[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Tongue+groove]

. Also men are like waffles, everything is in the little squares and they don't touch, women are like spaghetti and everything touches everything else.

So well put.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Yesterday started rough.
I was emotionally off, still processing the weight of having to bring up hard feelings again. I wasn’t in the mood for anything sexual. I just wanted to feel close to Red without the pressure of performance. But I didn’t want to let her down either.

She came to bed soft and playful, with that wicked glint in her eye. She kissed me, straddling me gently, and I asked, between kisses, if I could speak. I told her I was emotionally spent and asked if we could just keep kissing for a while, so I could feel close to her before being sent down to serve. She didn’t hesitate. She gave me that space without losing her dominance. That was all I needed. My body started responding almost immediately.

I went down on her, did what she’s taught me to do, but I noticed something I’ve been seeing more lately. Less wetness, more distraction, like her body was there but her mind wasn’t fully in it. It’s been like this for about a week or two. She’s been sick, so maybe that’s all it is. But a part of me wonders if something’s shifting. If she’s getting less satisfaction from oral, or maybe craving a different kind of sex.

I didn’t push. I stayed present.

She eventually asked for the strap-on, and we chose one of the larger dildos, far bigger than me. It took a while, but she got there. And I got something too:
Confirmation.
The way she breathes, moans, the way her body reacts to that kind of penetration. It’s different. Not better emotionally, maybe, but physically, undeniably stronger. It’s humbling. She says my cock is just as good, but I’ve seen the difference.

Still, I gave her what she needed. I stayed in my place. And when she came, I figured the night was over.

It wasn’t.

She told me to get on all fours.

She stared at me, at my locked cock, my hanging balls, and reached between my legs with her freshly painted red nails. The visual contrast was striking. She admired how my balls looked, how they “popped out,” as she put it. We ended up choosing one of the photos she took for her new Fetlife profile picture.

Then she started slapping them.
Even harder than before. I felt nauseous, but she gave me just enough space to keep going.

I’d already taken a number of hits, progressively harder and when I thought we were done she said, “Let’s begin.”

Sixteen more hits. Counted aloud. Two extra just because. It hurt. Deep, nauseating pain. But she paced it just right. Just enough pause to keep me present, not broken. She pushed me hard, but never too far.

And the whole time she enjoyed herself. I asked afterward if she liked hitting my balls. She smiled and said, “Yes. A little too much.” That answer left me aching physically, emotionally, and in all the right ways. I felt proud. Exposed. Owned.

I even told her I’d like to be treated like that in front of others one day. At a play party, maybe. She didn’t say yes. But she didn’t say no either.

After everything, she looked at me softly and asked if I needed to be held.

I curled into her as the small spoon, locked, sore, and raw. And I fell asleep in her arms.

The day started in doubt and emotional fatigue. It ended in pain, surrender, and something that felt closer to truth than anything I’ve known.

Whatever this is becoming… it’s real.

And I am hers.

[Chosen_Jackal]

The weather has been incredible this week, and we’ve visited extended family twice to relax on the beach and enjoy some quality time together.
Yesterday was another long day of sunbathing, swimming, and pure relaxation.
So I didn’t expect anything from Red when we got home. I was certainly tired and spent from doing nothing, and Red seemed to feel the same way.

She got to bed a few minutes before me and was already half-asleep, so I felt confident in my assumptions. I wasn’t disappointed. It had already been a great day.
We’d even shared a very intimate moment after returning from the beach, shivering together as we took our time cleaning each other’s bodies of saltwater and sweat.
Lots of sensual touching.
And I simply love being so close to her, with my cock locked and aching, while she ignores it completely.
Well, not completely. She did make sure it was cleaned properly.
No uncaging, though.

It turned out she wasn’t completely ready for sleep. She opened her arms and told me to snuggle in and rest my head on her chest.
I’m happy to say that was everything I wanted in that moment:
to rest my head on her, feel taken care of, and listen to her breathing as we both fell asleep.

She started lazily toying with my nipple…

Slowly, gently at first. Enough to keep me from falling asleep, but not enough to rouse me completely.
It felt incredible. She’s really taken to playing with them over the past few months, and they’ve gotten more sensitive than I ever imagined they could.
Every now and then, she’d flick it with her nail, and it would jolt me awake and fully back into the moment.
It didn’t take long before I felt the cage getting really tight.

I still wasn’t sure if this was just teasing before sleep, or the start of something more.

Another thing that’s changed between us over time is how much more comfortable I’ve gotten with being desperate, almost needy, around her. I’ve always been afraid of that being a turn-off, but it’s clear she gets turned on by seeing me lose control.
So I started grinding my ass into her hips as she kept toying with my nipples, and after a while, I couldn’t help myself.
“Please. Let me do something for you as well!”

She replied in a flat tone.
“Why? You’re useless.”

Rejection has never been hotter.
I was still lying there as the little spoon, desperate to feel more, and also craving to feel her body.
I think I must’ve been moaning loudly at this point, from desperation, frustration, and arousal.
She sealed the deal when I heard the familiar buzzing of her vibrator start to work.
She truly didn’t need me.

I would have been completely happy to lie there in my frustration and listen to her make herself come.
It’s still over two weeks before I even have the chance to see if I’ll get an orgasm or not, so I’m more than happy to bear witness to hers.
But it turned out I’m not completely useless after all.
My cock might be, but she still has use for my fingers and she’s gotten greedy lately.

She told me to turn around and slide two fingers in to massage her g spot.
It’s hard to describe the feeling of joy and validation I felt in that moment.
Seconds later she came hard.
I licked my fingers clean, and she told me to turn around again and go to sleep.
No ceremony.
Just perfect.

[KnownAsHerbert]

We’d even shared a very intimate moment after returning from the beach, shivering together as we took our time cleaning each other’s bodies of saltwater and sweat.
Lots of sensual touching.
And I simply love being so close to her, with my cock locked and aching, while she ignores it completely.
Well, not completely. She did make sure it was cleaned properly.
No uncaging, though.

We do a lot of showering together these days. I know what you mean about loving being close at this time and remaining locked throughout. It is a special moment, I totally agree.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Officially done with the first week of our experiment, where Red rolls a die to determine what kind of attention I can expect for the coming week.
We roll on Fridays, and last week she kicked things off by rolling a 1.

In many ways, it was the worst possible result. It meant no uncaging and no rolling the following week, effectively giving me two weeks without any stimulation outside the cage.
And let’s not forget, there’s still a 1-in-6 chance she’ll roll another 1 next time.

Oh, and she decided to add another week, just because she didn’t like the way I laughed at something she said…

So now it’s still two more weeks until I get to see what happens next.



We had another day with family yesterday. My father turned 76, so his sisters and their families came to visit.
Red really shows her best side in these situations. I’m better at food prep and cooking, while she takes care of organizing the rest of the party.

We work well as a team, but lately it feels natural to let her lead.
She makes sure all the guests feel welcome and taken care of, and I’m proud of the way she carries herself socially.



We didn’t have much time to ourselves yesterday, so I was happy to get the chance to give her an orgasm before we went to sleep.
We seem to have to work a little harder for them lately, but that only makes them feel more rewarding. She seemed completely spent afterward.

I really enjoy creeping into her arms afterwards and just being close to her. That’s often when we have some of our best conversations.



She needed some reassurance last night. She asked me if I’m still happy with our new lifestyle, if this dynamic is really working for me, or if she’s the only one having fun while I’m left frustrated and neglected.

Before answering, I asked her if she still feels like she has to reciprocate after receiving pleasure.
She admitted that it’s always in the back of her mind, that her instinct is still to give back, but it’s easier to be “selfish” now than it was at the beginning.



I felt a mix of emotions at that.
Joy, because she enjoys our lifestyle and still wants me to feel good. It’s beautiful to hear that she thinks about my pleasure and wants me to experience it.

But also a little sadness. Sad that she still feels pangs of guilt after receiving without giving in return.
And even more so because part of her still doubts that the greatest pleasure I feel is from giving her my undivided attention.

Being denied is part of what makes this dynamic so powerful for me.



So I told her exactly that.
And also that it’s not like I don’t want physical pleasure myself. I do. Almost all the time, desperately so.

But the fact that I crave it and can’t have it exactly when I want it is what makes this work so well.
I need to know, with absolute certainty, that when she does choose to touch me, whether she’s teasing my nipples, edging me, busting my balls, flogging me, or even letting me orgasm, it’s because she wants it.

Not out of obligation. Her will. Her desires. Her decision.

That’s what matters most to me.
That’s how I feel loved, wanted, and most of all, chosen.

So two more weeks. At least.
That’s nothing compared to a lifetime of this.