How you wound up in chastity.

fineline · Post by **fineline** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:35 pm

I think that your experience is common for a lot of men, especially when we love our wives and find ourselves drifting apart, or the intimacy diminishing to the point where you have sex infrequently. There can be many causes, but among them masturbation is frequently one of them. It was for me. I drifted into it, having extended sessions when alone for an evening, using it to get back to sleep in the middle of the night, dealing with frustration with work or life, and escape.... All the while my ability to have sex with my wife of 30+ years diminishing to where I was afraid to try to have sex because I would lose my erection in the middle. You could see the apprehension in her eyes when we started, which didn't help.

Trying to avoid it on my own lasted a couple of days, and then I was back at it. We talked about the ED, and I said that it might be from masturbating too much. She said "what do you do about that?" Then I came across a reference to the Holy Trainer, and started digging, and proposed chastity as a solution. She agreed, and I had a device on in a matter of days, less than a week in fact. It was awful, but it was a start until I got better devices (yeh, plural, as I learn what fits and works for me). We've been on the path of her controlling my orgasms ever since then. It's been worth the effort, worth every penny, worth every orgasms that I haven't had - and it's a lot since I was doing it at least once a day, often twice.

I don't think we'll ever quit. We are closer than we have been for years. While the number of orgasms for me has fallen to a fraction of what it used to be, the number she has enjoyed has gone up dramatically. When I'm locked up she's free to enjoy her pleasure with no thought of what I need. When I do get to have sex, whether it's T&D, PIV or just lying there kissing and snuggling, who needs Viagra?? When I get out and am allowed to have an orgasm, it's as intense as when we were first married, and no fear of going soft in the middle of sex. I've had an opportunity to masturbate, and decided that I would rather have it from her hand than mine. The pleasure is greater, and it's with her.

I won't say that we don't enjoy the kink, but we're pretty vanilla, so don't go close to the extremes. No D/s stuff. She controls my erections and orgasms because I want her to, but she still wants me to be the head of the family. Chastity is not magic, it is not a cure all. But it can be a powerful tool to bring two people who love each other together.... and it's a heck of a lot of pleasure!

Edits are to take care of typos, and other annoying stuff that I missed typing this on my netbook.

locked4her55 · Post by **locked4her55** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:39 pm

Well said fineline. What you have described is pretty much our journey too.

grubber · Post by **grubber** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:02 pm

fineline wrote:I think that your experience is common for a lot of men, especially when we love our wives and find ourselves drifting apart, or the intimacy diminishing to the point where you have sex infrequently. There can be many causes, but among them masturbation is frequently one of them. It was for me. I drifted into it, having extended sessions when alone for an evening, using it to get back to sleep in the middle of the night, dealing with frustration with work or life, and escape.... All the while my ability to have sex with my wife of 30+ years diminishing to where I was afraid to try to have sex because I would lose my erection in the middle. You could see the apprehension in her eyes when we started, which didn't help.

Trying to avoid it on my own lasted a couple of days, and then I was back at it. We talked about the ED, and I said that it might be from masturbating too much. She said "what do you do about that?" Then I came across a reference to the Holy Trainer, and started digging, and proposed chastity as a solution. She agreed, and I had a device on in a matter of days, less than a week in fact. It was awful, but it was a start until I got better devices (yeh, plural, as I learn what fits and works for me). We've been on the path of her controlling my orgasms ever since then. It's been worth the effort, worth every penny, worth every orgasms that I haven't had - and it's a lot since I was doing it at least once a day, often twice.

I don't think we'll ever quit. We are closer than we have been for years. While the number of orgasms for me has fallen to a fraction of what it used to be, the number she has enjoyed has gone up dramatically. When I'm locked up she's free to enjoy her pleasure with no thought of what I need. When I do get to have sex, whether it's T&D, PIV or just lying there kissing and snuggling, who needs Viagra?? When I get out and am allowed to have an orgasm, it's as intense as when we were first married, and no fear of going soft in the middle of sex. I've had yjr opportunity to masturbate, and decided that I would rather have it from her hand than mine. The pleasure is greater, and it's with her.

I won't say that we don't enjoy the kink, but we're pretty vanilla, so don't go close to the extremes. No D/s stuff. She controls my erections and orgasms because I want her to, but she still wants me to be the head of the family. Chastity is not magic, it is not a cure all. But it can be a powerful tool to bring two people who love each other together.... and it's a heck of a lot of pleasure!

Amazing story fineline. This type of story warms my heart and it did my wife also as I showed it to her. To us, its all about the relationship. I could read stories like this all day without getting tired of them. We are vanilla also. In fact we do not even know what D/s means.

locked4her55, it's exciting that your journey is a relationship builder also.

Best of luck to you guys. Wish you the best and anybody else here that's enjoying their journey.

Post by **Tom Allen** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:15 am

fineline wrote: I won't say that we don't enjoy the kink, but we're pretty vanilla, so don't go close to the extremes. No D/s stuff. She controls my erections and orgasms because I want her to, but she still wants me to be the head of the family. Chastity is not magic, it is not a cure all. But it can be a powerful tool to bring two people who love each other together.... and it's a heck of a lot of pleasure!

Yeah, this. Well said.

Tame Lion · Post by **Tame Lion** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 1:48 pm

I think this site is pretty good at reality. There is a fair amount of fantasy posing as fact, but comparatively speaking, as far as forums go, this is as good as it gets. There are a bunch of very real blogs. Lady M has one, Tom has one and I do too. Speaking for myself, everything on our blog is completely true and real. I feel certain so are Tom's and Lady M's. Both make great reading.

Post by **Tom Allen** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 3:09 pm

Tame Lion wrote:I feel certain so are Tom's and Lady M's. Both make great reading.

I'm the original "real" guy. Nobody is more realer or originaller than I am.

LockedUp24 · Post by **LockedUp24** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 6:25 pm

For us its simply adding sexy spice to our marriage that spills into every day life.
How far we go is up to her.

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