Just a two year update
Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2021 5:27 am
I have posted this in my journey and thought I might share it here as well. Often the question arises "why?" are we all insane?
I thought this might clarify things or put me straight into the asylum.
Either way. I Hope it makes sense to someone.
It's two years now since we started this journey.. We'll, I say 'we'.. C Definitely wasn't on board
I'll start again.
It has been two years since 'I' started this journey. What a ride so far.
The first year was difficult, lots of trial, error and a great deal of resistance from C, but it did bring about many changes, and it did open the door to new Kinks and a more exciting life.
For me it was always exciting, but try as I might, I couldn't get away from it being about me at the end of the day, and C found it all too much.
The second year. C did get on board. I eventually had the courage and sense to let C take the reigns. It was when C took over. That is when the real changes started to happen. The real improvements, Permanent changes, life improvements that have changed us both.
The second year became more about 'us' and certainly a lot more about C.
I think statistically, the fist year I was locked 50% of the time, much of which was me locking me and C putting up with it.
This last year over 90% with C being the one to insist.
On the sex side. I would say at least a 400% frequency increase and ironically, it is no longer about the sex anyway. The preasure has gone, and the gates have opened.
Relationship wise, the increase in how we get on, bond, play and find each other of interest. The need to be together. Is immeasurable.
The cage hasn't done this, it was a catalyst in a way.
We did this.
C did this.
The cage hasn't altered us or changed us, it has helped us discover who we are and realise that we like each other. A lot!
The real changes came about as a result of being able to communicate, being able to listen and get in tune with each other.
The cage has enabled C to say No. To help herself when it suits her, without preasure, guilt or resentment.
My ed has gone.. mainly. I realise It was never really there, it was all in my head, caused more by my needs and expectations and failures and doubts.
The cage.. Helps. It gives us something to point at or blame or use, that in a way side steps the awkwardness of not being in the mood or wanting to ask for something unusual.
No is replaced with "I'm keeping you locked" which has turned a No into a sexual thing, a happy thing.
I actually told C I have fantasies of being butt fucked by her yesterday. And she wasn't shocked or appalled, she just made a mental note rather than the expected 'shut it down' .
Who, in a normal relationship can have this type of conversation?
Anyone. The hard bit is having a normal relationship.
Two years ago.. I genuinely found it difficult to ask C if we might be able to have sex. And then I would belive any 'ok' from C was given begrudgingly and I would lose my erections. A complete failure.
Now.. If my erections did fail. And I can't remember when it last did, I'd laugh about it and C would lock it up and find another use for me. We don't need 'it' anyway to have great sex.
We don't even have to have sex to have great sex!
Some of the best moments are in the here and now. A word, a look, a promise of being kept locked, of being denied..
Being told C won't be using my dick any time soon is incredibly erotic. Two years ago it would have destroyed me as a man.
So. Two years on. Cock is in a caged and I'm used as a kind of sex toy. I have less orgasms than I ever have. I do housework, look after the kids, spend less time with "the boys" drink less beer and I don't argue with my wife.
I'm constantly reminded that I'm under the thumb or held by the balls. I serve, I worship. I'm proud and I'm loved.
I feel more A man now than I have felt my entire life.
I thought this might clarify things or put me straight into the asylum.
Either way. I Hope it makes sense to someone.
It's two years now since we started this journey.. We'll, I say 'we'.. C Definitely wasn't on board
I'll start again.
It has been two years since 'I' started this journey. What a ride so far.
The first year was difficult, lots of trial, error and a great deal of resistance from C, but it did bring about many changes, and it did open the door to new Kinks and a more exciting life.
For me it was always exciting, but try as I might, I couldn't get away from it being about me at the end of the day, and C found it all too much.
The second year. C did get on board. I eventually had the courage and sense to let C take the reigns. It was when C took over. That is when the real changes started to happen. The real improvements, Permanent changes, life improvements that have changed us both.
The second year became more about 'us' and certainly a lot more about C.
I think statistically, the fist year I was locked 50% of the time, much of which was me locking me and C putting up with it.
This last year over 90% with C being the one to insist.
On the sex side. I would say at least a 400% frequency increase and ironically, it is no longer about the sex anyway. The preasure has gone, and the gates have opened.
Relationship wise, the increase in how we get on, bond, play and find each other of interest. The need to be together. Is immeasurable.
The cage hasn't done this, it was a catalyst in a way.
We did this.
C did this.
The cage hasn't altered us or changed us, it has helped us discover who we are and realise that we like each other. A lot!
The real changes came about as a result of being able to communicate, being able to listen and get in tune with each other.
The cage has enabled C to say No. To help herself when it suits her, without preasure, guilt or resentment.
My ed has gone.. mainly. I realise It was never really there, it was all in my head, caused more by my needs and expectations and failures and doubts.
The cage.. Helps. It gives us something to point at or blame or use, that in a way side steps the awkwardness of not being in the mood or wanting to ask for something unusual.
No is replaced with "I'm keeping you locked" which has turned a No into a sexual thing, a happy thing.
I actually told C I have fantasies of being butt fucked by her yesterday. And she wasn't shocked or appalled, she just made a mental note rather than the expected 'shut it down' .
Who, in a normal relationship can have this type of conversation?
Anyone. The hard bit is having a normal relationship.
Two years ago.. I genuinely found it difficult to ask C if we might be able to have sex. And then I would belive any 'ok' from C was given begrudgingly and I would lose my erections. A complete failure.
Now.. If my erections did fail. And I can't remember when it last did, I'd laugh about it and C would lock it up and find another use for me. We don't need 'it' anyway to have great sex.
We don't even have to have sex to have great sex!
Some of the best moments are in the here and now. A word, a look, a promise of being kept locked, of being denied..
Being told C won't be using my dick any time soon is incredibly erotic. Two years ago it would have destroyed me as a man.
So. Two years on. Cock is in a caged and I'm used as a kind of sex toy. I have less orgasms than I ever have. I do housework, look after the kids, spend less time with "the boys" drink less beer and I don't argue with my wife.
I'm constantly reminded that I'm under the thumb or held by the balls. I serve, I worship. I'm proud and I'm loved.
I feel more A man now than I have felt my entire life.