[Planetary] Hopefully we get somewhere this time...

[Planetary]

So I've had a couple of false starts along the chastity journey.

I really started off cross-dressing and being interested in BDSM and female dominance. I loved dressing up as a french maid, but never as much as I wanted and never found anyone like minded to share my infatuation with.

About 15 years ago I met my future wife and we clicked immediately, unfortunately she is very vanilla and not interested in CD, although we have played around with a little light bondage.

Chastity cages caught my attention again about 3 years ago and I did secretly buy a couple to try out, after a conversation with my wife about giving her more control in bed. She wasn't interested in chastity play, and when she found out she was pretty upset.

Same as when I've been found indulging in Cross Dressing and buying womens underwear.

2 weeks ago when we were having sex she asked me if there was anything I was interested in trying. I honestly confessed that I wanted to give her more control and try orgasm denial.

First week went really well. We had sex everyday with me not coming until the last day.

We are in the 2nd week now and things are getting a bit bumpy, she is very stressed out thinking about Christmas coming up.

I'm really hoping that we can pick and try a chastity cage together.
Making sure that I'm thinking of her needs will help me get there.

[Tongue+groove]

As you said in your intro, communication.

Might I add, patience and don’t push her, enjoy the journey.

[Planetary]

Yes, I 100% agree.
I have to take it slowly and discuss things as she asks about it or wants to talk.

I feel like I've wasted so much time and missed too many opportunities for this.

As well as nearly trashed our relationship

Still, I feel like I'm on a positive path now.

[Planetary]

So, we had a really good night last night, and talked more about orgasm denial.

My Princess is worried that she's manipulating me!

She is on board with orgasm denial and with her being in control of when I cum, and she has noticed that I'm more on top of the chores and the house is tidier.

Still a long way to go, but on the right path

[InversionOfControl]

My wife went through a period of hesitation over fear of manipulating me too. I repeatedly explained, I WANT her to manipulate me lol make me horny, order me around, take what you want from me without asking or apologising. It literally took years of her pushing that boundary and testing the waters to truly understand that it does actually make me happy, yes really.

It just takes time to build that confidence and dynamic. Gonna build on it every day. Good luck to yall!

[Planetary]

I've been feeling really down the last couple of days, my wife has been stressed out about work and organising stuff for Christmas. So she's not interested in sex. I also didn't get some things around the house actioned (I should have been looking for new light shades). So she was annoyed at me.

We had planned on me being allowed to cum on Tuesday, but that didn't happen and she hasn't spoken about sex or denial, so I was feeling that she had totally forgotten about it and wasn't interested now.

This morning she's still stressed out, but said:
"You've got what you want in real life now!"

Meaning she wasn't forgotten and is denying me
This turned me on alot, and I need to tell her about this.
I have to remember that this is on her terms, not mine.

[Mr Pickle]

I've been feeling really down.

I hope you don't mind my saying. This is normal, especially at the beginning. The best way to deal with these downs due to lack of attention or being forgotten about is to treat them like a test. Rather than realising she isnt thinking of your being locked or giving attention. Think She is testing you. Testing your patience.
And at some point she will find time to appreciate the patience you have shown.
It will all come together eventually.

[Tongue+groove]

This morning she's still stressed out,

It seems that for most women the stresses of life take priority over intimacy. That’s one of a few reasons why I labeled my journey the way I did. She will be so matter of fact and vanilla, then when stressors leave she becomes an unpredictable animal.

This is why back, foot, and neck massages are critical. Provide non-reciprocal relaxing events and she will let you dive into providing proper relaxation o’s.

And keep in mind the test mr. Pickle spoke of. She probably has a stronger will than you do, so she will hold out to see how bad you want it.

[Planetary]

Last night we had a long discussion about l sex, denial, stress and why my wife was frustrated with me.
Very good, and I wish I could remember more details now that I'm coming to write about it.
Basically she was annoyed that I was not working on the jobs we had put on our list, but was just messing around watching YouTube instead. Totally justified.

We ended up going to bed, just planning on having a cuddle and watching some TV, but the cuddles turned to kisses and she wanted me inside her.
We had PIV and she came first, then she wanted to feel me to cum inside her (with a condom), this time I asked her to tell me when I could cum, and she told me to just as she was cumming a 2nd time. Climaxing together was really nice, and this was my 1st orgasm in 13 days.

This morning I gave her a foot massage and painted her toenails and just cuddled and kissed.
I'm feeling pretty happy today, but I can feel a bit of the post orgasm drop in mood.

[Planetary]

Things are looking good again today and last night, lots of cuddles and kissing, and my wife seems to be enjoying me being super attentive again.

But, the end of last week, 24th - 29th November I was not in the good books.

Just looking back at my previous post I came on the 21st (Thursday), and by the following Monday I was back to my old "normal" self and by Friday 29th she was really annoyed with me. I didn't follow up on things I said I would do and she was very stressed out.
I think that post O I'm down for about a week before getting back to my New Normal self, being attentive and like we were when we were first dating. Which we both enjoy more.

Is this something normal?
Will a ruined orgasm help keep me at my New Normal and stop me going back to my old self?