New to chastity, looking for keyholder

[deathrage]

So after getting many of my questions answered here (http://www.chastityforums.com/viewtopic ... 7&start=10) i am 99.99% certain i will be purchasing a steelheart from steelworxx in the near future. That being said, once i have the belt and am comfortable wearing it for extended periods of time i need to find someone to had my key over to since as of the moment i am quite single. After doing some quick google searches for keyholding services i have to say i am not feeling confident. All the sites i visited only gave me a feeling that i am nothing more than a person to be exploited for money. All I'm looking for is a female keyholder that is just as much into the chastity experience as me and willing to give a little bit of her time to hold my key and tease me while i am being denied access to my cock.

[Celtic Queen]

LOL ! Not after much are you Deathrage...

There are gents on here who have taken several years to convince the women they married to keyhold for them. Assuming you are merely after a play partner rather than a chaste relationship, I suggest checking out the local "munches" where there are BDSM players, fetlife or even the on line BDSM dating sites.

On the other hand, forgive my bluntness but if you are after a chastity based relationship, well, your cart is so far ahead of your horse, I'd suggest walking. May I suggest that you stop reading the wank fiction out there and apply some real world common sense. Women are never going to be into the chastity experience in the way that you are and simply asking one to hold the key to your device and tease you is demonstating a lack of understanding of the chastity dynamic (and women!!). Why should a woman do this for you - unless she is charging you? Being a KH takes communication, patience, love and understanding. Perhaps you are asking all the wrong questions.

Happy to help and advise but you need to hear a dose of realism. Either that or a higher limit on your credit card for all those "tributes".

[deathrage]

I appreciate your bluntness, in fact its quite a relief. What you have said makes allot of sense. Maybe i am getting a little ahead of myself. But that being said, i am not so naive as to be searching out a chastity based relationship when i am so "new to the game". I am simply looking for someone who would be willing to play.

As for what i meant for a woman who is just as into the chastity experience as me. I simply meant that they got their own enjoyment from it, weather it be the feeling of power having control of someones treasures, or the ego trip of having that person beg for release. But i digress, i am still quite new and probobly need to slow my roll and feel everything out. I apologize for sounding wreckless, i guess chalk it up to inexperience. thanks for the advice.

[Celtic Queen]

Don't worry, it is entirely new territory and sometimes the gender gulf never seems so wide! For you, this is a thrilling new thing that is all encompassing and constant. For a woman encountering this for the first time, it may seem odd, pervy, deviant and penis obsessed (please trust me on this!!). I saw in your earlier details that you have experimented in the more BDSM end of the spectrum and certainly a girl who has played about with power exchange is generally going to be more open to the discussion but back up a bit!! Is that all that you want to have in common?

Handing your sexuality over to another is an extraordinary thing to do and requires a lot of understanding, a certain level of maturity and huge amounts of communication. Or it could just be a kinky game that you play. Either way, never assume that women are going to see chastity as you do! Women's sexuality is a whole new ball game and I can tell you, guys three times your age haven't worked it out.

You are at a cross roads here. You can hand your key holder over to a play mate in the "scene" and hope for the best and that's a fantastic adventure of youth. Alternatively, you might seek a relationship with a special other and when the time is right, give that special person the gift of your sexuality in the form of a key when you have developed trust. Or do one and then the other and that's equally as valid.


I wish I was 24 and knew then what I know now, lol.

[deathrage]

I appreciate your willingness to help out a newcomer, it feels like a breath of fresh air. To be honest my dream KH would be someone i was in a relationship with and on the same level of commitment to this kind of lifestyle. Unfortunately i have allot of things working against me. My lifestyle/carer is a big hurtle, i would always need access to a "emergency key" for release durring certain "situations" and from what i understand some KH don't like this and they feel it may be abused. Then there comes the problem of where i live, i am an american living abroad in Germany. Searching out groups and whatnot that are into this kind of thing are hard enough in of itself, then you got language barrier which is a huge problem and a turn off for most. Then you toss in all the hurdles you mentioned and i have a serious hurdle to get over. Although the issues at hand seem daunting, i am sure at some point, weather it now or in a few years i will find someone to indulge my fantasies with. I just cant help but feel impatient.

[thumper]

I wish I was 24 and knew then what I know now, lol.

Oh god, yes.

[wishful4]

I wish I was 24 and knew then what I know now, lol.

Oh god, yes.

I'd settle for 40 and know what I know now.

[wishful4]

I appreciate your willingness to help out a newcomer, it feels like a breath of fresh air. To be honest my dream KH would be someone i was in a relationship with and on the same level of commitment to this kind of lifestyle. Unfortunately i have allot of things working against me. My lifestyle/carer is a big hurtle, i would always need access to a "emergency key" for release durring certain "situations" and from what i understand some KH don't like this and they feel it may be abused. Then there comes the problem of where i live, i am an american living abroad in Germany. Searching out groups and whatnot that are into this kind of thing are hard enough in of itself, then you got language barrier which is a huge problem and a turn off for most. Then you toss in all the hurdles you mentioned and i have a serious hurdle to get over. Although the issues at hand seem daunting, i am sure at some point, weather it now or in a few years i will find someone to indulge my fantasies with. I just cant help but feel impatient.

Deathrage, you are quite the brave lad to come out and put all your feelings on the table and ask for help. In a perfect world, CQ would happen to have a sister that is looking for a chaste male to live happily ever after with and you could be on the next train . In reality, there is someone out there for you, but you have to find them. The relationship comes first. When sufficient love and trust develops, you will feel comfortable enough to broach the subject with her. If you go out looking for a KH first, you are going to end up with someone that will take your money, break your heart, and leave you unfulfilled, or worse. It's okay to experiment with MC, but spend some quality time out there looking for "the one". She could be right under your nose.

[poor]

By all means call me deluded but consider this:

Let's suppose Deathrage gets his Steelheart and wears it every moment that his work allows. He's cool and comfortable(after at least a few weeks) with it and by chance he meets a young freuline at the PX. Their eyes meet and they make a date for wiener und schnitzel. He's a stand up guy and after several dates she's wondering why he's not trying to get into her lederhosen like all the other men she has dated. She decides to take action and his preference is discovered.

Sure she is surprised. But when he explains that being like this is what he enjoys and that it helps him to behave more as a gentleman and see her as more of a lady than a sex object (until the time is right) but when it does come out it's worth the wait for that special lady...

OK, it went cheesy with cheese on top but I think the OP may have an advantage to some of us; well, me certainly. He knows he wants this and he can do this for himself without being in a committed relationship and having to go through all the 'is this the man I am / supposed to be' guilt alongside 'you are not the man I thought you were' from a puzzled (to say the least) partner.

He has the opportunity to found his relationships on his terms and with partners who know what they are taking on. If he's open and honest I about it he stands a very good chance of a happy MC relationship.

[Tom Allen]

I wish I was 24 and knew then what I know now, lol.

Oh god, yes.

I'd settle for 40 and know what I know now.