Just a two year update

Living the real life under lock and key
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Mr Pickle
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Just a two year update

Post by Mr Pickle »

I have posted this in my journey and thought I might share it here as well. Often the question arises "why?" are we all insane?
I thought this might clarify things or put me straight into the asylum.
Either way. I Hope it makes sense to someone.

It's two years now since we started this journey.. We'll, I say 'we'.. C Definitely wasn't on board

I'll start again.

It has been two years since 'I' started this journey. What a ride so far.
The first year was difficult, lots of trial, error and a great deal of resistance from C, but it did bring about many changes, and it did open the door to new Kinks and a more exciting life.

For me it was always exciting, but try as I might, I couldn't get away from it being about me at the end of the day, and C found it all too much.

The second year. C did get on board. I eventually had the courage and sense to let C take the reigns. It was when C took over. That is when the real changes started to happen. The real improvements, Permanent changes, life improvements that have changed us both.

The second year became more about 'us' and certainly a lot more about C.
I think statistically, the fist year I was locked 50% of the time, much of which was me locking me and C putting up with it.
This last year over 90% with C being the one to insist.

On the sex side. I would say at least a 400% frequency increase and ironically, it is no longer about the sex anyway. The preasure has gone, and the gates have opened.

Relationship wise, the increase in how we get on, bond, play and find each other of interest. The need to be together. Is immeasurable.

The cage hasn't done this, it was a catalyst in a way.
We did this.
C did this.
The cage hasn't altered us or changed us, it has helped us discover who we are and realise that we like each other. A lot!

The real changes came about as a result of being able to communicate, being able to listen and get in tune with each other.
The cage has enabled C to say No. To help herself when it suits her, without preasure, guilt or resentment.

My ed has gone.. mainly. I realise It was never really there, it was all in my head, caused more by my needs and expectations and failures and doubts.

The cage.. Helps. It gives us something to point at or blame or use, that in a way side steps the awkwardness of not being in the mood or wanting to ask for something unusual.
No is replaced with "I'm keeping you locked" which has turned a No into a sexual thing, a happy thing.

I actually told C I have fantasies of being butt fucked by her yesterday. And she wasn't shocked or appalled, she just made a mental note rather than the expected 'shut it down' .

Who, in a normal relationship can have this type of conversation?
Anyone. The hard bit is having a normal relationship.

Two years ago.. I genuinely found it difficult to ask C if we might be able to have sex. And then I would belive any 'ok' from C was given begrudgingly and I would lose my erections. A complete failure.

Now.. If my erections did fail. And I can't remember when it last did, I'd laugh about it and C would lock it up and find another use for me. We don't need 'it' anyway to have great sex.

We don't even have to have sex to have great sex!
Some of the best moments are in the here and now. A word, a look, a promise of being kept locked, of being denied..

Being told C won't be using my dick any time soon is incredibly erotic. Two years ago it would have destroyed me as a man.

So. Two years on. Cock is in a caged and I'm used as a kind of sex toy. I have less orgasms than I ever have. I do housework, look after the kids, spend less time with "the boys" drink less beer and I don't argue with my wife.
I'm constantly reminded that I'm under the thumb or held by the balls. I serve, I worship. I'm proud and I'm loved.

I feel more A man now than I have felt my entire life.
Last edited by Mr Pickle on Tue Jul 27, 2021 5:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
5 x
Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
Homebody
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Re: Just a two year update

Post by Homebody »

That’s great. It sounds like your relationship is really working for both of you. Thanks for updating your journal often. I enjoy reading it.
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mikel2411
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Re: Just a two year update

Post by mikel2411 »

Thanks MP
I have been finding the same things since I included my KH in my chastity play, it wasn't easy and she had been very reluctant but just the other day she thanked me for introducing her to the concept and feels it gave HER permission to act out her own fantasies some don't even include me LOL.
Other than a few misfires and issues with learning my own limits while chastised I have found the exact same "freedom" you described here and so has she.
Mikel
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Currently locked in custom BA 34R, also use Ba-20 with triple base ring occasionally switched for BA 25 with double base ring.
Chastityat60
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Re: Just a two year update

Post by Chastityat60 »

I am just starting again after several failed attempts.
She is just now beginning to accept how important this is for me.
Recent weekend away together brought about a wonderful chastity conversation. She has agreed for me to be self locking between our love making. ...as soon as new locks come..
Sounds like your first year.
I’m not sure if she will desire any sort of dominance over my orgasms or erections...or even flr. So far, she has been happy to be loved, cherished, cared for, and safe.
Not sure what this will look like in a year.
Now comes where the fun kinda fantasy play part meets the going to work every day part.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: Just a two year update

Post by Mr Pickle »

Chastityat60 wrote: Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:26 am Not sure what this will look like in a year.
Honestly.. It is not worth guessing or wondering what it will be like
I did, which in turn becomes a kind of mental plan, which in turn means you have to have some control.. And this is where it goes wrong.
At the one year mark I took the plunge and trusted my wife to treat me fairly, in what ever way she felt was right for her.
No Asking. No expecting. No wishing. Just being patient and quietly hoping and most of all. Helping for no return or reward. Helping for the joy of knowing you have eased the burden (that came from you or your seed more than likley), and soon the real her emerges from the weight of it all.
Everything changed after that, I had a few panic attacks, I got very nervous and my wife pushed me to the brink on a few occasions. Then it just got good. Then better than good and then astoundingly good. For both of us, not for me or the wife, but both as a team.
We choose our partners for a reason, it may be years later, but that person is still there, everything you found attractive and exciting is still there. It just needs to be coaxed out again and I'm afraid to say most men simply don't have the skills or the empathy or the basic understanding to do this. We don't understand women or what they go through or how strong they are despite also being fragile of heart.
That's why in general, the wife (or femenine) half should be the one holding the reigns. It has to be their way, their pace. Otherwise this is just one more thing to cause harm and resentment.
So I use the words imortalised by the frozen film song "let it go, let it go"
1 x
Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
TwistedMister
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Re: Just a two year update

Post by TwistedMister »

You've come a long way...though at times it seems like you like to push your luck...
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
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Mr Pickle
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Re: Just a two year update

Post by Mr Pickle »

TwistedMister wrote: Mon Aug 02, 2021 6:51 am You've come a long way...though at times it seems like you like to push your luck...
Yep.. I'm still learning too. Its in my nature to push, step over the line, I can't resist that red button that says "Do Not Push" .

I'm learning as much about myself as I am about C. A true voyage of discovery. Not always easy, and not always in the right direction.
0 x
Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
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