Loving BDSM

[Kiki]

Thank you, I'm glad to hear my thoughts are helpful to you. I'm hardly a "professional" but I have thought about this stuff quite a lot. This board is great; we can mutually encourage and inspire one another!

[fourthmuse]

I am slowly getting my wife to do some research in to some of these things. I can give her some information but it is hard to give a broad understanding in the bedroom context and she is generally not interested in talking about it too much when not in that context. I can understand that, it is not what interests her so she is busy thinking about other things. On the other hand if she does ever decide to sit down and do some research I am probably in for some real trouble

One thing that me and my boyfriend, N, do is talk on either yahoo messenger or through email about this part of our relationship. It's really hard sometimes to discuss things of this nature face-to-face, especially when you're new to it, as I am. I find it very hard to look him in the eye when I talk to him about some aspects of this- its so much easier to pretend he's miles away lol. So I message him about my frustrations or fantasies, or he sends me love notes, etc.

It's one of my favorite things he does now that I'm in charge.

[Atone]

One thing that me and my boyfriend, N, do is talk on either yahoo messenger or through email about this part of our relationship.

It's one of my favorite things he does now that I'm in charge.

Welcome to the forum fourthmuse (and N I hope),

I remember doing the instant messaging thing with my wife years ago. That worked ok at the time, we had a small house so we each had our "office" location setup on different floors. Mine was a little table by the recliner, hers was a real desk but down stairs in the kids play room. Now that we have a bigger house we have a real office and literally sit right across from each other most of the time. We would probably have more eye contact there than we do when we sit side by side on the bed.

-A

[kpb57]

We're messaging all through the day while we are at work. Much better than frequent phone calls, and you can write things that you could never say on the phone when you are at your desk.

[Kiki]

I agree that sometimes it is easier to discuss this stuff in text form. For one thing, you can collect your thoughts before hitting "send" which in itself is really helpful. This is part of the reason that Lukus and I started our blog. We both have the login, and either one of us can post, so we sign our posts. Although I expect it is probably pretty easy to tell who is posting (and usually it's me). That's cool. He's been playing with this stuff longer than I have so I have more to figure out.