Simply, why?

[Spaceman]

For.me there are two reasons, the first is that wearing a cage has led to me handing over total.control to my wife and although we've never called it that we effectively have an FLR in all matters intimate. Thats something we both enjoy. That then leads to her controlling when I cum, and the longer between just heightens the sensations running through me and also means my reaction when she touches me are heigtened, which she enjoys seeing.
With regards to cages I have four sizes, none of which are as big as any website would suggest, the shortest is 4mm and the largest 40mm and each of them affect me in different ways, as @KHEmmi says the smallest give me least sensation and the largest most, both enjoyablein very different ways. However I've spent most time this year in the smallest as my wife likes what it does (and she bought it).

[KHEmmi]

@Spaceman
It's almost inevitable that a FLR happens.
In our case, it's not just for matters intimate and that's not through intention. It just evolved that way. Fortunately, we're both happy with how it is.

I agree the 4 cages all affect Herbs in different ways, and I like them all in different ways too.
They all have their own pros and cons and it would be difficult for me to choose an absolute favourite.
The 38mm cage, his largest, drives him wild with frustration and I do like that.
Luckily, for me, it's easy to keep clean and can be worn pretty much indefinitely.

(And none of our 4 are as big as websites would tell us we should buy either)

[Chosen_Jackal]

We certainly have strong elements of FLR in our relationship now, and we both agree that we want to take this further as time goes on.
She has all the power when it comes to intimacy and sex. I’m both free and welcome to approach her and try to initiate some kind of intimacy, but she decides completely how and if anything happens.
She’s grown so much more comfortable with turning me down if she’s not in the mood without any feelings of guilt or worry about my reaction. She enjoys the power she holds over me, and to be honest, so do I.

There are certain areas and topics in our daily lives where I’m simply more knowledgeable and experienced, so she doesn’t try to impose herself there, but I try to run everything by her so her opinion is included in the decision making.
Our goal is to find the right balance where it’s clear that she has final say if there’s any ambiguity about the right outcome, but we have to keep a practical sense of things as well.
But we’re already at the point where I defer to her decision if she tells me how something should be or done.
I’m of course allowed to voice my opinion if I believe there’s something she’s not taking into consideration, and she respects me enough to listen to me, but the decision is ultimately hers to make.

[KHEmmi]

There are certain areas and topics in our daily lives where I’m simply more knowledgeable and experienced, so she doesn’t try to impose herself there, but I try to run everything by her so her opinion is included in the decision making.

Of course, I would never make a decision that went against Herbi when it involves something that he knows best.

But most other things are now up to me.
What and when and where we eat, whether or not he can use his laptop, what chores he does, what he wears, whether or not he can have another beer (or even a first beer)...
And many other things. Of course.
Anything he wants, he asks.
He knows the answer might be no.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I don’t know if we’ll ever get to that place, but it would be interesting to try.
Maybe there’s more space for our dynamic to evolve further when the kids are out of the house.

[Tongue+groove]

. don’t know if we’ll ever get to that place, but it would be interesting to try.
Maybe there’s more space for our dynamic to evolve further when the kids are out of the house.

For Miss emmie and herbi this dynamic may be working. But like c_j I don’t think we could ever get to that point. “Kids” is the key here. I couldn’t imagine having them around at the moment. The real key to the word “kids” is when does the relationship get to the point that she treats him like a child.

That would never work for either of us. It may work for some, just not for us.

[Tom Allen]

Interested to know what anyone thinks about why longer term denial works so well.

I'm going to skip all the stuff about hormones, and the romantic stuff, and skip right to my own observations.

Sometimes wanting is better than having.

Birthdays as a child are fun. You know that something is coming, you get to anticipate all the great presents and parties and cake. Then the next day is just a 364 day slog to the next one.

I have discovered that the feeling of being *almost* there is hot, exciting, and can sustain me long enough until the next time. It's like being on a roller coaster right up until the last half second before you drop over the downside.

For several years, we have totally taken my orgasm out of the equation. My wife doesn't give it any thought except in the sense that I had to ask permission if I felt it getting close. But even that changed, and she has decided to simply not allow them anymore. For a couple of years she allowed it twice a year, and last year none at all. It did not change my - or her - satisfaction with out lovemaking one bit.

[waki86]

A good question why is it better.

I have always had that I felt sorry when I came.
I found the feeling just before coming the best and most enjoyable.
Over the years I also learned to hold out as long as possible in order not to come.
But there always came a point of no return.
The desire and drive after coming then disappeared like a dark cloud in the sun.
Miss R is someone who usually wanted multiple orgasms. I myself felt that when I had come I no longer really had the drive for it.
Even though I continued to spoil her, and she herself thought I was doing well.
That was not the case for my own feeling.
I no longer really felt like giving her the other orgasms, which she deserved in my eyes and feelings.
She has always had a kind of fetish with sperm.
She loves it and also liked to experiment with it.
So I did not want to disappoint her in that.
Of course we discussed that regularly.
She didn't mind as much that my drive disappeared because of it.

At one point she came up with the idea to start practicing chastity.
What I didn't like about locking up Mr Pomukeltje and not having any say in it anymore.
It also took a year or two before I agreed to do it.
Of course I had looked up some things at that time and thought yes maybe it would be something.
Being excited, not being able to come, only coming when it's allowed etc.
We picked out a cage together, which now that I look at it was huge 5 cm.
But it fit perfectly and was also wonderful.
I immediately thought it looked exciting on me.
Which made me even more excited.
Of course I also got a bit frustrated that I couldn't play with myself.
Bringing myself almost to the climax and enjoying the feeling. Miss R did notice that it worked well, did everything she could to keep her satisfied.
Her orgasms also got better.
And I enjoyed that immensely.
But I wanted to have that release afterwards when she had had everything.
Miss R unlocked after a while and was allowed to come.
I was looking forward to it being allowed.
But when I came, it was something I didn't really want.
I got frustrated about that again and the desire to please Miss R disappeared.
It also took a long time before it came back.
According to Miss R, I wasn't really a nice person either.
She had already gotten used to the caring, understanding and good lover who would do anything for her.
I missed that part myself.
Somehow I enjoyed it much more now.
A longer delay might be better for both of us.
She noticed that by delaying it longer, she could make me do the weirdest things without giving any resistance.
And her self-confidence also improved.
I was her toy that she could play with and that she enjoyed.
I noticed that I actually enjoyed being frustrated and excited and not being able to come.

Postponing my ejaculation for longer didn't work. I kept falling back into the same thing.
Other people around me also noticed that when I had come, my behavior changed.
The cages became smaller and the feeling more intense.
The first time I had a kind of orgasm, I didn't know what was happening.
It felt so wonderful and that without coming.
Then when I was allowed to come once after that because Miss R wanted my sperm.
It wasn't nice at all, I got confused.
It took almost a month before I was my new self again.
Without saying anything,
Miss R decided not to let me come anymore.
After our evaluation conversation, she also said it is better for both of us that you do not come anymore.
She had also found another way to still get what she wanted herself.
This without me having a relapse and would also keep us both happier.
The orgasms I get are heavenly.
And I think it feels the same way as a woman gets them.
I also have shock waves that go through my body, and I stay excited.
My whole body feels tingling and I get excited by the rushing things.
I still sometimes get frustrated that I cannot come.
But when I have had an orgasm, it is gone.
And of course I also have the need to come during an almost orgasm.
Miss R loves to tease me, to be able to play with me for a long time.
And to use me for her own pleasure.
I enjoy it immensely and feel good and comfortable with it.
And I am satisfied with my own self.
And the sex is much better and more intense than the regular way.

For us it works perfectly this way.
We complement each other perfectly, and we also learn new things all the time.
And we can discover the unconscious and conscious desire together.
As a person we have also grown and discovered new things about ourselves.
Because we do it together and give each other what we need at the moment.
For me chastity is more than just sex and abstaining from ejaculation.

Thats Why.

[Tongue+groove]

. For us it works perfectly this way.
We complement each other perfectly, and we also learn new things all the time.
And we can discover the unconscious and conscious desire together.
As a person we have also grown and discovered new things about ourselves.
Because we do it together and give each other what we need at the moment.
For me chastity is more than just sex and abstaining from ejaculation.

This is the best description ever. This should be the reason anyone does this.

Thank you.

[waki86]

. For us it works perfectly this way.
We complement each other perfectly, and we also learn new things all the time.
And we can discover the unconscious and conscious desire together.
As a person we have also grown and discovered new things about ourselves.
Because we do it together and give each other what we need at the moment.
For me chastity is more than just sex and abstaining from ejaculation.

This is the best description ever. This should be the reason anyone does this.

Thank you.

Actually yes why everyone should do it.
I can only say give it a try and see what it brings you together.
And if it doesn't work right away.
Talk about it together without attacking each other so that people can develop themselves at their own pace.
It's not your dick that makes you a man, but your personalities. And go with the flow.