J- in some ways it sounds as though you are a lot like me. For a long time I had similar fantasies (and some even kinkier, like being subjected to a bukkake session and other homo-erotic stuff) which I hid away in my mind and never would have dreamed of revealing to Mrs. Twisted, it made me feel 'queer' (I'm not going to use 'gay'- that term has been twisted from its normal usage, 'queer' fits, it *IS* queer, it is not 'normal' [meaning that the bulk of mammalian sexuality is M-F interaction and homosexual behavior is a minority interaction] and I refuse to bow to pressure to be 'PC', much of what we do here could be perceived as 'queer' and I'm OK with that, I feel no need to force other people to accept my deviation from the norm), it made me feel like something was 'wrong' with me.Surely this isn't normal. But what fetish is normal? Does that desire make me gay? No...I REALLY like chicks. Bi? No...dudes do absolutely nothing for me. Wtf.
I *like* women, I have *always* liked women (never went through a 'girl-hating' phase as a child). The idea of a romantic relationship with a man is abhorrent to me, as is the idea of kissing another man (and is one of my absolute hard limits)...and yet, the idea of being forced to watch my wife being fucked by another man and to 'lick her clean' afterwards, as well as other homosexual activities *forced* at her (or another woman's) direction is erotic to me. The use of 'force' is integral to the fantasy, given a choice I would never engage in this sort of activity of my own free will.
However, at the beginning of this year, while I was pleasuring Mrs. Twisted with a realistic dildo (and she was teasing my cock), out of the blue she said "You like to watch me getting fucked, don't you." I almost shot off right then, and before I knew what I was saying, I told her that I did.
Some time after that (Weeks? A month or more?), while we were talking in bed she asked me if I ever had any [sexual] dreams about her. As it happened, though I rarely have dreams of any sort (at least, that I can remember), I *had* had a dream which involved her- I had dreamt that I was in a strange house, there were 3 other men present, she was naked and when I went to her and put my hand between her legs I found that her pussy was literally flooded with semen. Then I woke up (hard), that was the entirety of the dream, I had not watched her fucking anyone else and there was no direct suggestion that she *had* fucked anyone else, only the feeling that *I* had not been the one to fill her pussy with cum.
Ordinarily, I would have kept this to myself but she had caught me off-guard and, once again, I spoke without thinking and related the dream to her exactly as it happened (but not the sense or feeling that I had experienced). Little more was said about it that night, to my surprise she seemed to accept it without the shock that I would have expected her to have.
Some time after *that*, while I was pleasuring her orally she made the suggestion that I imagine that she had just been fucked by three men and that I was licking their cum out of her pussy...and once again my arousal was so intense that I very nearly lost control and shot my load right then. It was completely unexpected, to have this come from her- I had never dared to tell her that I had ever had any thoughts of doing such a thing, and the dream I had related to her did not include any suggestion whatsoever of this act.
Since then, she has 'teased' me with this a couple of times, and I know that she has dreamed about it (she talks in her sleep) and I *know* that the idea of her making me watch her getting fucked by other men, and making me lick her pussy afterward turns her on (she masturbates in her sleep as well). I'm still a little amazed that something I had thought would forever be a completely private (and somewhat humiliating) fantasy has been brought out into the open and has proceeded as far as it has, with her even participating in it.
She went to visit relatives and was gone for a week. When she returned this week, she had not been home for an hour and she began telling me about a dream she had while she was away- being in a bar with 3 men, and then me walking into the bar and asking what she was doing. She stopped there...so I asked her what happened next. Her response- "Do you really have to ask?" Not long after that, she made it a point to tell me that she was "...a one-man woman..." But, that night, after she fell asleep she began dreaming about me watching her fuck another man, making me suck her breasts while he was fucking her, and her making me eat her out afterward, talking out loud and frigging herself to orgasm (though she didn't awaken at her peak as she usually does). I really *did* suck on her breasts when she said to (in her dream) to help her along the way...and I was intensely aroused and desperately wishing I could get to my cock to give myself a little of what she was giving to herself.
Fuck. This is really screwing with my head. It turns *me* on, and it turns *her* on, but apparently her conscious mind is having some problems with it.
That little bit she told me [about her dream] has been on my mind for two days. I couldn't/can't stop thinking about it...for better or for worse, while she was at work yesterday I sent her a series of text messages...telling her that we should have all the fun that we can have while we're still young enough to enjoy it (we're straddling 50), that we shouldn't have any regrets for what we didn't do [that we might have wished we had] when we are sitting on the porch in our rocking chairs [to old to do anything but reminisce about days gone by], that I loved it when she got 'naughty' and 'nasty', telling her that she turned me on and that I *know* that it turns *her* on, reassuring her that nothing is 'wrong' for the Mistress and that she can make her dreams come true [if she wants to]. I also suggested that she shouldn't 'spoil' the fantasy by telling me what she *won't* do (after suggesting that she might) because if she thought about it long enough she might change her mind.
Damn.
It's an odd thrill/fear to think that something like this could/might *really* happen, and the more it appears that it could, the more erotic it becomes...