For him

Living the real life under lock and key
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cuyahoga
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Re: For him

Post by cuyahoga »

Thank you for answering our questions. I do really appreciate that.
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TwistedMister
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Re: For him

Post by TwistedMister »

Kmss90 wrote: Tue Jun 14, 2022 8:12 am
I have two of the keys full time and he has a spare. Sometimes he doesn’t even tell me when he locks/unlocks. He decides.. I’ve said no before and he took it off anyways and said he didn’t want to have it on that long so I said okay, very confused.

I agree we should sit down and talk about expectations but the last time I tried to ask what he wants from me with the locking and how he likes it he went off onto a tangent about how Im focusing on the psychology and he doesn’t have an answer for me and he’s already uncomfortable with it and why can’t i just enjoy the fun.. I said well it’s not fun for me when I don’t know what’s going on. Im considering just giving him the keys back for now and saying I don’t want to be involved until he can tell me how he wants the dynamic to work.
If he kept a key that he can use any time he wants, without telling you and with no consequence, then giving you the other two keys was pointless.

Since you having those keys doesn't really have much meaning, rather than make a big deal out of it I would suggest that you just ignore the fact that you have them and let him do what he wants. I wouldn't give back the keys, and I wouldn't tell him I don't want to be involved, I'd say nothing at all. That would force him to come to you if he actually wants to do something different.

You can continue on as if nothing has changed, because it actually hasn't changed. I don't see that there is much in it for you at this point, you having keys serves no purpose. He is being kind of silly. Let him do what he wants until he asks why you aren't doing anything. He can have his 'fun' with whatever is going on inside his head. Then, if or when he comes to you and wants to know why you aren't 'playing along', you can explain to him that there is really nothing for you to do because *he* is doing it all. He will then have to figure out just exactly what it is that he wants.

If he wants you to be involved he is going to have to give up having a key that he can use whenever he feels like it. If there is a need for him to have an 'emergency' key he could have one in an envelope signed and sealed by you, as my wife does with me. If I want to use the key I have to tear it open in a way that would be evident, and there will be consequences for doing so, especially if there is not actually any kind of emergency. Until he gets to the point where he is willing to do that, there isn't anything for you to do, and certainly not much fun in it for you. If he *does* get to that point, then you might be able to start having a little fun with it.

On the other hand, if you want to have some fun of your own, and push the issue, there are ways you can do that too.
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
Jsin
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Re: For him

Post by Jsin »

Glue the keyhole shut or throw a combo lock on it. That’s being too selfish. It’s one thing to top from bottom but to pretty much exclude you. He is missing out on the power exchange and not serving you. For me that’s what it’s all about. I will lock up and give my wife the keys. I know that I have to either ask for them or she will eventually take it off and screws my brains out. I don’t know about everyone else, but the not know when I’ll get released and when she says no is the real pleasure. Oh and the leaking is awesome, with the build up and frustration to randomly release is such a good feeling; and knowing my wife/KH has that kind of power is so arousing!
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gungadn
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Re: For him

Post by gungadn »

Kmss90 wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 7:14 pm My partner caged himself because “he likes it”.. I asked why like what does it do for him what’s his goals desires? But all he can say is he likes it.. but he doesn’t do it around me only when he’s alone . Doesn’t do it to dent himself because he always takes it off and cums? He doesn’t like to go down on me , which is okay… I like to receive as well as give but it’s not a deal breaker for me if he doesn’t want to give. It just seems so opposite of the point of chastity? I don’t know.,. Can someone please help me understand what he wants?
I post this not as an attempt to excuse his behavior. But, as an attempt to help you understand what he is thinking. Also, I understand this post will not be popular with some of the members of this forum. But, that's because the majority of the active posters on this forum don't fall into the category I am describing.

For the majority of men (and women) that are into Orgasm Denial through Chastity or otherwise, it is a very hot fantasy!!! But, it is only a fantasy. They enjoy watching and reading fantasy porn and get horny to the fantasy of not being allowed to cum, until they get so horny they cum. The idea of wearing a device is hot, so, they buy a device (very easy in todays day of easily available and cheap devices), wear it and read fantasies online or watch denial porn, until they get horny to the fantasy of not being allowed to cum, until they get so horny they remove the device and cum.

You mention wanting him to go down on you. The very sad part of this is I guarantee you that he fantasizes about being made to go down on you... until he gets so horny about the idea of it, he removes his cage and cums... Then, typical men, once we cum, we are no longer interested.

I don't have any great ideas about how to solve it. I will say he has no idea how lucky he is to have a girlfriend that is willing to indulge his fantasy. Maybe you will need to go slow. Next time your together, and hes locked. Ask him to give you ALL of the keys, just while you are together. For a couple of hours.. then give him a key back when you leave. Then, convince him, 1 night. then, 1 weekend.

But, maybe this will give you a bit of understanding to be able to talk to him about it. My only solid advice: Take the 2 keys you have, and give them back, or destroy them. Right now he fantasizes that you are his keyholder because you have a key. First step is understanding you are only his keyholder if he does NOT have a key.

Note: It is my firm belief that this is the issue a lot of guys face finding a keyholder. There are too many that this is just a fantasy. Anyone that shows an interest in controlling a key gets flooded with requests... But, 99% of the responses are guys looking for wank fodder. Pretty soon, anyone that was interested in keyholding decides that there are only flakes out there and become disillusioned with it. You are a prime example, you have shown a willingness to be part of it, be a keyholder, research to get information on how to be a good keyholder. But, now, your experience with HIM is turning you sour on the entire idea. If another guy approached you in the future about the same, you would probably be less inclined to experiment based on this situation.
So, in the long run, men that are truly committed to finding a keyholder (not just a fantasy), get lost in the crowd. Keyholders that are truly committed to being a keyholder get jaded and disappear.
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GungaDN

This is just my experience, yours can.... and probably will.... vary!

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Owns: CB3000, CB6000, Steelheart II, Steelheart, various home-built models.
lockedforfun
Posts: 130
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2018 7:37 pm

Re: For him

Post by lockedforfun »

Maybe the two of you can organize a weekend together and you take all three keys for the weekend. At the end of the weekend, give him the third key back, but ask him if he enjoyed not having access to it. Baby steps, no need to go all or nothing right off the bat.
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TwistedMister
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Re: For him

Post by TwistedMister »

gungadn wrote: Fri Jun 17, 2022 11:00 am I don't have any great ideas about how to solve it. I will say he has no idea how lucky he is to have a girlfriend that is willing to indulge his fantasy. Maybe you will need to go slow. Next time your together, and hes locked. Ask him to give you ALL of the keys, just while you are together. For a couple of hours.. then give him a key back when you leave. Then, convince him, 1 night. then, 1 weekend.
This is a continuation of what I was thinking when I wrote my response (above). It's a good idea. Start him off with short periods where he truly has no access to any of the keys, and go from there. Although, I would start with just a few hours of playing where he has to wait until you decide to let him out and cum. That will give him a gradual 'break in'/introduction by having just a few hours where the decision is truly 'out of his hands'.

After a few successful [short] sessions, you can begin extending them, perhaps having him pleasure you where you cum and he does not. You declare that you are 'done' and he will have to wait a little longer, you move on to some other activity then start another session where he is let out and allowed to cum at the end. If/when he becomes accustomed to that then you can start moving to overnights. Just a slightly more gradual introduction.

Slowly, slowly catchee monkey.
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
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