[newbie] Starting again

[newbie]

There really isn't much to report right now, she is out of town for work and this time I didn't lock up and give her the key. I left that all at home, and only self lock when I feel that I need it to prevent masturbation, like today... .

I think the plan going forward is to keep chastity as a part-time thing and wear it at home most of the time. I'm not really into wearing it 24 hrs a day and don't think it would really benefit me or her to do so. I still want to make our bedtime sessions all about her, but want to be able to unlock quickly if she feels the need. I'll let her know that I will unlock whenever she wants me to, but will stay locked in bed unless she says so. I feel that keeping the device as part of our play is important, and it will show her that I am still serious about it and am willing to keep wearing it. Hopefully this will show her that it's not a passing fad or a kink that will go away on it's own.

I must admit that I did "fall off the wagon" last Friday in that I was pretty horney while wearing my device and decided to try using our vibrating massager against my device and balls since I had never tried it before.
At first nothing happened when I tried it against my balls and perineum even though it felt good, but then I put it against the cage and it gave me a strange sensation. It felt like my member was asleep or something, but then all of a sudden I felt this wave of orgasm come across me and I proceeded to cum. I came alot but there was no erection (obviously) or touching of any kind except for the massager. It felt great as it relieved over a months worth of pent up stress and horneyness but then soon after I felt just as horney as I did before. The perfect ruined orgasm. I felt bad for doing it, but I knew she was going to be gone on another trip for over a week and was pretty sure I couldn't last much longer. I was becoming very distracted and horney, and it was becoming more and more difficult to focus at work and home.

I was free for the weekend and then have been self locked on and off ever since.

[newbie]

I've been giving this some thought, and I think what I might do is see if I can get her at least a little bit involved in me wearing the device (primarily to bed). What I'm considering is to ask her to please tell me to "put the device on!" or "are you locked?" or "is the device on?" if we get to bed and I start getting frisky and she's just not in the mood. Chances are that I will probably already be wearing it, but I need to hear her tell me to put it on. ON the flip side, if we get to bed and we're both in the mood and getting turned on, and if she wants me unlocked, that she can just tell me to take that thing off. I think that this would at least put her in some control with regards to when I am locked or unlocked in bed without her having to be burdened with the whole "being the keyholder" thing, which she obviously doesn't want right now. I think keeping her involved in the *game* will benefit both of us, and give me clearer direction in the bedroom as to what she wants or doesn't want to do. She was frustrated the last time we fooled around in bed because she wanted me inside her but I was locked and she had the key in some pocket of her suitcase. This way she can just tell me to unlock and I can do so quickly. On the flip side, if I start going down on her and she doesn't want it to go any farther than that, then she can tell or ask me (see above) to get locked or make sure I'm locked. That would be really hot for me, and she would be confident that I wouldn't try to take things further than she wants.

I think I'll talk to her about this when she gets home from her trip next week. Speaking of her trip, aside from that one time I used the vibrator to bring me to a ruined orgasm, I've been trying my best to behave and keep from having another orgasm. Except for last Friday, I haven't cum since May 2nd (and that was to masturbate) and I seem to get hornier every day now. I've been locking myself up every evening and staying locked all night trying to prevent another mishap. So far so good. My wife and I haven't had PIV sex since April 24th so I'm not surprised at her frustration last time.

[newbie]

Well, I'm back. After being "offline" since June I've decided to revisit this site and see what's going on. Alot has been going on with me since I was here last, most importantly (at least for this forum) was that I gave up on chastity. Or at least I thought I had.

Looking back on it now, I don't recall any one specific thing that happened or didn't happen to make me give it up, it just seemed to be how the whole chastity "experiment" went. As you might recall from my earlier forum entries, things weren't going that well with my wifes acceptance of me being in a chastity device, or for the whole concept of male chastity for that matter. I had tried to make it all about her but that didn't seem to matter to her, she had no interest in it. Period. After a while of me wearing it and giving it time, it was apparent that she wasn't going to move from her position on the subject so then it sort of became "what's the point?". It's no fun being locked up if nobody cares, and if it turns your spouse off, so I made the decision to get rid of all my stuff. Yes, I know, I could have tried to sell them here or on ebay or something, but I needed to get them away from me as soon as possible to eliminate any second thoughts. So I threw everything away. And I felt much better about the whole thing........for a while.

July was a really busy month for us as we tried to cram as many trips and long weekends as possible into those 31 days, so there wasn't much time to think about much esle. My wife and I didn't have alot of sex during that time, and eventually I started to masturbate again. To be honest, I started edging myself to where I would get a nice hard erection and try and maintain that for as long as possible. My thinking was that my penis had been in my devices long enought so that it was to the point that I wouldn't get real hard anymore when not in the device. It had also become much more sensitive to the touch, so when my wife and I would attempt to have sex I would remain fairly soft and then would cum with the slightest amount of touch. Not real fun for her. We're still working on that even to this day. Anyway, to help with this I would edge myself trying to reinvigorate things and make them less sensitive, but invariably I would on occassion take things a little too far. And for what it's worth it wasn't helping in the bedroom as much as I had hoped.

So recently I started thinking about going back into a device, again. I'm not sure why, but I miss the feeling of being in it, in it's confined space, it's weight, it's tightness during the night, and being unable to access it. I also miss the prevention of being able to masturbate. So now I'm thinking about ordering another one. I think this time I will get another HT V2 in standard length black, with a 40mm ring. This is the set-up I liked best before, bit my tube was clear and not flexible at all. My short black tube was much more flexible and grippy feeling, and I really liked that.

So here I am, getting ready to pull the trigger on the order, and hoping she's ok with it. On one hand I want to discuss it with her before I do it, but on the other she still doesn't know that I threw the other ones away so it would be pretty much a non event for her if I bought it and started wearing it. At this point in my chastity voyage I am not interested in having her be an active participant. I don't want to approach her with suggestions on how to incorporate this into our lives, I just want to wear the device because of how it makes me feel and act but I also need her to be ok with me wearing it sometimes in full view of her. Having her see it in the bathroom when I'm showering, all of that. In the past she was ok seeing it in the bathroom but I would usually keep things discreet when it came to having her see it on me. I'm still nervous about her reaction, as you can tell, but I think that if I keep it as "my thing" and not requiring her to be involved then it might help.

We'll see where this next step takes things.

[newbie]

One thing that I did want to add (this journal is very theraputic for me by the way) is that right now might not be the best time to start back up again because my wife has gotten a promotion at work and has been more stressed/tired during this period of transition. I sometimes feel that the last thing she needs to "deal with" is my wearing of a device again. I'll sort of have to play it by ear.

On a more positive note, with this promotion came my suggestion that maybe she should dress up a little more since she is now in management and not a worker bee engineer anymore. Not that she didn't dress well before, but maybe take it up a notch. She's always been self consious about he body, and has gained a little weight over the last couple of years, but I think she looks great and I love her curves. At any rate, I suggested that maybe she wear more skirts and business type outfits, which I find extremely sexy and would help her self image. To my surprise, she actually took my suggestion to heart and went out and bought some new outfits, and all were either skirts or dresses.

I see this as a great way to boost her self confidence and to show her that I still find her very sexy and attractive, and I know alot of guys find her attractive too.

[newbie]

I made the decision to go ahead and take the first step toward wearing a device again. I went ahead and ordered a new Holy Trainer V2 Standard Black Sheath with a 40mm base ring. I also ordered their new anti-pullout device to give that a try as well. Having owned both the short and standard length sheaths previously, I made the decision to go with the standard since the short always seemed to want to pull away from my body under normal conditions, unless I went with the super small 36mm base ring which was really too small for me. Granted, the short tube was more easily concealed, but I don't plan on leaving the house locked anymore (at least not for a while) and am looking at this new usage as being only around the house and primarily for the nights and evenings. More of a masturbation deterent that I won't need while at work.

I had been thinking that I would tell my wife that I was thinking about buying a new device to replace the ones I threw out, but then realized that I never told her (nor did she find out on her own) that I did that so this would be more or less just picking up where I left off in her eyes. I may still let her know that I am doing back into the device, but am expecting no involvement from her, just so it's not a complete surprise to her when I do start up again.

I'll start slow like before and try to keep it somewhat discreet, but at the same time I'm not going to any great lengths to hide it from her. I need to get past the uncomfortableness of wearing it when naked and in her presence, like in the bathroom in the mornings. Also, I must stay vigilent and be sure to keep it hidden from the children at all times.

The package should be showing up next week, which works out great because nobody will be home during the day, so intercepting the package before anyone sees should be easier.

Hopefully everything goes as planned but who knows. Will keep you posted.

[newbie]

Believe it or not, I received my new Holy Trainer V2 today. I was hoping it would arrive sometime this week but wasn't expecting today, what a great surprise.

Of course I had to drive home from work at lunchtime when I got the message that it had been delivered, and open the box immediately. The packaging was different that the original ones I had, they were inside a fake book, but this time it came in a zippered little plastice case. A nice surprise. Inside was my standard black tube, 40mm ring, keys and lock, and the new anti-pullout finger add-on. The first thing I noticed was that the sheath was a different material than my original black short one. That one was solid black throughout the sheath, so the base material was completely opaque. It was slightly tacky and would soften up ALOT when warm. The new one was just like my old standard clear one, which has a material more like a CB6000, more of an acrylic or something, and the black was more like a heavy tint which you could still see light and objects thru it. Not flexible at all from what I can tell so far. The base ring was different than before and appears to be made from the same material.

Once I put it on it had the same degree of comfort as the old ones, so that was a welcomed feeling. The finger mechanism that I also bought clips on to the top of the sheath and has rubber fingers that point toward the top of the sheath to eliminate pull-out. The clip on part has some thickness to it so the inside diameter in that location is smaller now, and the fingers should also help eliminate pull-out. The fingers are trimmable but I put it on as-is. I put everything on and headed back to work. I did bring a key with me just in case though.

So far so good, but it's only been a short time, and it feels like an old friend. One thing I noticed is that the keying feature that locates the tube inside the ring feels much tighter now, apparently it will eliminate alot of the slop that was felt between the two. Maybe its because everything is new and not broke in, time will tell. It also seems to point the tube more straight down than before, but I feel that this is probably all in my head since I doubt they would have changed the molds. The is a distinct parting like down the inside of the tube that may or may not have to be sanded down.

I'm pretty excited to be back in a device, and am planning to incorporate it into my daily routine as just something that I always do. I'm not asking my wife to participate in any way, and am hoping she will become accustomed to me wearing it and having her see it. I'm most likely not going to be wearing it to work (like I am currently) or pretty much anywhere outside the bedroom. I prefer to wear it in the evenings and at night to control my masturbation and to keep from accessing my (her) penis at all during those times.

She had gotten used to seeing it and being around it before, and didn't seem to care. It was only when I would wear it to bed and we would try fooling around with me in it that she started to not want to deal with it. I would also try and go days and days with it on, and even got to the point of having her take the key on her trips and had her sign an envelope across the seal for the spare key to prove to her that I hadn't unlocked. None of that panned out and it just seemed to make her bothered by the whole thing. I'm not going down that road again, at least not for a long time.

[newbie]

I wore the new device from when I first put it on at lunchtime until I took a shower this morning, no issues, no discomfort. I was half expecting to be woken up during the night with a nocturnal erection, but was pleasantly surprised that never happened. I'm not sure if I'm just used to those feelings at night because of how much I use to wear the device (every night) before or maybe this new one with the new "Guardian" anti-pull out device stifled the erection before it could get going. As far as the Guardian goes, I like it. It seems to hold everything in place better so that the tip of my penis stays in the end of the tube and doesn't creep back like it use to from time to time. This makes urinating much easier since it seems that the urethra and tube are always lined up and against each other. It wasn't uncomfortable to wear, but it did leave some pretty good impressions in my skin when I took it off. From what I can tell, the fingers should rest up against the back of the "ridge" on the head of the shaft, and mine were a bit long so I trimmed them back. I still think they might be too long, but I don't want to take off too much. I also angled them so that the pointed end is resting against my shaft. They are rubber so it doesn't hurt, but I think it will sort of dig in when my shaft tries to shorten. We'll find out soon enough.

I'm still just going to wear it in the evenings and nights at least for now, and I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of wearing it in view of my wife. Like I said, she seemed to become used to me wearing it and wouldn't think twice about seeing it in the bathroom when I would be showering. I feel I can probably pick up where I left off before.

[newbie]

I've been wearing the HT and Guardian for the last couple of evenings and nights with no issues. It seems that my body has picked up where I left off and has adjusted well.

I haven't had much of an opportunity to interact with my wife while wearing it since we are currently on two different schedules work-wise, but I haven't gone out of my way to hide anything from her. In fact I have been keeping the key prominently laying on my nightstand so if she sees it she will understand that I am back being locked up at night.

In a way I am looking forward to this coming Friday since we both have the day off. I know that her favorite time to fool around is in the morning so this would be my best chance to "expose" her to me wearing the device, even if I need to take it off so she can play with "her" penis.

The only thing that make me a little concerned is that with the Guardian in place overnight I am somewhat sore when I take everything off in the morning. Those fingers really press into the top of my shaft and while things feel fine when I'm locked, as soon as I take it off I get really sore. I seems to go away after a half hour or so, and the deep impressions in my skin eventually disappear, so I'm hoping that over time my body will adjust accordingly. I may take the Guardian off on Thursday night and just use the device without it just in case. I really do love how the Guardian does keep everything down in the tube where it should be, and properly lined up.

[newbie]

Because of the soreness mentioned in my previous post, when I donned my device on Wednesday evening I decided to leave the Guardian out. I didn't want to cause any issues that would keep me from "possibly" having fun this coming weekend.

My wife headed off to bed, and I followed soon after. When I got to bed she hadn't fallen asleep yet so I slipped into bed and snuggled in tight behind her. Because of our (her) crazy work schedule, she has been going to bed pretty early because of her early 4 am alarm. Last night she went to bed later so it worked out better for both of us. Nothing really happened, but we did settle into a nice spooning position and I could feel my device settle into the middle of her ass. I'm not sure if she could tell that it was my device that was nicely pressed in, but I have to figure that she felt "something" there. We would both adjust our position every now and then, but we stayed with me in tight and my arm over the top holding her in close for quite a while. I had forgotten how nice that feels, and my tube began to fill. It was a great feeling, and we drifted off to sleep.

Morning came and she was already up and dressed when the alarm finally went off for me. I wandered around the house and we talked about everyday things for a while. She seemed to be in a happy mood and even showed off her new outfit to me. I've been encouraging her to buy some new outfits for work since she got her new job and she has taken that to heart. She looks great and has bought more business suits with skirts, which she never did before.

Anyway, off she went and I did some work from home. I fought off the desire to watch a "few" porn videos on my laptop like I usually do because I'm trying to eliminate that as best I can and focus more on my wife. I have reason to believe that watching these ever more graphic videos have cause me to have performance issues in the bedroom. At any rate, did some work, got ready for work, and started my day.

I did trim the Guardian fingers a little bit and made the decision to wear everything to work today. So far so good, but I can feel the slighted bit of discomfort starting so I may take it all off eventually. At one point I mentioned that I would probably only wear my device in the evenings and nights, and I think I may go back to that. There really is no reason for me to wear it to work, and it can sometimes leave me in some discomfort and concerned that people can tell (still). I left the key out last night but I'm not sure if she saw it or not.

I'm really comfortable with where I am in my chastity journey right now.

[newbie]

Last night I put the HT back on before going to bed. In the middle of the night I woke to a really strong nocturnal erection. My penis was really trying to stretch out and the cage was having none of that. My balls were being pulled tight and I could feel the skin burning. While this is nothing new for me, and I am pretty use to it, what I was ready for was the pain from the Guardian. It was really intense, and I could feel the sharp fingers digging into my sensitive skin. Remind me to trim them more bluntly. It was the fingers and the base piece taking up all that room that was really bothering me. I layed there in bed waiting for the erection to subside, and when it did I made the decision to remove the Guardian for the rest of the night. I didn't want to be really sore in case there might be playtime with my wife in the morning. I removed it while laying there, and without completely removing the tube from my cock, and went back to sleep.

In the morning there turned out to be no sex, but at least the pain had subsidded. I did notice that the penis had slid down in the tube more that it can with the Guardian, so from that standpoint it proved that the Guardian does it's job.

I got up and eventually took my shower. I took my HT off, cleaned it, and put it on top of the shower door. As I was drying off my wife came in to shower. We chatted and then as she came over to get in the shower she noticed my device up above. She just said: "So you're using that again?" (asked in just a simple question manner) to which I simply replied "yes". That was it, nothing more, she got in the shower and we talked about normal things until I left with my device. She was in a good mood, and this didn't change anything. We even had a little bit of fun when she hurridly came into the bedroom with nothing but a towel on her head.

At least now she knows, and everything is out in the open again. I think it will be fine for her to see me wearing it or when she feels it between the sheets. Life is good.