70 years old and 12 years in chastity. Here are some tips,

Living the real life under lock and key
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SteveOD
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Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2020 9:55 pm
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70 years old and 12 years in chastity. Here are some tips,

Post by SteveOD »

A little background. I started dating in first grade, lost my virginity to a gay friend at 13 and had an 18 year old girlfriend when I was 14. She taught me a lot. At 20 when I returned from Vietnam I was a cuckold to the girl living with me. I was engaged twice, both times to a bi woman. Married the second and the first is married to a woman. Explains why she had trouble reaching orgasm with me while other girls did not.

Long story short, my wife and I shared a part time live in girlfriend for 30 years. She was my Domme and into S&M with me. It got pretty extreme. At first I was allowed to orgasm during our 2-3,000 threesome over the 30 year period. Then I needed permission to orgasm and when granted it was done while I was in pain. So as far as chastity goes, I was on the honor system until 12 years ago. I have not penetrated a woman in over 20 years and rarely allowed to perform oral. My wife is into vibrators and has multiple intense orgasms with them.

Funny part was that most of this was pre internet so we did not know what the names of what we were doing were called. Never heard the term Poly Triad until a few years ago as even after the internet we never went to sex sites. Those who can do and no reason to look it up on the internet. Enough background as I just wanted to let you all know that I am not talking through my ass. We did every fetish found on Fetlife, even the yucky ones and some not shown there. :)

My wife is my key holder. She prefers sex with women due to finding the more aesthetically pleasing and arousing. However she never felt romantic to a woman or dated one. It was either a threesome or nothing. She needed a man in bed for some CBT and nipple torture. She was always willing to try anything and would orgasm quickly and multiple times until she could not take anymore. She was a premature ejaculators dream. Enough of this. Below is what we found to work for us to keep chastity with orgasm denial fun for us.

I am on my 12th year of 24/7 lock up. No side effects. I never even got chaffed. If you do it right and do not listen to those who get their knowledge from reading or watching Chasity porn, you should have no problem although no study has been done either way.

My suggestions:

1 Chastity is not your cage. It is the promise you made to your key holder that only she can give you orgasms. So what if you take it off to shower? If you do not jerk off there is no harm done.

2. Keep in mind that chastity requires self control. Do not expect your key holder to have a full time job watching over your penis. It is YOU that prevents your orgasms and no one else because you can masturbate easily when locked up in various ways which you can find in Chastity Porn. So since you can make yourself cum even when locked, chastity is your commitment to it and no one elses.

3. Practice good hygiene. I use a sponge swab I bought on Amazon for a few dollars for a hundred of them. They can be cut down in size so that they fit in your pocket. At home I use a squeeze bottled to squirt inside my cage. When away from home I carry a small squeeze bottle like you would find for sanitizers. Or simply wet some toilet paper and squeeze the water into your cage. Then dry with the swab. If the openings are large enough, wrap some toilet paper around the swab and it sill sop up all the water inside the cage.

4. When you fill up your squeeze bottle add about 10-15% of mouth wash to the water. More will burn. That will leave your cage minty sweet and get rid of odors.

5.I unlock for showers with no supervision and never masturbated in the shower in over 10 years. This gives me time to check out my penis and scrotum for hot areas or chaffing. It also allow me to thoroughly clean my penis and let it swing free for a while to restore full blood flow. Then I dry and put it back on again.

6. If your key holder is your wife or girlfriend, make it easy for her. Don't make it feel like work or being your prison guard having to check you all the time because she does not trust you.

7. Take out 5-10 minutes a week to discuss any problems or changes you want to make. Chastity is not a punishment despite what you read about. How cay you punish someone with chastity when they can hold a vibrator to yourself and cum in a few minutes?

8. Set limits for both of you. We agree as to how many orgasms I will have that year. We also agree to everything else related to our chastity lifestyle. My wife may not be happy with something or maybe I am not so we agree on doing it the way that is enjoyable to both or us. For instance I like to stay locked during sex to prevent any unwanted orgasms. My wife likes to play with my penis while getting off on her vibrate so we mix it up and sometimes do it one way and at other times the other way.

9 You do not need a chastity contract as they are not legal and read like a list of things you want your key holder to do depending on your actions. If I talk back you whip my ass. If I do not kneel when you come home you peg me. In reality these are all the things the guy wants and is outlining what he can do to force his key holder to do those things to him. What if she does not feel like whipping you that day or the next? It becomes work for her and forces her to do things she may not be in the mood for. The other problem is that rule change quickly and it begins to get confusing. You may find one rule contradicting other rule or your keyholder may be tired of reading all of your rules and be on a different version of the rule rather than the new ones as often happened to us. It can get very confusing very quickly. They are arousing to write though. :)

10. This is the most important rule in Chasity. Your keyhole makes all the rules and can change those rules without any notice and as many times as she wishes. In other words, she makes rules based on knowing what you like and expect from Chasity and an do so on the spur of the moment.

11. Very important to have a key holder who places your welfare above all else. You MUST have quick access to an emergency key. I know because I twice had EMS come to take me to the hospital for immediate surgery. You no not want to have to track her down to bring over the key at 3ams when she is far away or is a Pro key holder and has to send your emergency key be FedEx in a day or two. There are many ways to keep an emergency key on you. My wife seals it in an envelope which she signs so she can see if it has been tampered with. I can carry it in my wallet If I feel that I need to use it because of some pinching or chaffing I must call her first for permission to use the emergency key. If it is a time is of the essence health issue I can use the key and get her permission retroactively.

12. Chastity is sexual fetish all on its own. It does not need to involve Cuckolding, BDSM, Femdom, etc.. It can be part of any larger fetish if you like, but it can stand on its own. For us, since we are no longer spring chickens, the only other things we do aside from orgasm denial except for some CBT and nipple plays which my wife likes to do to me. There are no official rule books for any fetish and don't let someone else's idea of chastity become a must do rule. When I was much younger and into BDSM I thought that pegging was part of our fetish and so we did it. I ended up in the hospital with a torn colon that got infected given what passes through it and thus learned a lesson. If you want to do pegging use a small dildo and not the sizes you see in porn as you need to work up to those.

13. Never forget that sex is for your key holders pleasure only. All efforts made are to ensure she has good orgasms; Do not expect anything to avoid disappointment and resentment.

14, You do not have to wear your cage every time you leave your house unless you enjoy jerking off in public places and lack self control. While I used to be locked when out of the house, it was a pain in the neck and made chastity not fun anymore. Look at it this way, I wear a wedding ring as symbol of my marriage. If I go out without it, does it mean I no longer love my wife and marriage. Think abut this. You can orgasm in ANY Chasity device using a vibrator, jerking off the cage with your penis in it or inserting something through one of the openings and more, so what harm can occur if you do not wear it while exercising, shopping or at work. If you enjoy wearing it all the time than by all means do because as I said before, there are no rules, only the ones the two of you make up.

15. Last bit of advice, orgasms denial is a big part of Chasity. Being locked up between your regular orgasm schedule can be fun but all that I is is masturbation control because you expect an orgasm when you have sex. This is fun too but you will never experience what you can without going at least a mont without an orgasm. No hard rule, just wait long enough that you have sexual energy coursing through your body and the sight of a bare shoulder on a female excites you. These are suggestions that worked for us for a dozen years and not intended to be a rule book Just something to think about.
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JimR
Posts: 77
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2021 12:18 pm

Re: 70 years old and 12 years in chastity. Here are some tips,

Post by JimR »

IMHO...Excellent advice and perspective.
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SteveOD
Posts: 152
Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2020 9:55 pm
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Re: 70 years old and 12 years in chastity. Here are some tips,

Post by SteveOD »

One important tip I left off. Replace your shower head with a combo handheld and overhead one. I got one of those big rain ones that had a hand held head that magnetically attaches it to the overhead when not in use. Easiest one I had to install and I have installed 10 of them over the years. No teflon tape needed and I do not ever think I used a wrench. They make it so easy these days.

The hand held one is great for cleaning yourself while in the cage. The wife can also use it on pulse for an orgasm. Even after I shower and then pee a few times, I jump into the shower an add some soap inside my cage and spray it on high for a quick clean.
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