Feedback needed.

[jnuts]

I just posted this blog less than an hour ago, and I feel like I need to post a retraction...

http://nuts4belle.wordpress.com/2010/12 ... f-freedom/

Not quite how things went down. I was given permission to use my fleshlight and I could barely get 3 strokes in without having to stop. I was talking to Belle online at the time and told her this.

Belle 11:17 am
Right where you like to be....
Jnuts 11:18 am
can i please cum?
Belle 11:19 am
What kind of keyholder would I be?
Your rule is not while I am not there.
Jnuts 11:20 am
one that would make me cum over the phone?
Belle 11:20 am
Call me. We will see.

Well, you can see where this went. We talked for a while and she let me cum. I one of our 3 rules...not being allowed to cum outside of her presence. Yes, technically she was on the phone so kinda in my presence, but still.

Now we both feel bad. I feel like shit for pushing her. She feels like shit for giving in. All this coming off an amazing cycle. We know this isn't the end of the world but WTF!

Feedback needed!

[likes2blocked]

Neither of you should 'feel like shit'. You're both having fun. The great thing about this is that you get to do it differently next time. Keyhldr has a rule that every time I beg to come, she extends the amount of time. Perhaps Belle should do the same.

[Dev]

My 2 cents: I think you need to lighten up a little. Yes, we all say that chastity is a major lifestyle change and so on, but I think it's important to remember that in many ways, it started as a game. It's a game that morphs and changes in ways we don't expect and becomes more than a game but even so...

There's no reason for you or Belle to feel bad. Maybe you changed the rules a little bit but so what? They're your rules and as I am fond of saying, rules are made to be broken. It sounds like you both had an amazing night last night and followed it up with a bit more amazing (for jnuts) this morning. That's all good. Enjoy it.

And the other thing to remember is, you put the cage back on, you start the cycle again and at the end, even more amazing is waiting for both of you. How exciting!

Have fun is my advice...

D

[mikecb]

Now we both feel bad. I feel like shit for pushing her. She feels like shit for giving in. All this coming off an amazing cycle. We know this isn't the end of the world but WTF!

Feedback needed!

It was an orgasm, not a murder. Keep in in perspective!

I'd suggest you guys talk it out. Perhaps you should institute a rule that says "We don't negotiate the rules when you're so horny you would rape a goat." That's not unlike Thumper's recent experience where they waited 12 hours to make a decision, rather than in the heat of the moment.

It's supposed to be about mutual pleasure. If, in retrospect, you guys decide that isn't what happened, then just commit to not letting it happen again. You'll be fine.

mikecb

[danj]

Not much to add, other than don't beat yourself up. I did some of that when I failed (more than once!)on the honor system. We're all human and will make mistakes.

[jnuts]

Thanks guys. We knew all this already but needed some encouragement. You guys are awesome.

Locked back up.

[Tom Allen]

Now we both feel bad. I feel like shit for pushing her. She feels like shit for giving in. All this coming off an amazing cycle. We know this isn't the end of the world but WTF!

Jeezus, guys. Nothing broke. Nothing expensive needed to be replaced. Nobody lost an eye.

It's just a freakin' orgasm, keep it in perspec... oh, Mike said that already.
Yeah, well, he's right.

Try to remember the "fun" part about this. You'll set a goal, and maybe you'll make it, maybe you won't.You're gonna top from the bottom sometimes. She's gonna give in early sometimes. But if the denial becomes simply about the denial, then you lose track of the fun part. Which was, presumably, the point of getting into it in the first place, right?

[Celtic Queen]

I'd agree with everyone here. Treat it as a cycle that's now finished and take lessons for the next one. If Belle still feels bad she can take it out on your backside, I tend to find that's rather therapeutic

[davidphd1866]

Please remember that one of the reasons you "feel like shit" is that you are likely having a genuine "ejaculation hangover". When you cum, there IS a release of prolactin that tells your body "enough". This effect lasts in varying degrees for about two weeks.

[Tom Allen]

Please remember that one of the reasons you "feel like shit" is that you are likely having a genuine "ejaculation hangover". When you cum, there IS a release of prolactin that tells your body "enough". This effect lasts in varying degrees for about two weeks.

Really? I don't remember any orgasm hangovers from back when I was dating. Nor even from back before Mrs,. Edge and I got into this. Generally, I feel pretty damn good.

Look, here's something about human nature: when people get into a new interest is they want to do it "right." It's not the guys who have been in chastity/denial for the last five years who are trying to set records, it's the people who are just starting off. Until now, maybe two weeks without coming was an eternity, but now you're looking at a month, maybe two. When you've done that, then you start focusing on your next "personal best."

But you don't have to set a record each and every time you play; if you do that, then very shortly you're going to try for something that's unmanageable, and instead of having fun, you're now focused on the goal... or at least, what you *think* is the goal, which in your hormone-fevered brain is some arbitrary time limit. Don't lose sight of the *real* goal, which is improved intimacy with your partner, which may or may not coincide with that time limit.