The Big question.

[Mr Pickle]

Ok. So over four years in and my wife has asked the big question. Why?

After deciding I would be locked for the week the conversation went like this:

"So you like being locked. You prefer it to coming out and being edged" ?

"Nope" .

"But you get horny when I tell you I'm keeping it locked and not going to edge you or anything" .

"Yes.. I'm assuming you'll be using me" ?

"Yes.. But. I could use you AND edge you but you'd rather be locked" ?

"Nope. I'm happy to be locked for you, if that' makes sense?"

"No. It doesn't. Then why? does it make you horny if I say your Not getting any of what you actually want"?

"Well.. It's about control, Um. The fact that your doing it or not erm.. You being selfish by erm. "

"Think about it. Tell me in a way that makes sense to me. One sentence" .

"OK, I'll think about it and try to phrase it in a way that makes sense.. When I've worked it out myself" .

And now she awaits an answer.
honestly I don't know how to describe this so it will make sense.

Her being assertive turns me on. Showing that she has the key so has control. Using me selfishly without pity. Making me desperate for her.
This all makes me dizzy with lust and gives and incredible high at times.
But it isn't a why.
I could give an example from this year. The best and worst thing she did.

I had been locked for a week on holiday. Tongue and Toys went with us C came lots. We came home, and I fully expected to get out for play. C told me "You have been a very good boy on holiday, but I'm going to keep you locked up. As a treat I'll let you eat my pussy in the morning instead ".

Blew my mind, holy fuck what a surge of lust and hunger and want. What a rush hormones. I was so swollen, so dizzy, afraid, excited...

The following morning I was asked to come and do my job.
C gave me the key "I felt sorry for you, so changed my mind".
Now I felt disappointed.

I can see why my wife wants a clear answer to this question.

So. One sentence.

Anyone have a sentence that would make sense to a woman?

[Tom Allen]

"Your denial of something I want makes me feel owned and controlled, like a wild animal you have put on a leash."

"When you deny me, I am full of want and desire for you, which makes me feel like we are just dating again."



I dunno, I can't really explain it to my wife either.

[Mr Pickle]

"Your denial of something I want makes me feel owned and controlled, like a wild animal you have put on a leash."

"When you deny me, I am full of want and desire for you, which makes me feel like we are just dating again."



I dunno, I can't really explain it to my wife either.

Not just me then.

I recall you writing something along the lines of.
" I gave you this control and It's the fact that you use that control that turns me in so much".

So maybe

"It's that you use the control I have given you to deny me that turns me on, and enables you to make me feel as nervously excited as our first date, or like a caged, hungry wild animal".

Maybe.. Meh. All I do know is I can't get enough of that selfish, confident, just a little bit mean sexy woman that occasionally pops up, flexes, makes me very excited and afraid before retreating back to her adorable wife form.

[Tom Allen]

Mrs Edge is not the introspective type, so at some point she just accepted that denying me just turned me on. She came to feel that it wasn't harming me and that in fact, it led to more fun for her. Since she was already intrigued by the idea from the start it was not as much of a leap for her.

We've obviously taken this to more of an extreme, but we've run into issues with me trying to explain why the idea of being locked permanently is such a turn on... and why after nearly six years it's *still* hot to think about.

We've settled in to just accepting it. I mean how do you explain why you like/don't like asparagus, or seafood, or the color yellow?

[Sam3655]

I think you have your sentence Mr Pickle with….All I know is I can’t get enough of that selfish etc etc. then add and the cage brings out the best in both of us. A bit of a run on sentence but a sentence none the less. Good luck with it.

[ponylady]

All I do know is I can't get enough of that selfish, confident, just a little bit mean sexy woman that occasionally pops up, flexes, makes me very excited and afraid before retreating back to her adorable wife form.

Let me 2nd sam.
That captures what i read in your very entertaining journal.
It expresses that you like what she does for herself.

Don‘t try to elaborate, unless she asks & you might
„Turn the tables“ to discern what she is really wanting to
Know.

[Mr Pickle]

Thanks all. I'll consider adding the cage brings the best out of both of us. I think it's C who does that, but maybe the cage helps?
Ill have practice it so I can get it out in one breath and don't forget how to speak when the eye brow raises.. I don't like the eye brow, it's nearly as scary as hands on hips.. Crikey!

[Tom Allen]

Okay, I thought about this. The reason why it's hard to explain is because the question has an answer, and a meta answer.

The answer is "Of course I want to be unlocked and have an orgasm." I mean who doesn't?

But the meta answer; that is, the explanation when you step outside of the situation and view yourself from above, is that allowing yourself to be controlled (in a safe and loving way) is *really* what you're after. The illusion of having given up control, of not knowing what comes next, of not having a choice, of not getting what you want is actually the hot, exciting part.

I used to explain it to Mrs Edge that I wanted both an orgasm and to be denied at the same time. Since I can't have that*, it was hot for her to make the decision for me, and it added to the illusion of giving up conttol when she more often opted for the denial.

*Her learning to give me caged orgasms ended up being a twist that - sort of - allowed both at the same time.

[Mr Pickle]

So I have what I consider to be My sentence and I'm waiting for C to be ready to hear it.

This isn't the line, just my thoughts

I like who I am when I'm controlled, played with or teased.
But after a full orgasm, Suby Mr complient says "Meh! See you in a few days, maybe a week".

It can be disappointing because I miss that feeling of being controlled, used and abused.

When locked, teased and denied, It's frustrating because I want to come, I want to have an erection, I want to feel it being stroked and sliding into your incredibly soft pussy.
It's this "want" that gives you the control because without your permission I can't have any of these things... Ever.

So I have to be good, in order to have a chance at an orgasm. I have to wait, be perfect and earn it. While at the same time you consider the cost of a few seconds of mind blowing orgasmic bliss for me compared to up to a week of sad, angry, lazy me not being submissive.
Then decide how often you would like me to have full orgasms. Because at the end of the day. It's your call.
This is why it's both exciting and terrifying.

[ponylady]

Sounds good, if you‘re asked to elaborate