Macy has keys wrote: ↑Thu Oct 21, 2021 10:51 am
My thoughts...
He was into chastity, that was how he introduced it to me, and I was dumb enough to fall for it (except he wanted a normal sex life?)
It can sometimes be difficult to find a way to inform your partner that you are interested in something sexual that is 'unusual'. It could very well be that he was telling the truth as to his reasoning, but perhaps not the whole truth.
He was into a "hybrid chastity" and still is (normal sex life, but locked up?)
'Chastity' doesn't have to mean 'never getting any sex'. I know that before my wife and I began to experiment with it, we often worked opposite shifts and much of the time it was just easier to take care of it myself when I got horny. Then, at some point, she would be wanting to get 'frisky' but I wasn't interested. She would get disappointed and I would get angry (mostly at myself) and we'd have a spat...and then I'd feel guilty because I knew that it was *my* fault.
'Hybrid chastity', as you put it, simply means that it is a way of 'saving himself' for you, so that when you are interested in sex he is too. He still wants sex, but wants it to be with you and not just a quick jerk-off session by himself. Of course, I'm just guessing here because I can't read his mind and know for a fact what his reasoning is.
He really did have a problem and that was his way of fixing it (he never asked for long term denial)
This may very well be true, at least in part. It could also be true that he has other reasons for being interested in it. I know that when *I* first discovered that there was such a thing as a 'male chastity device', I discovered that I got aroused by the thought of my wife having control of my 'favorite toy' in addition to being a means of ensuring that I didn't eliminate my sexual urges on my own. I should probably note that I had already become interested in 'FemDom' scenarios before discovering 'chastity', so I was perhaps a bit more pre-disposed to be aroused by it.
He never mentioned stopping, even after marriage (it's still a "anti wank tool" that just became our lifestyle?)
If it arouses him to be 'controlled' by you in this way, why would he want to stop? He gets the benefit of not only being 'ready' when you are, thereby relieving any guilt that he might have felt for not having the willpower to not 'take care of it' by himself, but he also gets the benefit of increased arousal. Being aroused is pleasurable, not being able to do anything with that arousal immediately makes it more 'intense'...well, that's how *I* feel about it anyway.
Now he's willing to let me exert some control (why now, it's been 5 years since he started locking up?)
It may be that he has discovered that he has become more aroused by you being in control than he thought he would. As time has gone on, it has become more erotic to him, and he is willing to explore it in more depth. Just speaking from my own experience, that's how it worked for *me*, the reality was even more exciting than the fantasy.
Originally, with my wife and I, it was just an occasional thing, starting with a 'Gates of Hell' device and then going on to a 'Stallion Guard'. As time went on, over several years, I discovered that I was 'enjoying' it more and more. The more control she exerted, the more arousing it was. I used to be the more dominant one, but I found that it was even more exciting to have the tables turned.
I'm probably not explaining this as well as I could be, but that would likely take several pages of text. I'm only guessing as to what his thoughts might be, but I would not be surprised if they were similar. Ultimately, only he can answer your questions more accurately...if he is aware of why he is attracted to it (he may not fully understand it himself).