Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

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storywriter24
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Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by storywriter24 » Fri Jun 28, 2019 12:46 pm

I was thinking about the difference between fantasy and reality when it comes to our kink… a kink that appears to be growing slowly in popularity. The stories, captions and supposedly true-life blogs about it so often describe dominant women who are cruel, heartless, self-centred, and interested only in their own pleasure and leisure. They’re turned on by the suffering of their caged males who rarely get any relief and if they do, it’s only allowed in some humiliating fashion. Perhaps the submissive partner provides the financial resources for his Goddess to live in luxurious style. He does all the chores ensuring that she can spend time with her many lovers and he meekly accepts that she’ll never allow him sexual access to her. I agree that some stories like this can be a turn-on, but if that’s all that’s available out there, it gives a very unbalanced view the very real joys of tease, denial and chastity and the relationship positives that can follow.

For many, particularly women, these stories are simply a turn-off and as a result, I’m sure many couples are put off even trying tease and denial and perhaps male chastity. I suspect most women who cater to T&D / chastity fetishes, do so out of a desire to please their partners and nurture their relationships rather than for any immediate personal gratification. Many, if not most, of the postings on Chastity Forums and Keyheld describe loving, affectionate relationships. Some lean more towards dom/sub end of the spectrum but I doubt that many of these are even close to domestic or sexual slavery.

Women are usually more emotionally intelligent than men. They’re often more in tune with the health of the relationship and men are wise when they allow themselves to be influenced by their partners. Does that describe a female led relationship? Not really. We all have different areas of expertise and a healthy partnership respects these talents and encourages leadership in those areas of expertise. Some are better at managing finances, some at cooking, some at fixing mechanical and electrical problems, some at painting rooms, and some at managing relationships. Successful relationships capitalize on those talents while always respecting the input of both partners. Does this sound like most of the flr, T&D, chastity stories we read? I guess my little rant comes down to a plea for some balance and more T&D, chastity stories about loving, compassionate caring couples living out the things that are important to them. For many, perhaps most, couples who could potentially benefit from exploring our kink, there need not be a dom/sub component (other than perhaps in play), there need be no humiliation, cuckolding or domestic slavery. Instead, if they’re not put off, they can enjoy the benefits of better communication, enhanced emotional connection, better erections for those of us who are getting older, and more exciting and romantic sex.

Here’s a little attempt at two contrasting vignettes to illustrate my point. I wonder how may of our readers will prefer the first story despite the incredibly annoying “i”?
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My Goddess wiped her finger along the baseboard, peered at it and glared at me. i shivered. She had spent the day shopping with her girlfriends while i had worked at cleaning the house and finishing up the laundry and ironing. Unfortunately, i had overlooked the dusty condition of the baseboards. No matter how hard i tried, i always seemed to miss something, and i feared i’d pay for it.

Trembling, i stood there naked except for the spiked cock cage i always wore. She surprised me by pressing herself against me and gripping my buttocks with both hands. i winced as my cock swelled up against the spikes.

“Oh you poor thing. Does it hurt badly,” she said. “Tell you what… we’ll ice you down and take off your cock cage. Would you like that?”

“O please Goddess, please. It’s been so long. It’s been months since you touched me.”

“You get some ice and Goddess will take that nasty cage off.”

i rushed to the freezer, hardly able to believe my good fortune and knelt before my beautiful Goddess offering her the bag of ice cubes.

“Ice yourself down. Tell me when you think you’ve shrunk enough.” i did my best to avoid looking at her fabulous pantyhose clad legs, but it was hard. i knew i had to keep my eyes averted from her lovely face and even more from her magnificent breasts.

“i think, i’m ready my Goddess,” i said.

“Stand,” she said as she lifted the gold chain with the key to my cock cage over her head and gently unlocked me. “You poor slave,” she said. “how long is it since I allowed you to cum?”

“Eight months Goddess,” i replied, my eyes downcast.

“And that was a ruined one wasn’t it. Poor husband. Can you remember the last time you squirted like a real man?”

“No Goddess,” i whispered.

She glanced down at my rapidly swelling cock. “Make it stiff for me,” she commanded.

i stroked rapidly and my cock hardened like steel.

“Is that as big as it gets then?” she said in a disappointed tone.

“i think it’s been caged so long that it’ll need a few days to recover it’s normal size,” i offered.

“It’s a good thing I have real man to look after my needs. That little clit wouldn’t do me any good at all. Now... legs apart and hands behind your back.”

i complied immediately. It would be so wonderful if she’d touch my cock even for a few moments. Goddess drew close to me, smiling beatifically. My heart swelled with joy.

“You want me to touch you? Well, here goes.”

She lifted her knee sharply and drove it into my balls. All the breath left my lungs. i couldn’t even scream as the agonizing pain paralyzed me. She stepped back quickly and kicked hard again. i hit the floor, curled into a fetal position, retching uncontrollably.

“You’re a contemptible cuckold,” she spat. “I expect you to have this mess tidied up and the baseboards spotless by the time I get home from my tryst with a real man.”

“Thank you Goddess for taking care of my needs,” i gasped.
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My wife, on all fours, moaned as I pounded into her. My cock, hard and pulsing, so close to cumming as I panted desperately.

“Hold on. You can do it,” she gasped. “Don’t cum.”

Desperately, I distracted myself by trying to read the headlines on the newspaper, discarded on the floor beside the bed as I tweaked her nipples. Leah whimpered with pleasure and thrust back at me, burying my cock more deeply in her cunt. Clenching the muscles in my groin, I reached between her labia and gently stroked circles around her clit. In a few moments she gasped and cried out as she came, slapping my hand away. I continued to thrust into her firmly for a little longer before asking her if there was anything else I could do for her.

“I’m done… so done,” she murmured as I pulled out gently.

It had been a fantastic lovemaking, oral sex for both of us, several orgasms for Leah and long wonderful edging for me. Then we finished with doggie style intercourse with another orgasm for my lovely wife but of course not for me. Leah snuggled up, her head on my shoulder, softly stroking my cock and bringing it up to the edge once more before comforting it as my erection faded.

“I know this is the hard part,” she said. “How do you feel?”

“I feel great now. Pulling out without cumming is tough but it really helps when you soothe me down. So right now, I feel on top of the world… Young despite my 72 years, full of energy, and of course, horny as a teenager!”

“It’s too bad you have to choose between erections and orgasms. It seems only a few years ago that you could have your cake and eat it too. Of course,” she said with a wicked gleam in her eye, “we could have sex less often… allow you a chance to recover. Here we are, both in our 70s and still having sex almost every day. How many couples do you suppose still do that at our age?”

“Not too many, I’m sure,” I replied, “I’m a very lucky guy to have such a wonderful lover. Skipping my orgasm is tough, but well worth it. You’re like a coach, urging a runner to make that extra effort, to push ahead even though his body is screaming to do the opposite. In my case, when I’m right on the edge, all I want is that incredible orgasm that’s just a stroke or two away. I’m desperate for relief, but there you are urging me to hold on, encouraging, cajoling and reminding me that in few minutes after the crisis passes, I’ll be feeling great… really horny, but great!”

Leah made little noises of contentment and snuggled closer as I stroked the side of her breast. “I love the feeling of skin on skin after we make love. My whole body relaxes. I wish we could stay like this all day.”

“I love it too,” I replied. Perhaps we should hire a maid to bring us champagne and smoked salmon whenever we get a bit peckish so we can stay here all day.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Leah chuckled. “She’d have to be naked of course and I’d instruct her to bring you up to the edge lots of times during the day, so that that by the time I’m ready for our next lovemaking, you’d be absolutely frantic. Your balls would be huge and aching, your cock throbbing almost unbearably. Later in the day, I think, we’d both sit astride you. I’d slide my clit along the length of you cock while she squatted over your mouth so you could suck her clit. We could kiss each other’s soft feminine lips and fondle each other’s breasts while we used you to bring us to amazing climax after climax. Afterwards we’d snuggle up on each side of you and soothe your cock and balls, which of course would only make you even more desperate. She’d be astonished when I’d explained to her how we’ve agreed that you don’t get to have orgasms!”

“That’s really hot, but you don’t really want me to give up orgasms totally do you?”

Leah giggled. “No. Of course not. I’m just teasing. I want whatever makes you happy and I know you want the same for me. Besides, I need some down time. It’s a lot of fun having you lusting after me like a sex-crazed horn-dog but it’s also fatiguing constantly feeling the heat of your lust beating down on me. You’re very good about not making a pest of yourself and it’s great to feel so desirable, but your desperate horniness adds to my stress level eventually. I think a nice balance between orgasm denial and frequent orgasms suits me best.”

“I do feel as though I’m letting you down when all I can manage is a floppy semi-erection when I’m having orgasms though.”

“Well, I don’t feel that way at all. I love your cock just as it is and I love it when you come inside me. It makes me feel connected and fulfilled. For the two weeks a month that you have orgasms, you’re nearly always hard enough for penetration and that’s just fine with me. Besides, if I want a really hard cock, I only have to wait a week or at most two until our next tease and denial period.”
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by KittensBoyToy » Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:51 am

Although on opposite ends of the spectrum, neither story is very realistic. Few women would be that cruel and mean as in the first one. Daily sex for a 70 year old would be rare. Not that some of us aren't capable but that life at that point is different for those of us that have been together a long time.
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storywriter24
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by storywriter24 » Sat Jun 29, 2019 12:04 pm

Thanks for your comment KittensBoyToy. Yes, I agree the vignettes are definitely extreme opposites, though that is intended to illustrate my point. I doubt that many women like "Goddess" exist outside of male fantasies.
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storywriter24
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by storywriter24 » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:09 am

Well that one sank almost without trace. The fiction section has been rather quiet lately and I was hoping to spark a little debate. Perhaps you're all too polite to jump on my rant or perhaps nobody's bothering with the fiction section these days. Maybe the item just isn't worth bothering with, after all it is Summer and there's beer, sunshine and bikinis out there.

For what it's worth, the second vignette is pretty much true. The only exaggeration is that my "Leah" doesn't like verbalizing while we're playing. I'm a very lucky guy indeed.

Enjoy the sunshine everyone... the days are already getting shorter in the Northern hemisphere.
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CanuckInNJ
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by CanuckInNJ » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:04 pm

I *love* the second story. More, please!
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storywriter24
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by storywriter24 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:35 pm

Thanks for the encouragement CanuckInNJ. I enjoy reading your posts in the "The Journey" and wish you and your spouse well in your explorations.
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Schnoff
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by Schnoff » Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:14 am

“The stories, captions and supposedly true-life blogs about it so often describe dominant women who are cruel, heartless, self-centred, and interested only in their own pleasure and leisure. ”

Yeah, that’s all over the place, and while that can work for a play scene, it’s not really workable for a relationship, at least I can’t see it working.
I recommend “Building the team” by Joshua and Raven, which focuses on “leaning in” in a relationship, and how to focus on a loving supportive relationship while having some kind of “slant” or power dynamic to it.
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storywriter24
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by storywriter24 » Wed Jul 31, 2019 12:16 pm

“Yeah, that’s all over the place, and while that can work for a play scene, it’s not really workable for a relationship, at least I can’t see it working.”

I agree that it would take an unusual relationship indeed to make it work. The relationship guru, John Gottman, talks about the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse… indicators that a relationship is in deep trouble: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. I guess I have to accept that some people really do get off on lifestyle (as opposed to scene) humiliation and criticism but I think they must be few and far between.

Although I’m not interested in a Master or Mistress / slave lifestyle relationship for myself, I can certainly appreciate the team and loving, supportive approach to making it work, just as my partner and I have a team and loving support approach to tease and denial.

Thanks for your thoughtful comment and recommendation Schnoff.
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by CagedbyGoddess E » Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:13 pm

I have to agree the whole cuckold, cruel and heartless thing is a huge distortion of the truth our kink really is. Much like the “Fifty Shades” to S&M over all. Though personally I don’t think any one flavor is correct, it is what you and your partner make it to be. Honesty is so needed but so is understanding that no one but you and your partner can speak to the heart of what makes your flavor as it where.
Personally I appreciate that you’ve called it out and hope more do as well. I know my Goddess was turned off for quite a long time because she would go to research or find things but be flooded with the BS out there and would be discouraged or turned off by it. The people here on this forum for the most part all do amazing at being and portraying the honest day to day real world not some pipe dream. We could not thank everyone enough for that!
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storywriter24
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Re: Tease and denial, chastity – fantasy vs. reality

Post by storywriter24 » Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:24 pm

The people here on this forum for the most part all do amazing at being and portraying the honest day to day real world not some pipe dream.
I agree that this forum is a great antidote to the nonsense out there. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I enjoy your postings in the journey and wish you and your partner well. One thing you mentioned that I really identify with:
It makes me feel like I did when we were dating/engaged and I hope my attitude towards her allows her to feel that way as well.
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