spchaste]

Same here, no negative effects but the contrary, we are more connected with each other emotionally. It started as a game and making it a daily basis made me be more attentive to her, something that with many years of marriage one tends to take for granted.

She of course loves that extra attention and discovered that that kind of control or power over me, having to depend on her for something so intimate as having an orgasm makes her feel great. Also the realization that she just can enjoy sex without having to give me something in return made her more comfortable and seeking her own and only pleasure, and sincerely I love that "selfish" new her.

And for me despite having few orgasms I find that I prefer it, the constant arousal day by day it's way better than the orgasm itself, that lasts only brief seconds. I remember myself before chastity, masturbating almost everyday and obtaining so little pleasure that it can't be compared to what I have had the last seven years.

So I can say our relationship has been improved by chastity, we were great before it but now we're even better. I don't know how to exactly explain it but as if both had found our place, our role in the relationship.