Chastity is not.....

Living the real life under lock and key
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SteveOD
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Chastity is not.....

Post by SteveOD »

- Becoming a sissy
- All of a sudden want to do all the housework
- Becoming submissive in your non sex life
- Doing all the things listed as what happens when you are locked in chastity.
- Not all about the cage.
- Not a way to keep you orgasm free because you can orgasm in any cage you wear in several ways.
- Wanting your wife/girlfriend to have sex with other men.
- Getting pegged and/or whipped.
- Desiring to eat other men's semen
- Being humiliated at home or in front of others.
- Desiring men to fuck you.
- Wearing feminine clothes.
- Looking for that perfect escape proof cage.
- Being someone's slave
- Not for the large majority of men who try it.

-Chastity is not self locking. Why? two main components of chastity are missing. A power exchange over your orgasms with a key holder and regular sex minus orgasms. Although a valid and no less then Chasity, it is more appropriately classified as celibacy due to the lack of sex. The experiences are very different, but each is of equal value. Just different. I cannot relate to a self locker because I have given control over my orgasms to my wife and we have regular sex minus my orgasms. If I locked up myself I become both prisoner and warden. There is no one that I gave power to who controls my orgasms, only me and I am too weak for that. I have never met a man who self locked that lasted more than a few months. They might exist but once again that is celibacy such as practiced by Priests and Monks. Not the same fetish. Equal yet different.

Another practice which falls between self locking and regular Chasity is having a professional key holder who controls your orgasms BUT does not have sex with you. Absence the sex, it technically is also Celibacy too or maybe something else someone has a word for. All three are valid fetishes but provide different experiences which is why sometimes it is difficult to relate among the various forms of chastity typer fetishes.

Chastity is simply giving your key holder control over your penis and when/how you have sex, locked or not. It is keeping a promise to not make yourself orgasm. There are many ways to orgasm when locked up. Just watch the porn videos to see it. So it is not the cage that matters but rather the promise. The cage is the symbol of your promise serving much like a wedding band. A wedding band is a promise to be monogamous, in most cases, and is just a ring that cannot stop you from cheating if that is what you want to do.

However chastity can be part of a larger fetish like D/s Cuckolding, etc.. In this case chastity is not the main fetish but rather a minor part of it. Chastity can stand on its own. For us it was part of our poly lifestyle where my wife's girlfriend was into sexually dominating me and I needed her permission to orgasm. She would bring home condoms filled with the semen of guys she had sex with and her husband to pour into my mouth. However we moved away from her and at our age BDSM cannot be performed at the same high level it used to me. I do not heal quickly anymore and other things like that so we basically have sex with my wife using a vibrator on herself while playing with my nipples and balls/penis. She needs me to moan to trigger her intense orgasms. For us, our sexual fetishes end at the bedroom door. Outside of that, and having to wear my cage all the timer, the rest of our marriage is the same as our friends and family. It has always been this way even in our poly lifestyle with BDSM. I was submissive only during sex. Afterwards I was the dominant one in the poly triad while my wife was dominant over our girlfriend who was dominant over her husband and sometime other lovers in her other relationships. I was also dominant over my other female sex partners.

The one thing all forms of chastity have is sitting down to pee. :)

11 years locked 24/7. To be honest, we do occasionally take a break from it for a few weeks or a month each year just to enjoy each other in a loving way and check the plumbing down there. We have also been into BDSM for 49 years on and off with a girlfriend we shared for about 30 years who lived with us full and part time. We figure that we have had about 2000 threesomes during our marriage. Probably more than some porn stars. :)

So what do you think about the various forms of "Chastity" play and differences between them?
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Tom Allen
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Re: Chastity is not.....

Post by Tom Allen »

The one thing all forms of chastity have is sitting down to pee. :)
I specifically have or modify my cages to allow me to use them at a urinal or standing. 🤔
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TwistedMister
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Re: Chastity is not.....

Post by TwistedMister »

Tom Allen wrote: Wed Aug 18, 2021 4:41 am
The one thing all forms of chastity have is sitting down to pee. :)
I specifically have or modify my cages to allow me to use them at a urinal or standing. 🤔
I didn't even have to modify mine.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Chastity is not.....

Post by KittensBoyToy »

It is also not necessary to sit to pee in my case, just to make sure I am lined up right in my Jail Bird.

Beyond that, Steve, I think you wrote an excellent commentary on the chastity lifestyle. Some of the things you listed do become part of the lifestyle for some men but they aren't necessarily an effect of chastity. Remove the chastity element and a submissive would likely still be a submissive. In order for a relationship/marriage to be totally Female Led the desire and personality traits have to exist in both people. Otherwise it is just role play.

In our case M'Lady's dominate side had been buried inside her. It surfaced after we got into chastity along with a sexual being neither of us ever knew existed. I do the housework, am submissive, and consider myself to be a collared slave in many aspects of our relationship. I also still have the freedom to occasionally take off on the Harley and ride with my oldest son or to have a few beers with my youngest.
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Re: Chastity is not.....

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

SteveOD wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 11:25 pm

-Chastity is not self locking. Why? two main components of chastity are missing. A power exchange over your orgasms with a key holder and regular sex minus orgasms. Although a valid and no less then Chasity, it is more appropriately classified as celibacy due to the lack of sex. The experiences are very different, but each is of equal value. Just different. I cannot relate to a self locker because I have given control over my orgasms to my wife and we have regular sex minus my orgasms. If I locked up myself I become both prisoner and warden. There is no one that I gave power to who controls my orgasms, only me and I am too weak for that. I have never met a man who self locked that lasted more than a few months. They might exist but once again that is celibacy such as practiced by Priests and Monks. Not the same fetish. Equal yet different.
OK . . but I have been self locking for 10 years now.

Do I wish there was a power exchange with a keyholder? You bet I do, but that is not going to happen. My otherwise wonderful wife of 43 years simply won't play. So, I have monthly goals as to how many hours I must be locked up and how many orgasms I am allowed. They are fairly aggressive goals, and I always meet them.

I have a Kitchen Safe that I often use when I want that truly out-of-control feeling, which is often. I use the safe with porn when I want tease & denial. As outlined in my Journey, I have found ways to passively involve my wife in situations that are sexually exciting for me that do not result in orgasms for me.

I love the physical and emotional feeling of chastity devices and derive a great deal of pleasure from "chastity" even though it isn't your version of it or everything I wish it could be.
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SteveOD
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Re: Chastity is not.....

Post by SteveOD »

As I said, all versions are equal, just different experiences. Take BDSM as an example. It encompasses a lot of things each a different experience with a unique name like Impact play, CBT, etc. All fall under the umbrella of BDSM and yet they are all different experiences and what is central and important to one may not be a problem for another which is why there are often separate forums for the various forms of BDSM. I started out on the honor system with my wife's steady girlfriend who would tell me when I could have an orgasm. Heck I have not had intercourse for 15-20 year. My chastity involves no penetration so I practice a different form of chastity too. It is all good.

My wife was reluctant at first until she saw how intense my orgasms were when I was denied them for weeks. He also got used to making sex all about her pleasure and now has intense multiple orgasm. She does not want to go back to our non chastity sex life. It took a year or so for her to get over the guilt of not doing her wifely duty and measuring her desirability by how hard she could make me and how intense my orgasms were. Now she does not need that validation anymore. It was a process. I thanked her when she did not allow me to orgasm and said nothing when she allowed my orgasms. It was simple psychological conditioning over a long period of time. The intensity of my arousal when denied an orgasm took the place of the intensity of my orgasms.

In the end if you enjoy it, that is what matters.
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