90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Living the real life under lock and key
michaelnmelissa
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by michaelnmelissa » Fri Jan 21, 2011 5:05 pm

Dan,

Good to hear she was positive for you.

We had a real hot time this past Monday (see my "Drained Dry" post) and then...nothing. Three days of no (sexual) touching, flirting, or acknowledging MC. Why? It was a tiring week for her and for me. I wanted to say something, ask for something, but then I reminded myself that's how the arguments always started in the past. It's not that I can't initiate - I can - but I could tell she was not feeling sexual at all. So I choked it off and I waited for her.

And then this afternoon she came in the bedroom and began rubbing me through my pants. I told her I liked being locked for her and that I liked not coming for her. She replied she liked those things too. She told me she had wanted to make love Wednesday night. However, her body was so tired she couldn't make herself start anything. She had been thinking about me and us. It wasn't that MC had lost its allure for her - she was just worn out.

Then she told me how much she loved that we didn't fight about sex anymore. She loved being so relaxed with me. And that's exactly what I would have ruined if I'd given in to my frustrations this week.

Keep on keeping on friend. And try and stay warm up there!

Michael
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Celtic Queen
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by Celtic Queen » Sat Jan 22, 2011 4:23 am

I can see both sides of this and made a similar point a few posts back. Men need affirmative action, positive momentum, single direction in general. Women on the other hand are usually juggling many domestic and emotional demands, soothing kids, chasing gym kits and holding down jobs etc. Chastity is about her control, therefore her way of doing things. If you start pestering for attention, chastity maintenance ends up being viewed as just another demand, another item on the never ending bloody to- list of household drudgery. Neither of you wants that so just step back a bit, relax, get your device on and hand her back the key. It'll be fine, just let go.
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"Only the man whose neck is bent may bear the oppressor's heel"
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Tom Allen
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by Tom Allen » Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:59 am

Celtic Queen wrote:If you start pestering for attention, chastity maintenance ends up being viewed as just another demand, another item on the never ending bloody to- list of household drudgery. Neither of you wants that so just step back a bit, relax, get your device on and hand her back the key. It'll be fine, just let go.
Agreed, but take it from somebody who's been there - when you first start getting into it (hah!), just the novelty itself makes it hot. Men, who are actually *wearing* the device, are reminded of it every single minute of the day. In some essential details, *our* lives have changed, while our partner's lives have not. So, it's natural for us to be a bit more, umm, attention seeking, especially at first.

You will need to compromise on this point. because when you're hot and bothered and she's going about her normal day, it will feel like neglect. Eventually the intensity wears off, but for the first few months, the both of you need to be aware of how things are going along.
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danj
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by danj » Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:17 am

Everyone,

Lot's of good advice...it is appreciated.

P.S. Michael, sorry for starting to hijack your thread.
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-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart, and modified Steelworxx Looker 3
Currently Wearing: Probably the Looker 3 or Honor system

fuzzydunlop
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by fuzzydunlop » Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:05 pm

I know I can get obsessive and clingy, which I know can be annoying. This was particularly true over stretches where her sex drive was lower. On the current cycle, her drive is pretty good. She is enjoying it, but I can't expect the experience to be as intense for her as for me.

We try to come up with certain ground rules, and it takes good and assertive communication to find something workable. Right now, there is an understanding that I am not to ask for an orgasm, or even feign wanting an orgasm just to be denied. She gets to decide when, and I have no idea when that will be. Secondly, I notice it can be really annoying if I constantly remind her how many days it has been since x. An occassional mention is OK, but I try not to mention it to much. I also have tried extra hard to be assertive about affection, which is a little more "spicey" and when I follow the two rules above, it comes accross as more sincere and not pushy. The result has been a lot more sexual energy between us, a lot more orgasms for her, and very few for me (2 this year, but who's counting?). W
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michaelnmelissa
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by michaelnmelissa » Sun Jan 23, 2011 5:54 am

danj wrote:Everyone,

Lot's of good advice...it is appreciated.

P.S. Michael, sorry for starting to hijack your thread.
I never look at it like you (or anyone else) is taking over a thread. I enjoy when a conversation is started and takes on life. You never know where it will go.

Michael
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locked2011
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by locked2011 » Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:00 pm

Sorry to be a bit off-topic here but Michael, I upgraded to a steelheart 2 a little more than a year ago and have been very impressed with the quality. I highly recommend it. BTW - I opted for the integrated lock which really reduces the bulk of the device.

Hope it helps!
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CustomChastityDevice
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by CustomChastityDevice » Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:10 am

super nice.
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