Atone wrote:Davarian30 wrote:We shared a now defunct blog over several months
Welcome to the forum.
What was the blog called? Does any of it exist anymore? It would be interesting to see what you blogged about 3 years ago, what changed, what's still the same......
-A
Thanks, Atone.
It was, perhaps errantly, called "The Chastity Experiment". Tom Allen might remember it.
It started with the chastity play, but kind of went all over the place before it was over. Unfortunately, it is completely gone. It had become a bit too important, or consuming.
It did start out revolving around chastity, my wife learning to be a DOMME, S&M ( mainly ball torture) that I craved as a replacement to direct stimulation, and mundane things. I would be caged for a week, maybe two, without release. Or it might involve T&D. My fixation was with being locked up and not released at all.
Just before we stopped with the chastity, I went for 28 days without being released at all. By the time I got out, all interest was gone.
Things are different this time around because we have come to accept a few things.
1) My wife is naturally submissive (not necessarily A submissive...though she can be)
2) I am naturally dominant and beyond chastity/OD am not wired to give over control outside of very short term bedroom play.
This has proven true time and again. We are who we are, fantasies aside.
3) My wife does not want to be a domme and I don't want to be a sub. It is all too contrived.
4) My wife enjoys the chastity/OD aspects, but mainly because I do. If I lose interest, she does.
5) My wife likes to hurt me, but only because I get off on it at times. CBT is a wonderful source of stimulation and is not the same, but parallel to "typical" stimulation.
Taking all of this into consideration, this will more than likely be vanilla chastity.
Once I go into the cage, I get to decide if I want to be in, initially, without any release at all...and for how long (a minimum). Beyond that, it will be up to her, which I guess is the "norm". She will get to decide when/if to remove the cage, for how long and whether or not I get to orgasm.
The exception to that would be if I hit a wall. If I ever get to the point that I am just done...well...it is done, for then. And, honestly, if I get that mind set, she will lose all interest in it anyway.
Undoubtedly, this is something that will never go away. The question is whether it will be perisistent or in waves/phases.
An interesting twist to our relationship beckons back to #1 and #2 above, coupled with the fact that she loves S&M, on the receiving end.
There will be many times where I am caged, but she is "subbing" to me. She will get things she enjoys...flogged, cropped, caned, clips and clamps, etc... All the while, I am locked away and being denied...lol.
Of course, I don't think the denial will be as prevalent as before, with the exception of my not being able to take things into my own hand. I am a chronic masturbator. I would say about a 100 times a month...plus our sex. That is not to say that she will not deny me from orgasm during sex. That is part of the point. But I would think it rare to go more than a week without an orgasm .
The lack of self stimulation will be the hardest part, though. While masturbation is obviously sexual, for me, it is also an enormous stress reliever. The biggest that I have. But I do get so addicted to the constant arousal from being denied. It just feels good.
It will be interesting, and fun, to continue the experiment.