A Gentle Introduction to Chastity for my Keyholder-to-Be

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bcc
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A Gentle Introduction to Chastity for my Keyholder-to-Be

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This is a "gentle" introduction to chastity for my partner to read. I would like him to become my key holder, but his current interest in chastity is only luke-warm. His reaction to our first conversations about chastity was, "That's just weird."

My objective was to write a simple, friendly story to present chastity to my partner as completely as possible in about ten minutes. It reflects our gay relationship, my fantasies and desires, and the most basic chastity concepts without scaring him away with erotic kink that might be a little too extreme for him. We have talked about most of this, but over such a long period of time and in such a fractured way that I am not sure what he really understands or remembers. So, here it all is in one story that is empathetic to the surprise and uncomfortable initial reception by a new key holder to an invitation from his partner to lock him up and hold his key. A keyholder reading this story should finish with a fairly good basis to understand some of the dynamics of chastity enough to start teasing and denying with some confidence.

If you have read this far, perhaps you will read to the end. Please point out any fatal flaws, and feel free to suggest anything that might improve the "pitch". If you like the story, please let me know, and if you want to use it for your own purposes, feel free to!

LETʼS GO FOR THREE MONTHS THIS TIME

I called my good friend Rex and his partner Eric to suggest that we all get together for dinner one evening soon. Rex answered the phone and said without a moment of hesitation that if I brought wine, he would be happy to cook. I was eager to spend an evening with them. I have known Rex since before he met Eric more than ten years ago, and they were both good friends. We were all very comfortable together. It had been several months since the last time we had dinner, so there was certainly going to be interesting conversation – especially now that I knew their little secret.

The Little Secret

Rex confided in me over beers one evening a while back that Eric had introduced him to the idea of adding chastity to their sex. One night after undressing for bed, he found Eric wearing a chastity device he had just purchased. “Eric asked me to ʻtake the key and tease him and deny him of an orgasm until we both couldn't stand it anymoreʼ before being unlocked to come. Things got awkward, and I was dumbfounded. I remember thinking to myself, ʻThat's KINKY – Oh-My-God!ʼ”

"I was really surprised,” Rex continued with his story after a swallow of his beer. “I had never seen a chastity device, and initially, I was a little turned off by it – I mean, it was weird... I was a little bit worried about why this had come up all of the sudden and where it was going to go. I thought we were having enjoyable sex – it certainly was for me, but Eric obviously wanted to add this fantasy play to our sex. He was really turned on by wearing this chastity device. This was so new to me that I frankly didn't know what to make of it, and I surely didn't know what I was supposed to do."

"At first, Eric said it was just the one time for a few hours as a little game to spice up our sex for the evening." Rex went on to explain. "Then, Eric wore it again a few nights later, and I have to admit that I enjoyed something about this new game the second night when I unlocked him. Sometimes, Eric has a little trouble maintaining an erection. Eric usually gets soft before I can get used to his thick cock in my ass, and it is disappointing for us. But, he was as hard as a rock that night after I unlocked the chastity device, and he was hard for ages until he came inside me.”

“And then a few weeks later Eric was wearing the chastity device when I got home from work, and I think that I said, ʻYou are going to wear that thing for another day or two before I unlock it – maybe Friday night could get a little steamy.ʼ On Friday night our sex Was steamy – it was memorable. Eric was almost trembling with anticipation when I unlocked him. I splattered the headboard with my come, and Eric was so excited that night that he almost jumped off the bed when he came. It was passionate, and it was fun. Before going to sleep, Eric told me that he wanted to wear his chastity device permanently. He said that ʻI would have both of the keys, that I would be the only one to ever remove it, and that I should remove it only when I wanted to – that his cock was no longer his own, but that it was now entirely mine to do with as I pleased.ʼ I cautioned him to 'be careful what you wish forʼ. We agreed to a nine-month trial to see what we both thought before agreeing to do something more permanent. I told Eric to 'get used to the device now, because when you officially start the nine months, there will be no backing out...' And that's how this chastity thing all started."

I was now more curious than ever about this secret new sex life my two friends shared. I thought I knew everything there was to know about Rex and Eric, but obviously, I didn't. I had never seen a chastity device. It had never even come up in conversation before. And I was sure that I didn't know anyone who actually wore one – until now. Chastity was like bondage – yes, KINKY was the word. I didn't know anything about chastity, so asked Rex, "What do you do? I mean, what is your role in all of this if the point is that Eric doesn't come?"

The Three-Legged Stool and One Simple Rule

Rex replied that he was the key holder with the key to Eric's chastity device. He said that he had learned his new chastity role a little bit by trial and error, and that for the past eight months or so he had been in complete control of Ericʼs orgasms. “Chastity is a three-legged stool supported by orgasm control, teasing and denial. I control Ericʼs opportunity to have an orgasm by locking his chastity device to make an orgasm impossible, and then by unlocking the chastity device when I think Eric is so excited with the anticipation of his next orgasm that he canʼt wait another moment.”

Rex continued over our second round of beers that, “Teasing and denial is my constant challenge. I tease Eric with a sexual carrot or stick so that he gets just a little excited – just a little horny. When his excitement declines into frustration, I tease him again. I try to keep that next orgasm of his just a little out of his reach until I canʼt deny him an orgasm any longer without creating resentment. Sometimes I don't have the time or the presence of mind to tease and deny him quite often enough. I donʼt want Eric to think he is simply being ignored, so Iʼll have to work harder on this.. If he ever feels ignored, well, it wonʼt be very much fun for him. I think I get better at this every day, though. It demands some creativity and some finesse on my part."

“The most sexually frustrating thing for Eric is that he isnʼt allowed to stimulate his cock or masturbate himself – the chastity device is essential. He can touch his cock only through the gaps of his chastity device unless I unlock it. We really have only one rule: I am the only one to touch his cock and make him orgasm. That rule maintains his sexual focus on me so that I am the primary subject of his fantasies. That way, my role to tease and deny him is more powerful and effective.”

“I have been curious for years about who Eric put in his fantasies – when he was masturbating himself or I was giving him a blowjob – when he was aroused and about to come. Maybe Mario or another old lover – maybe a sexy movie star. Now, I think that Eric fantasizes about me."

Rex took another swallow of his beer, and he went on to explain how he was uncomfortable in the beginning, but that now, he just assumed that he owned Eric's cock and balls. “That was what Eric clearly wanted when he gave me the key." Rex said he trims Ericʼs pubic hair every week to keep "his new cock and balls tidy". And over Eric's objections, Rex said he even shaves Eric's anus silky smooth. I am astonished by what I didn't know about two of my best friends.

Rex talked even more intimately and said he thought that with chastity in their relationship, their sex was a little bit more fun and varied and satisfying for him than he could remember it being before. "Eric loves to make me come while he is locked in his chastity device. He is more physical and sexually creative while he is locked. We even have a new collection of sex toys including a strap-on cock for Eric to use on me while he is wearing his chastity device, but we haven't tried that, yet. Our sex is really good. It is more exciting for both of us – it is certainly different. I was happy with our sex before, but Eric must have really wanted something more and something different for quite a while. It was obviously awkward for him the first time he showed me his chastity device – he must have been thinking about this for years." Rex mused after a good swallow of his beer.

“I am glad weʼre sharing this fantasy of his. I remember thinking at the time that 'if this is something that Eric says will make him happy, then I'll give it a tryʼ. I am enjoying it much more than I thought I would," Rex said. "But, this is all still new, and I am a little bit concerned about what happens when Ericʼs chastity device is just another part of our routine lives. Maybe that doesnʼt matter.“

As we got to the bottom of our glasses of beer, Rex wound up his report about "Chaste Eric" and the new chastity dimension in their relationship, “Eric thinks he has found this new way to demonstrate his love, commitment and devotion by giving me total and exclusive ownership of his cock and control of our sex. He thinks that the chastity device is a little bit like a wedding ring. I think that the real point of Ericʼs chastity experience is this: when I know that Eric is ready to please me with his cock – when his excitement and his anticipation of his next orgasm are both at their peak, I will unlock his chastity device, and he will enjoy the sex much more than he ever did in the past – and he will have this better experience every time. With his chastity device locked around his cock, he is assured of quality time if I play my part skillfully. That is what he really wants – quality time, even if that means far fewer orgasms, and he asked me to help him get it by giving me the key to his chastity device and asking me to be his key holder.”

Dinner and a Surprise

When I visited Rex and Eric's home for dinner with wine in hand, Eric met me at the door completely naked except for his chastity device that surrounded his cock. I gave Eric a quick awkward kiss ʻhelloʼ as Rex explained from the kitchen, "I thought you would be interested in seeing something of chastity first hand after I told you about Eric and me."

I asked, "Eric, how long have you been wearing that chastity device?" While I am talking, I am trying to see just exactly how it is attached to Eric and locked in place – trying to get a good look without being too obvious, but I am not succeeding. I am hoping that Eric doesnʼt feel terribly embarrassed.

"I wore it for the first time about ten months ago," he said. "It took some time to get used to wearing this chastity device. Now, I wear it continuously 24/7 until Rex unlocks it with his key."

And to reinforce his role, Rex walked over from the kitchen, pulled the key out of his pocket, showed it to us ceremoniously, and grab Eric's chastity device to demonstrate how he could unlock Eric. Eric smiled broadly and moved a little closer to Rex as Rex put his key back in his pocket. "Except for about a half-hour once a week when Rex and I shower together and he scrubs me really clean and trims my hair, I have been wearing this chastity device for a solid month since my last orgasm."

“What do you do if you really need to get unlocked in an emergency?” I asked.

“I have an emergency key in a special envelop in my wallet, If Rex ever sees that the envelope has been opened, heʼll know I cheated... Itʼs there just in case. If I am wearing pants, I have my key.”

"I havenʼt had an orgasm for almost a month now." Eric reiterated. "Can you believe it? After about the second week, I am leaking pre-come off and on all day, and by the third week I am making a bit of a mess on the bed sheets at night."

Rex went on to explain that early on Eric really whined and complained that he wanted to come, but that he had been firm and said "No" and denied Eric an orgasm "until I thought he would burst. In the beginning, I would unlock Eric's chastity device and bring him to orgasm after a few days. Then I started gradually spacing his orgasms out over longer periods of time. I let two months pass until Ericʼs last orgasm, and we are getting close to the middle of our second two-month cycle right now.

I can tell that Eric is starting to get a little bit anxious about his next orgasm. Aren't you, Eric?"

"I can't wait to come – we could have sex tonight, and you could let me come early!" Eric blurted, almost shouting with his enthusiasm.

"Really? That long?" I asked. How can anyone go for eight weeks without an orgasm, much less four weeks? EIGHT WEEKS... I would burst for sure before my second week.

"This chastity device that I'm wearing now makes an erection impossible for me. We started experimenting to see how long I could go without ejaculating. After about 40 days, I had a wet dream even though I wore my chastity device in bed. Now, we know my endurance. About five months ago, Rex started to massage my prostate about a month after each orgasm so that I wouldnʼt come in my sleep – it's called prostate milking." Eric sounded like an authority. "Prostate milking drains a person's prostatic fluid without an orgasm. Itʼs very effective."

Rex said, "Some couples donʼt do prostate milking at all because the period of time between orgasms is relatively short or because there is simply no interest in doing this. Some couples do prostate massage with the chastity device still locked. We don't use ropes or handcuffs during milking or when Eric is unlocked, but some couples interested in bondage do. Eric enjoys the prostate massage, and he cooperates without a fuss or a struggle that some other couples might face. Some couples use some extreme restraints and sensory deprivation – handcuffs and blindfolds – we think that is just weirdly kinky... Each to their own.”

“The last time Rex milked me, I remember saying, ʻRex, please grab my cock. Please. I have to come – right now!ʼ Remember that, Rex? You had removed the cock cage, and I was so hard. And you said, ʻYou know how we do this. You can't touch your cock, and I won't touch your cock until I see a lot more pre-come.ʼ” Eric was clearly excited recounting his experience. “Rex was massaging my prostate with one hand, and then after a while he placed a few fingers of his other hand under my cock and stroked it slowly along the bottom. That made me so horny – I really wanted to come.”

“And I said ʻNoʼ and didnʼt let you. You were so excited you couldnʼt stay still,” Rex chuckled.

The Game of Tease and Deny

I followed Rex to the den to talk while Eric dressed for dinner. “Milking keeps Eric healthy, and it helps me to stop Eric from having wet dreams. If he ejaculates without me, he will begin to lose the direct association between his orgasms and me that I am trying to maintain. I like to touch Eric's cock when it is hard and I want him to feel me touch him like that. That gentle stroking of his cock is a powerful way for me to tease Eric, and it makes him really frustrated. The only person he wants to touch him after I have massaged his prostate is me – to pick up where I left off and finish with his orgasm, but I donʼt.”

“Between orgasms, Eric is as horny as hell, and he genuinely enjoys the sexual tension he feels. He says that the incredible orgasm he has when I finally make him come is worth all the waiting. For us, this is like an extended period of sexual foreplay – itʼs the anticipation that builds in his mind that is so important. And the biggest tease here is that he doesn't exactly know when I will unlock his chastity device and make him come – until I actually do. It is my surprise and completely my decision. When I know that Eric is ready, and I think that his level of excitement and his anticipation of his next orgasm are both at their peak, and I want his cock in my hands or in my mouth or pushing up in my ass, then I pull out my key and unlock his chastity device... He gets hard almost instantly, and he stays hard for ages as I bring him closer and closer to an orgasm. And when he actually has an orgasm, it is explosive – more of a climax in his mind with his cock than he ever had before he wore the chastity device."

"I don't think I could wear that chastity device for more than hour or two, or concentrate at my job if I were as horny as he is day in and day out. But Eric has adapted to wearing his chastity device and to the new tempo of our sexuality completely, and it suits his temperament pretty well. I hold the chastity device key over him only in the bedroom, and that is the full extent of our kink. Except for rare occasions like tonight, our lives outside the bedroom have very little to do with his chastity device and our little chastity game of tease and deny, and orgasm control.”

Just then, Eric walked in from the bedroom and sat beside Rex and stroked the top of Rex's leg. "Rex, I don't think I can last until next month."

And to that, Rex teased, "Well, let's go for three months this time. What do you think? Thatʼs about when your birthday is. It would be a good birthday present."

"No, I can't possibly go that long. OK. Well, we'll do it on the two month schedule again, then." Eric sighed and left the room for the kitchen to put dinner out on the table.

Topping from the Bottom, and Topping from the Top

Rex whispered in my ear, "Eric tries to top from the bottom – he tries to take control of our sex away from me now and then when he wants to come so desperately, but I am careful not to let him. Eric has a legitimate opportunity to top from the bottom only when he has the key. But when he gives the key to me, he consumes that opportunity almost completely. He likes to suggest an early release from his chastity device or perhaps a game that might lead to getting an early orgasm, but he really wants me to say ʻNoʼ. When I say ʻNoʼ or I threaten to extend the time he is locked in his chastity device, he pouts and complains for a while, but he confides later that he loves how I make him feel when I tease and deny him and make him wait a little longer. Deep down, he loves it when I say ʻNoʼ. The denial is important, and it works hand-in-hand with the teasing."

“I think we will go a third month after all. Hmmm... Eric would love it! Or, perhaps I'll begin to massage his prostate next month as if we are going for three months locked up, and then stop massaging his prostate and shove my cock in his ass when he doesn't expect it and stroke his cock as I ride him! He'd love that. And maybe I will stop stroking his cock just before he is about to come and lock the chastity cage back up – that would drive him crazy for days afterward – he'd love that. I donʼt think weʼll go for three months before his next orgasm, though, but maybe another week or so. Iʼll make it fun. Eric will be so horny when it is finally time for him to orgasm...”

“And then, I think we will take a week or two of vacation without the chastity device to see how we both really feel about making it more permanent – that was the agreement – nine months. Iʼll give the key back to him and let him know that I would like it back if he wants me to have it. Weʼll celebrate Ericʼs birthday with a night of passion at the end of our chastity vacation, and then, well, maybe Eric will give the key back to me and let me click the lock shut again,” and Rex gave me a knowing wink of the eye and stopped talking for a while.

“Dinner,” Eric bellowed, and appeared from the kitchen to usher us to the table.


Ten Myths – Many Shattered...

1) Wearing a chastity device will make me lose interest in sex and Iʼll become asexual!
No – not if your key holder teases and denies you before making you come. You are
what you are, and a chastity device wonʼt change that. You enjoy sex, right?
2) Wearing a chastity device will make me effeminate.
No. Chastity devices are common in “sissy” role-play, and many couples enjoy
“sissy” role-play. If you arenʼt inclined to act effeminately, why would you?
3) Wearing a chastity device will make me a more attentive partner.
Maybe – for a while. Maybe sexually. This is a common “hook” to capture the key
holder partnerʼs interest by the partner who is eager to wear a chastity device. Heightened attention may include a mix of intimate and non-intimate activity. It is common for the newly chaste partner to be inclined to be more attentive in the beginning with the newness of the experience and as a ploy to encourage an orgasm from the key holder partner. But a chastity device wonʼt create love in a relationship.

In a discipline game or a submission game, heightened attentiveness may be the objective behavior for the chaste partner. However, if the chaste partner doesnʼt want to play one of these games, the inclination to shower the key holder with attention to “buy” an organism over time will soon become tiresome, and resentment can build in both partners if the level of attentiveness declines or eventually stops.

At the end of the day, the ordinary chaste partner is likely to return to many of their familiar attentive habits, and the level of attention they pay to their partner in some regards may decline to near pre-chastity levels over time. However, their intimate activities obviously change to accommodate the limitations of wearing a chastity device. Many chastity couples report a positive and permanent increase in intimate affection by the partner who wears the chastity device, so there may be some truth to this myth. Also, the key holder can encourage more attentiveness from their chaste partner by teasing, but if the tempo of teasing is too high for too long, the chaste partner may tire of the game and resentment may build.
4) Wearing a chastity device will make me less lazy.
Maybe – for a while. This is another common “hook” to capture the key holder
partnerʼs interest by the partner who is eager to wear a chastity device. See the previous discussion for some insight.

At the end of the day, the ordinary chaste partner is likely to return to many of their familiar habits and previously comfortable level of activity in the household over time. The key holder can discourage lazy tendencies in their chaste partner by teasing for the desired results, but again if the tempo of teasing is too high for too long to demand more than the chaste partner is really willing to do, the chaste partner may tire of the game and resentment may build.
5) My chastity device poses numerous health risks.
It is possible that your chastity device can pose some health risks. Chaffing can always be a problem that a little bit of baby oil or a lotion can help. Edema, or swelling and fluid accumulation under the skin, is common if the chastity device has a ring that surrounds the testicles too tightly or a tube that surrounds the penis too tightly. Adjusting or resizing the chastity device can usually resolve these problems. Some chastity devices are simply incompatible with some people, and a different device may be required to eliminate edemas.

Blood supply to the genitals is essential. If your testicles are cold to the touch or purple, remove the chastity device right away and resize it to fit properly.

Regular cleaning is required to prevent fungus, lesions and infection where the chastity device directly contacts the skin on your genitals. These risks rise significantly when urine, sweat and dead skin collect in the chastity device over time. Keep things really clean to avoid these problems.

Contemporary medical wisdom says that regular ejaculation cleans toxins from the prostate to reduce the risk of cancer. Prostate massage is popular to purge the prostate without ejaculating so that long periods of time between orgasms are less of a health concern.
6) Wearing a chastity device will make my cock shrink.
Probably not. Weight gain can indeed make your penis apparently shorter as some length is obscured by body fat. Conversely, weight loss adds to the apparent length of your penis. Wearing your chastity device wonʼt change the length of all those tissues in your penis. Some people who have worn a chastity device for a long period of time report a small loss of girth that is attributed to some atrophy, but this is debatable without any rigorous studies to back those observations up. At the end of the day, your cock is your partners, and not your own, so you shouldnʼt worry about it.
7) My balls will get huge as they fill with come.
No. At some point, all the glands and organs that contribute fluid to your ejaculate “spill” into your urine when the stored volume of those fluids becomes excessive. Nothing accumulates in your testicles that doesnʼt also spill into your urine. If your testicles do enlarge, there may be a medical reason you may need to see a doctor about.
8) My chastity device is 100% secure so that I canʼt cheat and masturbate.
No. No device has proven to be 100% secure. Proper sizing and adjustment enhance the deviceʼs security and itʼs ability to control orgasms (see above). Belts over the hips are generally more secure than cages that grip your balls, by the way.
9) My chastity device needs to leave some room to accommodate an erection.
This is a sizing debate for many people. The expert consensus is that ideally, you want to completely prevent your penis from becoming engorged with blood and getting even partially erect for the greatest degree of comfort particularly at night. Consequently, your chastity cage should be as close to the flaccid dimensions of your penis as possible. A chastity cage that only accommodates you while flaccid also provides less opportunity for movement and stimulation that can lead to cheating and “unauthorized” ejaculations.
10) Chastity will cure erectile dysfunction.
Not cure, but certainly help it... Many men who wear a chastity device claim that
chastity has almost completely eliminated any ED symptoms and performance anxiety issues that they had. If your nerves still function, you will get hard and orgasm when your key holder unlocks your chastity device at the right time and gets intimate with you.

A Few “Kinky Links” – Just a Few, and not too..

Chastity Blogs:

Chastity Blog Aggregator http://keyheld.blogspot.com/
The Edge of Vanilla – Tom Allen http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/
Male Chastity Blog – Sarah Jameson http://www.malechastityblog.com/site-map/


Chastity Community Forums:

Chastity Forums http://chastityforums.com/
Chastity Lifestyle http://www.chastitylifestyle.com/chastity/home/
Chastity Mansion http://www.chastitymansion.com/



A few other Information Sources (in order of “kinkiness”):

Chastity UK http://www.chastity-uk.co.uk/
Altairboy Lady http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/newstuff.php
Lubyanka (Prostate Milking) http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/prostate-milking/


Chastity Device Manufacturers:

A. L. Enterprises http://www.cb-6000.com/index.html
BirdLocked http://www.birdlocked.com/
Bon4 http://www.bon4.co.uk/chastitydevice/
Carrara Designs - Walter Goethals http://www.carrara-designs.be/his/index/?
ExoBelt http://www.exobelt.com/mDefault.htm
Fetish Felix http://fetish-felix.com/
Gerecke http://www.gerecke-kg.de/top/index3_e.php
Loriʼs Tubes http://www.chastitytube.com/page1.html
Mario Latowski http://www.latowski.de/
Mature Metal http://www.maturemetal.com/
Neosteel Chastity Belts http://www.neosteel.de/Nsepmain.htm
Phoenix Male Chastity http://phoenixchastity.com/
SteelWerks Extreme http://steelwerksextreme.com/blog/?cat=7
SteelWorxx http://steelworxx.de/index.php?language=en
Tollyboy Products http://www.tollyboy.com/
Last edited by bcc on Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:03 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Dev
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Re: A Gentle Introduction to Chastity for my Keyholder-to-Be

Post by Dev »

Hi bcc,

Welcome! That's a great chastity primer in the guise of fiction. I think it could work well as an introduction. You certainly cover the bases in providing information.

I don't know if you've seen my blog but it was a book of stories that got me interested in chastity in the first place.

http://devotedlvr.wordpress.com/2010/08/25/hello-world/

They are gay stories, btw.

Keep us posted on how your chaste life with your partner develops.

D
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bcc
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Re: A Gentle Introduction to Chastity for my Keyholder-to-Be

Post by bcc »

Hi Dev -

Thank you very much for your reply and encouragement. I perused your blog - nicely organized and very friendly. I'll go back periodically. Dreamspinner Press (Naughty or Nice) replied to e-mail that they have no gay chastity titles in their portfolio :( Maybe someday. The Toybox: Cage title looks interesting... Hmmm...

I have revised my fiction-primer. That is exactly what it is. I shortened the story considerably, added my own version of a FAQ, and followed with a few URLs. After all, I want this post to be a "gentle Introduction" that packs as much of a vanilla perspective for my partner (or anyone else new to chastity) to read as I can. If my partner gets more interested than he currently is, he can explore all the complimentary chastity lifestyle elements and the kink periphery pretty thoroughly from these links.

Thanks you again for your kind reply and your interest in me.

bcc
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Re: A Gentle Introduction to Chastity for my Keyholder-to-Be

Post by preston.cs98 »

Wow. This is a one stop-shop. Great post and it helped send me in the right direction.
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