Chastity Break

Living the real life under lock and key
lockedforfun
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2018 7:37 pm

Re: Chastity Break

Post by lockedforfun »

ChastityNoob wrote: Wed Sep 08, 2021 6:27 pm
Appreciate the tip, but it’s not so much that he annoyed or offended me personally. Rather, I find it potentially offensive to others, and as such, potentially harmful to this community. If one person read that message and felt unwelcome, then we’ve failed as a community IMO (I’m using the term “we” liberally, as I’m not exactly the most regular user here, but I’ve generally found this site welcoming/helpful and I would like others to feel the same).

Forgive me if I’m out of line but I don’t see how a community like this can thrive and grow without being inclusive. That is why I am speaking up instead of simply ignoring.
If you're offended that I don't want to participate in your exhibition fantasies that's your problem, not mine. Enjoying one kink doesn't mean someone enjoys every other kink. And it is particularly obnoxious when people try to imply that enjoying the kink of male chastity automatically implies I'm on the road to a bunch of other kinks. It is particularly rude to engage in exhibitionist behavior around other people's wives, girlfriends, etc. When you read posts from men lamenting how hard it is to get their wives to participate in their male chastity kink, who are self-locking and maybe hiding it from their wives and agonizing over how to introduce the idea to her, and then you see people making male chastity appear as extreme as possible by way of engaging in their exhibitionism, talk about offensive.

TL;DR: Can there please be at least one place on the Internet that doesn't try to imply every guy wearing a chastity device dreams of being a sissy maid wearing panties every day?
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sls01234
Posts: 227
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:00 pm

Re: Chastity Break

Post by sls01234 »

TL;DR: Can there please be at least one place on the Internet that doesn't try to imply every guy wearing a chastity device dreams of being a sissy maid wearing panties every day?
[/quote]

My wife and I have no interest in sissy cuckold swapping sharing etc... Just a happily married couple for 25 plus years who enjoy a fun active sex life.
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CB6000
ChastityNoob
Posts: 70
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2016 4:09 pm

Re: Chastity Break

Post by ChastityNoob »

@lockedforfun, with all due respect, this is not at all the point I was trying to make. I generally understand and support the unwritten code of conduct on this forum (maybe it’s not unwritten? Either way, I get it). I appreciate that this is a place for information rather than living our individual fantasies online. You won’t find any such “fantasy” content from me, and I would discourage it from others just as most of you do. I think our intent here is more similar than different, and I’ve seen other kinks discussed in a mature manner here without issue.

I have not asked anyone to participate in my kinks or fantasies, nor would I. That is 100% not the point. I certainly haven’t engaged in any form of exhibitionism at the expense of anyone else’s comfort. I would file that under non-consensual behavior, which should be considered unacceptable in any community. Furthermore, I haven’t implied or suggested that anyone who enjoys chastity has to enjoy anything else. Your sexuality is unique to you, just as mine is to me.

The stance I’m taking is simply that we should not shame people for their kinks. Frankly, I’m surprised that this is controversial. The reality I’m speaking to is that there are people who enjoy chastity and also enjoy cuckolding, etc, who might otherwise be wonderful, contributing members of this community, but might feel unwelcome because one facet of their sexuality is deemed “too extreme” or reduced to “masturbation fodder” by other members here. They might be looking for an accepting place to discuss chastity in a polite and informative way just like you. Sadly, they might not find it here if they’re directly or indirectly criticized for something else they enjoy in the bedroom.

My intention isn’t to start a fight or crash anyone’s party. I’m not going to pretend to be a prominent member of this forum, and therefore I won’t claim ownership or dictate how it should operate. If the mods that generously dedicate their time to this board want to limit discussion to certain topics, that is their decision and I respect it. Nonetheless, I have enjoyed this forum, and I’m disappointed that I seem to have become the bad guy in this thread for suggesting that we shouldn’t kink-shame people. I assumed that would be a shared value in any kink-related community. Perhaps my mistake. I fundamentally believe that it’s possible to be kink-positive while also maintaining a focused and well-behaved community, but again, I’ll respectfully leave that up to the people who have poured their effort into maintaining this forum.

If the stance of this board is that I’m out of line for speaking against kink-shaming, I will kindly thank everyone for the advice they’ve offered me and be on my merry way. No hard feelings, just not for me. To be clear, it has nothing to do with discussing any particular kinks and everything to do with promoting a general attitude of acceptance. That is something that is important to me. Honestly, I’ve never thought it was a major problem here, which is why I’m a little surprised at the reactions to my posts.

I’ll reiterate that I’m not personally offended. I’m mature enough to be pretty comfortable in my own skin, but that came with a lot of time and a lot of agonizing over my own sexuality. It’s also the result of finding communities that celebrated me and my kinks, even if they didn’t perfectly align with everyone else’s. One of the wonderful gifts that comes with that journey is the ability to recognize other people’s struggle and help to provide safe places for them to learn and grow into themselves. Interestingly, you expressed a very similar sentiment, which I appreciate. Perhaps where we differ is that I believe the best way to foster that for others is to create inclusive spaces, not exclusive ones. Again, that doesn’t mean anyone should have to tolerate bad behavior, and I recognize that this forum isn’t mine to make decisions about. I’m simply trying to explain where I’m coming from.

It’s said all the time on this board that there is no “right” way to do chastity. For some couples, the addition of another sexual partner might be a critical component to living a chastity lifestyle. Are you telling me it’s wrong to discuss that here in a practical way? I never thought that was the case, until maybe now. If it is, then so be it, but I actually don’t think it is. I think this is just a misunderstanding.

One last thing. This isn’t a “take my ball and go home” post. I’m not mad at anyone, and I’d like to be clear about that given the difficulty in expressing nuance online. Hopefully I’ve clarified my earlier post. If my position still upsets anyone here, I won’t belabor the point any further. Either way, for the time being I’ll remain active and continue to evaluate whether this community aligns with my own personal values.

Cheers
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lockedforfun
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2018 7:37 pm

Re: Chastity Break

Post by lockedforfun »

Your kink is okay, as long as it doesn't demand other people unwillingly participate in it. If it does, then it's not okay.

When people come onto this board and start acting "in character" they are demanding the rest of us engage in their exhibitionist kink. That's not okay. Kink - like all sex - is either consensual, or it's wrong. It's either shared enjoyment, or it's wrong. And just because me and some other random guy share the kink of male chastity, that doesn't mean we automatically share every other kink.

You talk about a "safe space." Here's the "safe space" I want. I want a place where my wife - who has less than zero interest in men wearing panties and dressing up as sissy maids - can hear about male chastity without having it linked with other kinks she is turned off by. If she thinks that sissymaids is some automatic evolution of our chastity kink, then she's going to drop it and check out of the fantasy we share because she does not want to be married to a cuckholded panty-wearing sissy maid. I have less than zero interest in being any of those things myself, and me saying that is not shaming anyone who does. Exactly the same as me saying I'm straight and not interested in sex with other men is not shaming anyone who is gay.

People need to accept that not everybody likes the same things they do and that not everybody has to. Your sexuality is your sexuality. You don't get to share it with anyone else who doesn't want you to. It is not "shaming" if I say "no thank you, I don't want to participate in your kink."

I think I've said this before, but the real distinction between "someone who's kinky" and a "pervert" is that a "pervert" tries to force their wants onto others without first making sure it's okay. That's why the word has negative connotations.

So be kinky, just don't be a pervert.
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slave d
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Re: Chastity Break

Post by slave d »

Lockedforfun: While i don’t not disagree with your theory in practice kinks overlap to a greater or lesser degree in all forums, i don’t generally talk about it but i wear panties at MsM’s request, She runs the house and i do the housework, suits us both. As i say i generally don’t talk about it in this forum BUT sometimes i do, people ask questions about various variations of the chastity kink and i answer if i’m able. If other people can’t handle reading that then they need to start their own forum with their own rigid set of rules and be the sole president of it all !! The moderators here a very good at dealing with the type of thing you dislike ie: people acting as sub sissies etc, so we don’t need to get upset about it. This forum is already run well without the rest of deciding our opinion is more important than somebody else’s and if a person is going to be put off trying a kink with their hubby because of what they read here then they were always going to find a reason not to participate. Nobody I’ve seen here is suggesting anybody else should indulge in their particular sub kink so i feel there’s no need for you to worry yourself about them talking about it. If it’s something unacceptable report it, if it’s just not your thing, read something else and if it interests you ask questions.

MsM’s ld
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Tom Allen
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Re: Chastity Break

Post by Tom Allen »

Okay everyone, we generally don't do this, but I think this thread has run its course. To reiterate: this entire forum was started for those who were mainly vanilla, or those who might be new and nervous to esk questions and explore chastity & denial without the distraction of some of the more extreme kinks that would turn off (or scare off) potentially interested partners. There are other web forums for those discussions; this is a safe, vanilla space, and we intend to remain that way.

Once in a while we get posts like the one from Vinnie/Steve/whoever, but we let them stand, figuring that most of the existing members know who to ignore, and most of the new members will quickly figure it out and not be sussed by the (thankfully rare) posts, and will appreciate the many, many good posts that the members have made over the last 10 years.
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SteveOD
Posts: 110
Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2020 9:55 pm
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Re: Chastity Break

Post by SteveOD »

After on and off chastity, I am back into my HT4 Nano full time. For a few months I was on Medication that completely killed my libido so there was no need to be locked up. I am on a different medication now and horny all the time so my wife locked it up so I would stop bothering her. She is rarely horny, for me that is. She masturbates with her vibrator most of the time and sex is me kissing her as she does it until she comes. Then she leaves the bed for me to clean up. Maybe in two or three weeks she will repeat this again just to keep me horny.

She has zero interest in me sexually and misses her girlfriend. It is out or love that she lets me help her cum and give me an orgasm every few months.
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