Strap On sex Revisited

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KittensBoyToy
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Strap On sex Revisited

Post by KittensBoyToy »

There have been discussions in the past on the subjects of strap on harnesses, dildos and their use. I know there are others like me that, when they see an old thread brought up, will only read the last few most recent posts. Doing that we miss much of what was said by those with experience in whatever the subject was. For that reason I decided to start a new thread.

What prompted this discussion was something my Mistress said to me a few nights ago. She had never warmed up to the idea of strap on sex but said she wanted to try it again. Time to do some research to find a way to make it pleasurable for her.

We had bought 2 different harness/dildo combinations not long after we started in the chastity lifestyle. The first one quickly got put aside and forgotten. The harness was uncomfortable, hard to adjust and difficult to keep in place once it was on. The dildo was too big for her comfort and too hard. The second harness is much better. Comfortable to wear, even over/around the cage, for as long as she wants it on me. The second dildo was also a big improvement. Much softer to the touch, more realistic and very close to my size. What she still didn't like were the coldness of the dildo to start with and that lubrication can sometimes be a problem for her.

I did some searches i\on the forum and found posts by @Tom Allen about warming up the dido in a thermos of hot water. After some back and forth PMs with Tom I'm going to experiment a little with ours to see how long it needs to be in the water to warm up close to body temperature or slightly above. I also want to know how long it will retain the heat so I can get it set in the rings of the harness. I'm sure I have an old thermos or 2 laying around somewhere. If not a trip to Goodwill or Wally world is in order. That should take care of the cold dildo problem.

We have a variety of lubricants but most of the water based ones are thin and can be a mess to use. Looking on the Vixskin website I found the only one they sell is a water based gel called 'Slippery Stuff'. I did a little bit of checking and couldn't find anything bad said about it. It is sold and shipped by Amazon Prime with next day delivery. (I'm guessing it is stocked at the warehouse here in town.) Second problem solved.

New problem...I talked to M'Lady about all this and told her that the Vixskin dildos were the ones that seemed everyone raved about as being the best but they are on the expensive side. He only response was, "So?". Looks like we will be doing some online shopping so she can pick out her new cock! They have a couple that are close in size to me. That has been her preference up to this point but she is always surprising me so she might decide to go bigger. It is strictly her decision.

What say the other members, both guys and the ladies, on the subject?
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Kitten's Boy Toy
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by KittensBoyToy »

This is the harness we started out with.
First Harness.jpg
First Harness.jpg (58.68 KiB) Viewed 3421 times
The new and improved version.
New Harness.jpg
New Harness.jpg (43.23 KiB) Viewed 3421 times
New Harness 2.jpg
New Harness 2.jpg (46.91 KiB) Viewed 3421 times
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nosaint
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by nosaint »

We just use a tall insulated cup she never used. Put the Vixskin in the harness, and headfirst into the hottest tap water I can get. (my tank is set on 130 degrees) Then we start fooling around, by the time she's ready for the vixskin, it's warm, call it 30 minutes. We just use Astro glide available at Kroger and probably multiple other stores. It's a water based lube that's been around for years, works fine, reasonably priced. Years ago we tried a baby bottle warmer, but it got too hot. Maybe they've changed the design so it can be set at a definite temp.

True Story: A few years ago we were in Amsterdam, we didn't pack the lube due to TSA restrictions on liquids. So when we got there getting lube would be needed if we were going to fool around at all. She went to a pharmacy and ended up talking to two different teenagers/young women neither of whom spoke good English (rare in Amsterdam) It took her a good 20 minutes to try and explain, with hand gestures I think, what she wanted and get the product. It was silicone based. I never cared for it. I didn't have the heart to tell her that at approximately the same time, I walked into the corner sex shop, said "lube" to the older woman behind the counter and she said "water or silicone" Water. I was out in less than 3 minutes. Never had the heart to tell her that story :lol:
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slave d
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by slave d »

Vixskin are the best !! i see they’re now making a new 3 layer one that’s even dearer but sounds and looks amazing !! Find a harness that suits you. MsM has strap-on sex 3 times a week, She always rides cowgirl, i simply place the Vixskin in a container (Tupperware type) of hot water from the tap for about 10 minutes and we're good to go !

MsM’s ld
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Michele
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by Michele »

We have a harness that cups the cage so hubby can stay locked. If I remember right, we got it at stockroom.com

It was one of our best finds because the cage would always bounce around, hit me and get distracting.
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Clearstatic
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by Clearstatic »

I have a basic sportsheets harness. I stay locked. We use the vikskin mustang and a generic water based lube. She loves it only complaint being it's cold starting off. We plan on experimenting on what will work best to fix that.
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by Tom Allen »

First, we've taken to call male-wearing dildo as "foxing."
This came from various discussion around Twitter, Reddit, and other places - to fox means to fool, decoy, etc, and is a good verbal slide from "Faux," which described the dildo.

Anyhow...

We experimented with temperatures last year. Tap water will be about 130 to 140 F, and a good 20+ minutes in the thermos mug will bring the water temp down and the Vixskin up to 100 to 110 F. Thats close enough to body temperature, and since the silicone is a poor heat conductor it will stay there if you're using it.

I found that Mrs Edge *really* enjoys it heated to 120 to 125, where it's noticeably warmer than body temp. She's a bit spoiled by this now, and I'm afraid that normal body temp equipment would be a disappointment.

Note that she feels that 130 and up is too hot for comfort.

My routine is to fill the mug with hot water, and let the Vixskin sit while I take a shower. That equalizes the the mug and Vixskin temps, so I dump out the water and refresh with new hot water. By the time we're ready, it's perfect.

Also, if you regularly use lube, put some in a small 3.oz travel bottle and heat that in a little mug of hot water.
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by Michele »

We'll end up running the toys under tap water for a bit too to take the chill out
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by slave d »

As Tom says, put the lube in the same heating system !!

MsM’s ld
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After a year post covid of “freedom” I am trialing a good old HT V3 nub modified by me to have a glans ring so no pullout. Working well so far.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Strap On sex Revisited

Post by KittensBoyToy »

Thanks to all for the advice and tips. We tried warming up the dildo and Mistress said it made all the difference in the world. This time I used it in my hand. Maybe she will allow me to use the harness soon. Next up is to buy the Vixskin. She has decided on the Goodfellow.
Last edited by KittensBoyToy on Fri Oct 02, 2020 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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