I'm Locked, But She Is Too

Living the real life under lock and key
Post Reply
michaelnmelissa
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

I'm Locked, But She Is Too

Post by michaelnmelissa »

The other night I had a moment of weakness.

It'd been a long week. Melissa and I had had almost no time alone and even less time to be intimate. I worked this past weekend and came home Sunday night worn out. When I realized we weren't going to be close at all, yet again, I mentioned that I might like a break from MC. Just for awhile.

Melissa became quiet. She came back into the room and sat on the bed and asked me what was wrong. So, we talked it out. Unlike our past there was no complaining or arguing. We simply talked about the week and what led to my asking for a break. And once we got it out in the open, the desire for a break went away. All I can say is the improved communication that MC brings is so refreshing.

But, what struck me most that night was how shaken Melissa was just at the thought that MC might stop for us. Granted, I asked for a break and not to end it, but she feared that a break might lead to stopping which might lead to a return to our old ways. But more than not wanting to go back, Melissa does not want to lose what she's gained. Much to her surprise, she has discovered that she truly likes the control she has over me with MC.

It made me think how, while I may be locked up, MC has just as much a grip on Melissa as it does on me. There's a lot written about the power exchange MC brings to a relationship and there's a lot of truth to it. But, I realized that my chastity has a hold of my wife as much as it does me and, if I'm not careful, I could maybe use that to manipulate our practice of it. For example, I could hint again about a break if I didn't think Melissa was doing enough for me. And that would be wrong. I do want her to have the authority that comes with being my key holder. I suppose I never expected her to be as into it as I am. It has been a surprise for both of us.

Michael
p.s. No, she did not let me out that night. We do have a 24 cooling off period for times just like that. By the Monday morning I was feeling much better.
0 x
User avatar
kpb57
Posts: 349
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 7:13 am
Location: Austria

Re: I'm Locked, But She Is Too

Post by kpb57 »

I think that anybody who does not think this as a two-way street fools himself.

In any (sane) power exchange situation, the "submissive" has at least as much influence as the "dominant".

And if the only option the "submissive" has is to end the game for good (like safewording in a BDSM scene), then the pressure on the "dominant" is that much stronger to never let the game escalate thus far.

I had a point right after x-mas when I realized that in the first enthusiasm, I had "bit off more than I could chew". When I asked my wife for a talk and told her about my feelings, she reacted just like your Melissa, fearing I would end the game and we would end up where we had been just one month earlier.
When I told her I just needed some reassurance she would not extend the game on her own ("you gave me the keys, so shut up"), and that I really wanted this good thing to continue, she lit up like a christmas tree and came up with the basic rules we operate under now completely by herself. Since then, our life together could not have been any better.
0 x
Currently using: Steelworxx Looker 2
Owns: CB6000, Bon4, Sentinel (Copy), Birdcage (Copy), Lovejail, Gerecke Desire (Titanium)
michaelnmelissa
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

Re: I'm Locked, But She Is Too

Post by michaelnmelissa »

kpb57,

Oh, I know that the D/s relationship is (usually) a two way street. I think for me though it was such a surprise to see how much my wife wants MC too. I was the one who introduced it. She was willing, but skeptical. Now, she is willing, eager, and loves it as much as I do.

It's clear from my reading here and elsewhere that some wives are not as into it as much as their husbands are. That they could quit it without much fuss. I'm happy and fortunate that Melissa likes it too. I had just never imagined that my mention of a break would ever have upset her as much as it did.

Michael
0 x
User avatar
Dev
Posts: 1192
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:10 am
Location: New England, USA
Contact:

Re: I'm Locked, But She Is Too

Post by Dev »

Isn't it great when women are into chastity? :D

Michael, you might want to get Melissa's thoughts and post on this thread:

http://www.chastityforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=780

"Old fashioned wife." I think he asks some very good questions and I suspect Melissa would have some good insights for him.

D
0 x
The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
Dev's Gallery
my stash of good looking men
Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers
michaelnmelissa
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

Re: I'm Locked, But She Is Too

Post by michaelnmelissa »

Dev,

It is great that she's as into it as I am. I used to read your writings and be hopeful that one day she's be as bold about it. And now, I think she is getting there.

I'm not sure why I thought she wouldn't like it. Though we used to argue over frequency, when we were on the same page our sex life was always hot and - maybe for some - a bit kinky. Melissa enjoys toys and anal and even fisting. Maybe it's because chastity is so little mentioned outside of femdom and sissies and such that it seems over the top at first to a (mostly) vanilla couple.

Michael
0 x
fuzzydunlop
Posts: 422
Joined: Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:18 am

Re: I'm Locked, But She Is Too

Post by fuzzydunlop »

My wife and I have a kink streak that has been primarily dormant due to raising small children and other mundane "life" issues. We are now done havoing kids, and she seems much more vested in MC now. During her last pregnancy, she had no sex drive (I've seen similar stories and posts) which gave us a chance to experiment with denial. We both like it, but I felt a little like a hot water bottle at times. I went almost two months with no O, but fell off the wagon when the baby came.

Her sex drive has now rebounded and she has been assertive about using her Hitachi at bedtime a few nights a week. This past week, we experimented with a CD for the first time in years, and it was her idea that I wear it over night on the weekend. I think there is an element of tounge in cheek role play, but we are closer and having more fun than in a long time. We have few rules, but one is that I am not to ask for an orgasm, and even hinting will annoy her.

Now, we are going to have some alone time in a few days (finally) and it will be about two weeks since she brought me to a climax and much, much longer than that since being any where south on her. I am not sure what the expectation will be. It has been several weeks since intercourse.

I am excited but also anxious about losing our edge and keeping the wave going. I've been a little more assertive about explaining my cycle which seems to help (horny day after, flat for a few days thereafter, and then back on edge). I try not to make things tedious for her by keeping my mouth mostly shut about my situation.

I know that is a long post, but wanted to express my anxiety about falling off the wagon, but yet staying balanced and relaxed.
0 x
Post Reply