It's Just Not Worth It

[michaelnmelissa]

I came too much last week. That's what we've figured out. We got carried away and I came three times after 70 days of denial. It was great, but it's led to a severe drop in my devotion.

I'm still doing everything I should, but I'm not feeling it - my heart is simply not in it. We both know this is biochemical and it will pass, but we hate it. I think I hate it more than she does. She has been so patient with me without letting up on her expectations. She is okay with me doing for her even if my heart is not in it as much.

I used to think it was a male chastity myth, this drop, but it's very real. I am less attentive, more impatient, more aggressive, less submissive, etc. I found myself resenting her instructions and thinking it wasn't so bad when I was in charge (even though it was).

Yesterday morning I could feel my lack of feeling if that makes sense. We talked via text for awhile and I felt better, then we talked more at home and we both felt even better. Then we went into the bedroom and I focused on her and her pleasure.

I told her how trading a few seconds of orgasm for a week or two of feeling like I did was not worth it. I meant it then and I mean it now. I would rather remain always on edge and devoted to her than feel this way.

Melissa was flattered. And she agreed that for now we would make do with ruined orgasms (and those will be rare). That way she can feel my ejaculate inside her (which she enjoys) while I am denied the full release that brings the drop.

I may not orgasm for the rest of this year. She said that's very likely. She doesn't like to use dates or timetables, but she did say that for us the fewer the better and I agreed.

I know we all enjoy cumming, but does anyone else ever think the afterward is not worth the few seconds of release?

Michael

[m&C]

I'm new here but have been reading this wonderful forum for a while. Michael, this entry made me sign up! It is exactly how I feel about cumming these days - that post orgasm slump just ain't worth it!

Truth is, I don't really enjoy orgasming that much these days. My lovely wife likes me to cum inside her occasionally and I will because that is what she desires. But the frequency of my orgasms are becoming fewer and fewer and that's fine by both of us. The more we explore chastity and orgasm control together, the more exciting out sex lives have become and my orgasm becomes less important. Like you, I'm hoping I might have had my last orgasm of the year.

[danj]

I'm back and forth on this...sometimes I'm really relieved to have cum, other times I wish I could have waited longer. I had an orgasm recently after 5 days, and I told her I'd rather wait longer, but she wanted to see me cum (she used her hands). We've decided it is "her" cock, so I came for her. It was quite intense.

Our cycles are much shorter than yours, never more than 9-10 days so far. I would imagine that after several weeks, the let down would be much harder. In any event, you know you'll get back there soon enough, so don't let it get you down!

[thumper]

...[T]rading a few seconds of orgasm for a week or two of feeling like I did was not worth it. I meant it then and I mean it now. I would rather remain always on edge and devoted to her than feel this way.

Word.

[Atone]

I really like wanting to come much more than wishing I hadn't.

We have been using fairly long intervals most of the time. Early in March I had an orgasm after a very long interval. It ended up being sooner than I expected but I was ok with it and it was very enjoyable. Three weeks later we were playing and she allowed me to have another orgasm. I was really kind of bummed after that one. I was just really getting in the cycle and had to start over. It was similar to what you described, I was forcing myself to be attentive and behave as I do when I have been denied a while but my head wasn't really in it. I was just getting to that point where things just really flow and I had to start over again.

-A

[kpb57]

I think that it also depends very much on the individual people involved.
I, for instance, absolutely cannot relate to what you all call the "post orgasm drop". After I've come (which is usually a VERY intense experience these days), I feel relieved, drained, and very warm and positive. And I extremely like to give my wife her post-intercourse cuddling that she loves so much.
And it takes just the night (or just the day, if we've had sex in the morning) to get back on track with longing and feeling for her.

Maybe it is that way with me because I know from the many talks we had that SHE really loves to feel me coming. Sometimes to the point that she tells me to get myself off in her arms, and make it really good, so she can feel the spasms, hear the sounds, and see the spurts.

K

[thumper]

What I've found is that the *first* orgasm doesn't knock me totally out of my space, but more than that and I'm likely all the way back at the bottom of the hill.