Hello everyone....
So my boyfriend told me he wants to up the anti and put him in a chastity device instead of the honor system. But i've been searching and i cant really figure out how long he should be locked up when we first start and what type of rules i should set i am really liking the idea of doing this as it will bring us closer i love the idea of having his sexual pleasure at my control please help... im at a loss
I have never used the honor system so I don't know how it compares to being in a device. I would suggest starting with a denial period that is around the same as when you use the honor system. How much of that time is locked in the device will depend a lot on how long it takes to get the fit correct. You may start by just having him in the device while you are together. This will get him used to the device and will add a new dimension to the time you spend together.
Once you get the fit to the point that he can wear it 24/7 you will be in a better position to decide what "rules" you will use for locking him up.
In my relationship I am locked up 24/7 unless I am let out for her pleasure. Sometimes while I am out for her pleasure I am also allowed an orgasm. Sometimes I am only allowed a little touch and then locked back up. It is her decision.
Have you purchased a device yet? If so what did you get? If not what devices are you looking at?
Also, is your boyfriend a member here? He should be, have in introduce himself.
As you read through the postings here, you'll find that everyone plays by different rules, and the periods of lock-up and orgasm denial vary greatly. I know of at least one member that is working on a year without an orgasm, and others tend to go for much shorter periods (like me...so far no longer than a 7 day denial). My wife prefers me going shorter periods, in both my lock-ups and days without an orgasm. We use a cb-6000s device, and also still use the honor system when I wear a cock ring to symbolize her control. One thing I've learned since joining, is that each couple makes their own rules! Have fun with it.
0 x
-Dan
and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!
Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271 (2)
Currently Wearing: Steelheart
My wife and I have been practicing MC for a little over three months.
I wear a custom fit stainless steel device from Mature Metal. We've had it for 29 days and I've been locked up for roughly 27 1/2 of those.
Like Atone, I stay locked 24/7. My wife, Melissa, mostly prefers to let me out for her pleasure. She did allow me one orgasm shortly after I was locked up, but since then only ruined ones.
If you read the posts on the forum I think you'll get a feel for how different folks do things and maybe get a direction you'd like to head in.
The short answer to your question is, it depends on the device and the person. There are two possible methods you could employ depending on how much control you wish to have.
The first is to tell him to see to the fitting and breakin period on his own, then when he is ready and comfortable with the device, give you the key. Meanwhile, do your own research based on the experiences of others as to the length of lockup periods. Start with short periods and work up to what's best for your relationship.
The second would be to supervise the breakin and adjustment period yourself holding the key from the very beginning. Many devices will require an unlocking, removal, and thorough cleaning fairly frequently depending on ones activities and the weather. Others will not.
Welcome...as the others have said, every couple makes their own rules. My husband has access to the key (actually, it's a screwdriver) and takes his device off daily for bathing and a nap. But no touching, no orgasming and I know I can trust him on this. I know lots of guys wouldn't be so trustworthy -- that's part of figuring out how to make it work for you.
Since chastity was my idea (I'm a woman) I've been totally involved right from the beginning--helping him decide which device(s) to buy, measuring for them, etc. I have also been completely in charge of when he gets to orgasm. We started off with a long period of denial--60 days--then for the past 3 months have been on a 1x/month cycle. He had an orgasm last week for his birthday. The next one? I don't know, maybe Valentine's. Or maybe it won't be until spring (March 21st). I am discovering that for us, it seems to be best to play it by ear.
thank you everyone i am getting him the birdcage as he is larger and that seems to be the only one with the correct dimensions i understand that how long he is in it is up to my discrestion but he keeps asking what will be expected of him... when we first started the honor system he had to call me maam everytime he spoke to me but then i kinda crossed the line somewhere i guess i am just afraid of doing the same thing. im not sure what to punish for or what to reward for before it was just little things he got punished for like not foldinng the laundry or he got touched if the dishes were done before i got home... am i kind of getting close to the right idea???
Do you mean the Birdcage from Extreme Restraints? That's the one my husband and I started with. It's huge -- 4" long. We gave it away to another member here who is liking it, but it was much too big for my husband. The general consensus seems to be that the smaller and more snug-fitting the device, the more comfortable it will be. But if your boyfriend is well endowed, it may be a good choice for him.
Second -- if you read through the various threads, you'll see that most of the folks here are into what we have termed "vanilla chastity." That is, we enjoy chastity for itself and what it brings to the relationship: increased intimacy, improved communication, and better sex. Most of us don't tend to us the chastity as punishment approach. In fact, since the guys seem to enjoy being locked up and being denied orgasms, having that extended isn't really a punishment. They may be told it's a punishment but since they like their chaste state, it's really a reward. I know that seems to be counter-intuitive, but it is how it is working for most of us.
