@lockedforfun, with all due respect, this is not at all the point I was trying to make. I generally understand and support the unwritten code of conduct on this forum (maybe it’s not unwritten? Either way, I get it). I appreciate that this is a place for information rather than living our individual fantasies online. You won’t find any such “fantasy” content from me, and I would discourage it from others just as most of you do. I think our intent here is more similar than different, and I’ve seen other kinks discussed in a mature manner here without issue.
I have not asked anyone to participate in my kinks or fantasies, nor would I. That is 100% not the point. I certainly haven’t engaged in any form of exhibitionism at the expense of anyone else’s comfort. I would file that under non-consensual behavior, which should be considered unacceptable in any community. Furthermore, I haven’t implied or suggested that anyone who enjoys chastity has to enjoy anything else. Your sexuality is unique to you, just as mine is to me.
The stance I’m taking is simply that we should not shame people for their kinks. Frankly, I’m surprised that this is controversial. The reality I’m speaking to is that there are people who enjoy chastity and also enjoy cuckolding, etc, who might otherwise be wonderful, contributing members of this community, but might feel unwelcome because one facet of their sexuality is deemed “too extreme” or reduced to “masturbation fodder” by other members here. They might be looking for an accepting place to discuss chastity in a polite and informative way just like you. Sadly, they might not find it here if they’re directly or indirectly criticized for something else they enjoy in the bedroom.
My intention isn’t to start a fight or crash anyone’s party. I’m not going to pretend to be a prominent member of this forum, and therefore I won’t claim ownership or dictate how it should operate. If the mods that generously dedicate their time to this board want to limit discussion to certain topics, that is their decision and I respect it. Nonetheless, I have enjoyed this forum, and I’m disappointed that I seem to have become the bad guy in this thread for suggesting that we shouldn’t kink-shame people. I assumed that would be a shared value in any kink-related community. Perhaps my mistake. I fundamentally believe that it’s possible to be kink-positive while also maintaining a focused and well-behaved community, but again, I’ll respectfully leave that up to the people who have poured their effort into maintaining this forum.
If the stance of this board is that I’m out of line for speaking against kink-shaming, I will kindly thank everyone for the advice they’ve offered me and be on my merry way. No hard feelings, just not for me. To be clear, it has nothing to do with discussing any particular kinks and everything to do with promoting a general attitude of acceptance. That is something that is important to me. Honestly, I’ve never thought it was a major problem here, which is why I’m a little surprised at the reactions to my posts.
I’ll reiterate that I’m not personally offended. I’m mature enough to be pretty comfortable in my own skin, but that came with a lot of time and a lot of agonizing over my own sexuality. It’s also the result of finding communities that celebrated me and my kinks, even if they didn’t perfectly align with everyone else’s. One of the wonderful gifts that comes with that journey is the ability to recognize other people’s struggle and help to provide safe places for them to learn and grow into themselves. Interestingly, you expressed a very similar sentiment, which I appreciate. Perhaps where we differ is that I believe the best way to foster that for others is to create inclusive spaces, not exclusive ones. Again, that doesn’t mean anyone should have to tolerate bad behavior, and I recognize that this forum isn’t mine to make decisions about. I’m simply trying to explain where I’m coming from.
It’s said all the time on this board that there is no “right” way to do chastity. For some couples, the addition of another sexual partner might be a critical component to living a chastity lifestyle. Are you telling me it’s wrong to discuss that here in a practical way? I never thought that was the case, until maybe now. If it is, then so be it, but I actually don’t think it is. I think this is just a misunderstanding.
One last thing. This isn’t a “take my ball and go home” post. I’m not mad at anyone, and I’d like to be clear about that given the difficulty in expressing nuance online. Hopefully I’ve clarified my earlier post. If my position still upsets anyone here, I won’t belabor the point any further. Either way, for the time being I’ll remain active and continue to evaluate whether this community aligns with my own personal values.