How Do You Argue With Your KH?

Post by **Belle** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:53 pm

Tom Allen wrote: If anybody throws sex at you in the middle of an argument about something else, then your relationship has other issues that need to be discussed.

This needs to be shouted from a rooftop somewhere.

Post by **Tom Allen** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:23 pm

Belle wrote:
Tom Allen wrote: If anybody throws sex at you in the middle of an argument about something else, then your relationship has other issues that need to be discussed.
:rant:
This needs to be shouted from a rooftop somewhere.

And this is one of those chastity myth/stereotype thingies that I dislike. "You're locked up now, so you have to do what she says," along with the unspoken "... if you want to come."

First of all, if someone is going to withhold sex, then they're going to do it anyway, your own condition is irrelevant.

Second, threatening sex (or other relational things) when you're arguing about (say) your in-laws, or whatever, is adolescent. "If you don't let me play, then I'm gonna take my ball and go home!"

Third, while I'm glad that you're being a more considerate partner, it's not the $200 hunk of plastic. It's your own mindset. I mean, good on you, and all that, but don't turn your device into Dumbo's feather.

Okay, okay. If you want to play out your script and think that it makes you more manageable, that's great. But seriously? Having a device does not mean that you need to sublimate everything about yourself.

:/rant:

fonetik2003 · Post by **fonetik2003** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:43 pm

Yeah I heard that Tom! "Sexual weapons" don't actually get used in most relationships. Although as I said before, it's interesting to note that I'm a lot more passive and more willing to negotiate (whatever that may entail) now that I'm locked up and perpetually horny...

Post by **Celtic Queen** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 5:25 am

I'm afraid it's one of those chastity myth nonsense things up there with "she made me wear the device and now I'm a rubbermaid".....

Wearing a device and feeling more submissive might make you stop, turn down the testosterone a little and have a discussion but if there are underlying issues that need to be aired, well, they need to be aired regardless. If all is going well, you may find your arguments more constructive but just because you're chaste, it doesnt mean that you don't have a voice. I"d say it's also one of the responsibilities of the KH not to misuse the focus that the device gives too.

I guess what I'm saying is that you just have to be grown up.

Post by **Tom Allen** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:08 am

Celtic Queen wrote:II guess what I'm saying is that you just have to be grown up.

That's a lot shorter than what I wrote.

jnuts · Post by **jnuts** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:13 am

Celtic Queen wrote: I guess what I'm saying is that you just have to be grown up.

Ugh. I quit.

fuzzydunlop · Post by **fuzzydunlop** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 2:03 pm

Ah crap. I just usually pout and sulk, and think about how I am going to make her really, really irritated when I wank to porn.

fonetik2003 · Post by **fonetik2003** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:59 pm

You know? This reminds me of an argument I recently had with my KH about finding a new place to live. My parents want us to move back in with them to help take care of my stepmother as her health is deteriorating. I however staunchly say, "We do not negotiate with terrorists!" We still really should find a new place to stay... While we could just simply renew our lease, I'd much rather be somewhere else... So I just sent my KH an email with a link to a good housing website and remind her that it's there on a regular basis! We have until the end of the month to make up our minds here, but I'd like to do it sooner and she's taking her sweet time, and so we have an occasional spat about that... The point is, just because her cock is locked up doesn't mean that I can't say anything or voice my opinions! It's all mental anyway and as long as I can win that battle, I'm good!

fuzzydunlop · Post by **fuzzydunlop** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:29 pm

It's fun for me to feel all mushy and take direction when I am being "kept". It kind of feels like when we first starting dating, and impressing each other was just a touch higher on the priority list. But at the end of the day, it is a fun sexual practice for me/my wife, and it cannot dominate the dynamic of us working together to achieve common goals while under demanding circumstances. We are both emotional people who want to please each other, and sometimes, a good fight leads to a lot of communication, so long as we fight fair and are not inconsiderate of each other's feelings.

cb6000s · Post by **cb6000s** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:47 pm

We have just entered into a new phase of our relationship and I can no longer argue with my KH.
She has spanked me because I like it but it doesn't do anything for her. We were playing a few days ago and she slapped my face. Boom! I'm in sub space and she has a sexual jolt.
She is a little freaked because in our culture slapping a person's face is about the worst insult you can give a person. I am happy becuase sub space is where I want to be.

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