Chastity Goals

[TwistedMister]

You're quite lucky to have two women to share that space with, the only thing that ever discouraged me before was when there was an interruption of sexual activity for a while (period or just temporary disinterest). With two partners, I imagine that is much less of an issue.

Seems to me that I recall something about women who are in close quarters for an extended length of time tend to get in sync, and their menstrual cycles alter and become matched. Double trouble?

Any input on that Finn?

[Finn]

Yeah, security isn't an issue here either. I hold the keys, wife would never want to manage that.

I eventually found that the longer I went without orgasm, not only the better the tantric bond I felt with my partner was, the more afraid I was of losing it, and thus, the more I wanted to stay in that state. Willpower at that point was no longer an issue, I wanted to remain orgasm-free for life. Unfortunately, it ended up being ended at first by a couple of accidents, and then shortly after (directly due to the last accident) by a lapse of judgement, as I was not back in that headspace again yet.

Since then, I have gotten over the need for having any physical stimulation myself, but still can't quite kick the O habit. Would love to get back on the wagon.

You're quite lucky to have two women to share that space with, the only thing that ever discouraged me before was when there was an interruption of sexual activity for a while (period or just temporary disinterest). With two partners, I imagine that is much less of an issue.

I'm the same way in that I found that the longer I went orgasmless, the better the connection, and the more I was able to actually feel that I could make a commitment to being orgasm free, and still have a positive sexual experience. Half the time, when I share an orgasm, it's like cumming together, and my penis reacts like I've cum as well. the other half of the time, it's like role reversal in a porn film where the guy pulls out and orgasms, leaving the woman high and dry(ish).

I've found that I can give up orgasms, but not stimulation. Perhaps if I could cum from giving/sharing I could, but I don't think I could endure chastity or denial without some stimulation. With my wife, there's no stimulation for me, but with my girl, she stimulates me by hand and mouth. I find that I no longer have a mental desire to orgasm, but when edged, there is still the physical desire to have release/relief/orgasm. Often there's a battle between my mental desire to remain orgasm-less, and our 3 way view that it is a dirty/messy habit for me....and the physical desire to have it. Often the mental desire not to have it, overrides the bodies attempts to cause it. My wife allowed me to enjoy myself with other kink partners over the years, and now that we have a live-in situation, my orgasm is my offering to her in gratitude for the pleasures I was allowed. Surprisingly, that motivation has helped to control the physical aspects of being edged for extended periods.

2 women can get into synch, although so far, it's been more of a mutual inconsistent rhythm around here. There can be some overlap of periods, but it's usually been around a week apart, with some random start/stops for both. I do wear a cb during my wife's period, so my girl can't stimulate me then. My wife's is shorter, so sometimes they both end at the same time. Each is a very different relationship and separate, I've yet to give an orgasm while in my cb so far, under the current rules, but you never know.

[hot_toddy_dog]

Yeah, it took many years to go from being okay with having zero orgasms to being okay with having zero stimulation, but it precipitated all at once. My wife didn't really enjoy edging me, I didn't really enjoy masturbating anymore (after having an accident), so the male stimulation thing was already uncomfortable. I also didn't desire sex for fear of having an accident. Then one night, I had smoked a bowl, was stoned out of my gourd, going down on my wife, and time was moving soooo sllooooowwwlly, I thought, wow, I am really aroused and really turned on, so hard and enjoying this so much right now, I would be happy to slow this moment down and just feel this same feeling forever.

Since then, I haven't ever asked for any kind of stimulation again. Not advocating taking drugs to get there, just saying how it happened to me. Now that same feeling I felt then, of being completely and totally aroused is the only thing I crave, even more than physical stimulation - and yes, now that I wear chastity, I do get that same feeling every time we make love.

Orgasm to me is like a hill. Most people like to run up the hill and then proceed to fall down over the other side. Some people like to turn off the power just before hitting the top, coast on up, and roll over without the crash. Some fortunate people can learn to hang glide at the top and fly there for an hour. Others like to run up and fall over several hills. Then there are the rare sort, like us, that just keep wanting to climb, but never reach the top...

[Finn]

My wife isn't into giving stimulation either. My girl however, is and loves edging me, and how I react. Right now, I do need to have some stimulation or I'd go crazy. It is possible to edge me enough, that I finally relax and have had enough, but it's a real battle and struggle. There are definitely times I'd want to yell, "This hill really sucks!!!"..

[Aarkey]

My goal is simple, to honor my keyholder as she sees fit to incorporate chastity in our relationship. I have no personal goal about duration or any other act related to chastity, but I am open and willing (and desire) to have it as a part of our relationship. What part that plays, is up to her.

[HeldForHer]

How long have you been doing this?

[Finn]

Hey Finn and hot_toddy_dog, I admire where you are. We've just started with using a cage but actually started OD over a year ago. My goal ideally would be to get closer to what you have achieved. On some level, I want to give up full orgasms all together but I'm not sure if this is a realistic goal for me of course.

How long have you been doing this and how long have you been at your current practices?

Thanks!

The OD with my wife started probably 15 or more years ago. That was a combo of things. She doesn't like cum, and prefers to relax after her orgasm, so having me going at it wasn't working for her. In my early 30's I'd had surgery related to Crohn's disease, and found reaching orgasm difficult and where I normally do have a fair bit of "post orgasm drop", I was also getting serious fatigue, probably related to the body replenishing minerals and such, that I was not absorbing well. Add in that I've has some sort of an orgasm denial fetish for as long as I can recall, and we just decided one day that we'd stop having me orgasm during sex. I also started reading stuff on Karezza/Tantric, and the idea of conserving energy, enjoying the process over being goal/orgasm oriented and we focused on sharing her orgasm energy.

That was the end of orgasm with the wife. That left masturbation, which was becoming less fulfilling and caused a drop. It was decided that I'd give up masturbation, as it was reducing my interest and availability for sex with the wife. I have also been involved in kink for many years, and my wife was open to me having kink partners. While it wasn't about getting off, there was sexual contact (with wifes permission) and orgasms.

As strange as it may sound, we hung out like the Flintstones and the Rubbles with our best friends, and the wife there is/was my long-time kink partner. The husband passed away a few years ago, and we were moving, so we found a place with an apartment and "adopted" my play partner. My wife set some rules and we've modified them over time. Basically, we wanted to ensure that my wife was comfortable with what we do, and it was decided that there (we'd decided long ago that penetrative sex was over once we were house-mates) would be no orgasming for me, so that kink wasnt about me getting off. I could focus on Tantric and get relief from giving though. Then my wife developed a love of having me use a strap-on, on her and she decided that not allowing any penis/vaginal contact would make her more comfortable with my kink stuff, and let us focus on enjoying me servicing her. Add in her decision for me to wear my cb during her period and there you go. I get a variety of pleasures, as long as I'm willing to give up certain other ones and live with that. The real key is to be able to live with the desire and frustration and to focus on enjoying what you do get. I'm at the point where arousal creates a need to give, rather than have an orgasm, and that took quite a long time.

[poor]

My goal is simple, to honor my keyholder as she sees fit to incorporate chastity in our relationship. I have no personal goal about duration or any other act related to chastity, but I am open and willing (and desire) to have it as a part of our relationship. What part that plays, is up to her.

I can't put it any better than that.

[hot_toddy_dog]

I'm at the point where arousal creates a need to give, rather than have an orgasm, and that took quite a long time.

Second that, although that first part didn't take a long time for me, that happened relatively quickly (3-4 months). Mostly due to the pseudo-religious material I was reading regarding this at the time having a profound effect on my mental state.

Since then, I've gone a bit further in that although I sometimes still desire it, I have no need to receive stimulation of any kind to be completely happy and satisfied. That is what took a long time for me (8+ years... who can count any more).

[Finn]

I'm at the point where arousal creates a need to give, rather than have an orgasm, and that took quite a long time.

Second that, although that first part didn't take a long time for me, that happened relatively quickly (3-4 months). Mostly due to the pseudo-religious material I was reading regarding this at the time having a profound effect on my mental state.

Since then, I've gone a bit further in that although I sometimes still desire it, I have no need to receive stimulation of any kind to be completely happy and satisfied. That is what took a long time for me (8+ years... who can count any more).

We're pretty similar, but I get stimulation with no orgasm, and you get orgasm with no stimulation. I have managed to find relief in giving, but not as much since switching to using a strap-on with my wife, but still some. Some relief from giving orgasms to my girl, usually when I'm really focused and making her cum several times in a row. I have also found relief from very long edging sessions, where I've eventually OD'd on endorphins I think! I wish I could experience orgasm without stimulation and see how that would be.