Chastity Contract

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alittlesubthing

Chastity Contract

Post by alittlesubthing »

Greetings Keyholders and Lockees,

Im trying to find Chastity Contract templates for myself (Lockee) and a potential Keyholder (Male to Male) and conversed and tried many times with Keyholders but found its been a 'make up as he goes along' kind of situation, not setting out term/rules from the outset, which quickly taught me that the 'make up as they go along' was exposing their lack of knowledge, and it has lead to problems, so this time i want not only to inform myself of what could appear in these contracts but also expose my potential keyholder's knowledge and the use of a contract cements the relationship between us and thats its took seriously, both knowing what is and is not acceptable, and as these templates can be amended/added to its somehthing we can create together...

Hope someone can help, so if youre a Dom male keyholder using such a contract with your male locked submissive, i love to hear from you.

Kind regards.
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alittlesubthing

Re: Chastity Contract

Post by alittlesubthing »

I might add that we are not in any relationship currently and do live apart, so anything that requires his physical presence ie punishments wouldnt apply. But i guess we can remove those clauses from any template.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Chastity Contract

Post by KittensBoyToy »

You specify that you want templates from male/male couples. Why? While there will be differences involved, the basic concept and rules behind male chastity whether the dominate partner is male or female.
Last edited by KittensBoyToy on Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Kitten's Boy Toy
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alittlesubthing

Re: Chastity Contract

Post by alittlesubthing »

I dont mind either way as you say, i just put additional info further explaining my situation.
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SteveOD
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Re: Chastity Contract

Post by SteveOD »

Chastity contracts are not worth the paper they are printed on. They usually say what the sub wants the dominant partner to do which takes all the power away from the the key holder. What if the key holder is not in the mood to do the punishment in the contract? You would basically be telling the key holder what to do. Chasity is simple. Sex is for the pleasure of the key holder, period. If he wants to punish you, h decides what kind of punishment and when. Your job is easy. You do not orgasm with permission. That is the only rule. Anything else is you telling the key-holder what you want him to do.

Just sit down and talk about it. When we started out we talked once a week for about 15 minutes as to what worked or not. After a while you do not need to talk about it anymore. If you write down that he is to whip you if you ask for an orgasm, who is actually telling who what to do?

After 11 years of full time chastity, my wife just does what she wants to. On my end I only give her control over my penis and she takes it from there. I do not tell her what to do. She does what she wants or not. I just keep my promise not to orgasm without her permission. Everything else is sex the way she wants it, not the way I want it. Try just talking a few minutes each week until you both find out what you both like but never ever tell your key holder what they must do. They do not have to punish you because you want to be whipped and so you do something that you know will result in whipping. The key holder does what he wants and when he wants. He owns your penis and he decides to punish you or not. You will find that chastity is better when you do not make it complicated and make key holding to be a chore.

My wife holds the keys. She decides when and how we have sex. Usually me wearing nipple clips and her ball busting so I moan which turns her on and she cums hard on her vibrator. Some times she unlocks me during sex to tease me. Sometimes she makes me wear a hood so I cannot see her naked or BDSM gloves so I cannot feel her. Her choice. If you cannot practice self control and not orgasm locked or not, you will not last long in chastity as most do not. Few last long in chastity because the thought of it is arousing but when that wears off and you really want to orgasm, it is no longer the same as your fantasy anymore.

Just do not orgasm and let your key holder control you penis, That is it. You can easily orgasm when locked up, very easily, so you will need self control and not rely on the chastity device to prevent you from having orgasms.
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TwistedMister
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Re: Chastity Contract

Post by TwistedMister »

That ain't necessarily so. A 'contract' can be helpful for some people, outlining and clarifying the expectations of both parties. Thinking that it is only the 'sub' creating a contract to dictate terms to the 'dom' is false. Both parties can work together in the creation of the 'contract', and having done so, both are clear on the terms and both are clear on what will happen if the conditions are not met.

A 'contract' can be a useful tool to guide the parties in their exploration of their alternative style, whether they see it as merely a 'game' or as a 'lifestyle', especially when first beginning such an exploration. It can also be useful for defining 'limits'- what lines are not to be crossed under any circumstances, and what areas may potentially be explored under certain conditions.

As time goes on the 'contract' can be reviewed at various points, and modified to suit the changing needs/desires of both parties. As time passes, one party or the other may find that some things that they thought they desired are less important, and other things that they felt were not tolerable may become an area of interest for further exploration.

The statement that all contracts are worthless to all people is a narrow-minded opinion which is valid only for the holder of that opinion. All people are not the same, and there are about as many ways of 'doing' chastity or any other form of 'power exchange' as there are people. There is no 'one right way'. It is up to each party involved to determine the guidelines, expectations and limitations of their participation,and the use of a 'contract' is one way to do that.
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
Chastityat60
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Re: Chastity Contract

Post by Chastityat60 »

TwistedMister wrote: Sun Aug 01, 2021 9:44 am That ain't necessarily so. A 'contract' can be helpful for some people, outlining and clarifying the expectations of both parties. Thinking that it is only the 'sub' creating a contract to dictate terms to the 'dom' is false. Both parties can work together in the creation of the 'contract', and having done so, both are clear on the terms and both are clear on what will happen if the conditions are not met.

A 'contract' can be a useful tool to guide the parties in their exploration of their alternative style, whether they see it as merely a 'game' or as a 'lifestyle', especially when first beginning such an exploration. It can also be useful for defining 'limits'- what lines are not to be crossed under any circumstances, and what areas may potentially be explored under certain conditions.

As time goes on the 'contract' can be reviewed at various points, and modified to suit the changing needs/desires of both parties. As time passes, one party or the other may find that some things that they thought they desired are less important, and other things that they felt were not tolerable may become an area of interest for further exploration.

The statement that all contracts are worthless to all people is a narrow-minded opinion which is valid only for the holder of that opinion. All people are not the same, and there are about as many ways of 'doing' chastity or any other form of 'power exchange' as there are people. There is no 'one right way'. It is up to each party involved to determine the guidelines, expectations and limitations of their participation,and the use of a 'contract' is one way to do that.
Well done,
This is why I find myself here.
Still very new, still learning..
thank you for bringing balance to topics like this.
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Connecticut_couple
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Re: Chastity Contract

Post by Connecticut_couple »

We cobbled together a contract when we first started a few months ago based on ones we found online. We found ourselves editing bit a few times, basically adding things more and more in her favor. After a few times it just seems silly since we continue to evolve over time and she basically said she will do what she wants and set the rules anyway. It was fun at first but really sort of just became guidelines.
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WifeIsVanilla
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Re: Chastity Contract

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

In addition to being fun, the process helps a great deal with communication, making sure you are both on the same page. (Poor pun intended.)
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Steve2059
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Re: Chastity Contract

Post by Steve2059 »

When we started out we had a contract, in the form of a set of rules that I had to follow. Because I was leading the way and we were both new, and my wife had apprehensions, I went off and wrote down every rule I could think of, from housework rotas to home nudity to sexual practices and use of toys.

Steve OD has a point when he says that a contract is a list of what the sub wants to happen, which is why I liked the idea of a longlist.

I presented these to my wife, who read them through and proceeded to approve or cross out each idea, while adding one or two of her own. The result was an agreement rather biased towards chores (though performed in prescribed and challenging ways), and also to caging and denial which of course put little pressure on her. Her key addition was that if I whinged or started to initiate or pester, the whole deal was off.

I certainly learned self-control because I knew she was serious.

While the rules still exist, our dynamic is such that She's a confident dominant and I'm submissive and we both love it and that's all we need now. But having stuff written down when we started really made it possible to get our lifestyle off the ground.
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