I'm a jerk

[sirmebane]

If you have read my story (journey), you'll know that my wife isn't kinky. She recoils in horror at the thought of bondage and hates that I won't throw away those handcuffs. Eww.

With chastity, I thought I had found the ultimate compromise where she would be in charge and I would follow her lead and cope with being caged 24/7 to satisfy those bondage needs. This past weekend she let me out after 30 days of without having seen the key much less being allowed out of my jailbird. Long term chastity is our thing now, she gets it... she'll be mean to me any day now. It could happen. My fantasy is coming true. BCWYWF. Yeah!

She had set in motion an orgasm for me that involved her teasing me without mercy and my job was to masturbate myself while I hold off as long as I can. When she wants me to release, I cannot help myself. She knows how to push all of my buttons and I love her for it.

"I'll take care of the top, you take care of the bottom and then you'll lock right back up."

She had me very wound up and when I get very aroused, I love it when she talks to me. I love it. I screwed up and asked her panting as I did, 'what would you think if we stopped the whole chastity thing?' You know what I wanted to hear. She gave me a look through her eyebrows with as much puzzlement as she could muster. I knew what she was about to say but then she said, "Well, that entirely up to you."

Dagger in the heart. It is like the old joke about making love to a woman and she whispers quietly into your ear at the climax, 'white - we should paint the ceiling white.' I was sorely disappointed and I didn't lock back up. She doesn't get it. She would give it up in a minute. She doesn't care. Damn it.

I showed her no disappointment, I had an amazing orgasm and fully enjoyed myself otherwise. I let it go and have wandered around uncaged this week, keeping my broken fantasy to myself. I really wanted to go back in the cage the next day but not if she doesn't care about it. I seriously have thought about rubbing one out on my own just because.

In the following couple of days, she has started hinting that she knows I'm not caged. I'll get a touch on my thigh in bed, I'll get a glimpse toward my groin with quizzical look and twice now she has just grabbed me. This afternoon when I was helping her rub some balm on a sore muscle in her back, she reached back and squeezed my package. "This should be covered in metal." No questions, no threats of what might happen... she simply stated fact. I should be locked up because that's what I asked for and she was going to see it through.

Ugh, I'm a jerk. I'm so wrapped up in my fantasy that I lose track of how far she has come and what she's willing to do. No, she really doesn't care if I'm locked up or if we stopped chastity tomorrow. She wants me to be happy and if I'm happy with a cage around my cock, she's eager to please.

She's run off to do some errands so I gave myself a close shave and as I press submit on this post, I'll lock back up in my jailbird and return the key to her vanity so she can hide it again. I'm guilty of holding her to a standard she never agreed to and I have to do better at keeping fantasy and reality in their respective places.

Chastity, much like marriage, requires effort from both sides and I ran off the rails in my own mind.

I love my wife!

[WifeIsVanilla]

You have a wonderful wife, and much more accommodating than my wonderful wife.

Unfortunately, you overplayed your hand. OK. It's SO, SO easy to do.

It would seem that she has forgiven you for pushing too hard, so you should forgive yourself and proceed to enjoy to the max what she is comfortable doing.

[sirmebane]

You have a wonderful wife, and much more accommodating than my wonderful wife.

Unfortunately, you overplayed your hand. OK. It's SO, SO easy to do.

It would seem that she has forgiven you for pushing too hard, so you should forgive yourself and proceed to enjoy to the max what she is comfortable doing.

She is wonderful. She is giving. She just wants to take care of me and the kids. Her only 'failing' is that she isn't sexually adventurous which is the only complaint I can register and it is petty.

I'm not sure I overplayed my hand as much as I confused fantasy with what was really going on. I seriously doubt she registered my disappointment at all since I was careful not to show it to her. It wouldn't be fair. I'm trying hard not to top from the bottom but she just doesn't have those wicked ideas without a little direction.

There is enough going on in our little world that I don't need to add that stress. I need to be patient and keep things in perspective. I'm living the good life.

[slave d]

If you’ve still got kids at home your Wife has had no time to be sexually adventurous !!! She spends Her day worrying about all of your lives while you think about sex and masturbate !!! Wait till you have an empty nest and see what happens !!! better yet wait and see what happens when you’re both retired and She has you caged 24/7/365 and doesn’t allow you any orgasms at all while She has an average of 10 a week ! You’re just expecting far too much !!! That’s where we’re at but we were at your point many years back !!

MsM’s ld

[TwistedMister]

In the following couple of days, she has started hinting that she knows I'm not caged. I'll get a touch on my thigh in bed, I'll get a glimpse toward my groin with quizzical look and twice now she has just grabbed me. This afternoon when I was helping her rub some balm on a sore muscle in her back, she reached back and squeezed my package. "This should be covered in metal." No questions, no threats of what might happen... she simply stated fact. I should be locked up because that's what I asked for and she was going to see it through.

Do you need questions? Do you need threats?

She told you what she wants.

She may not be a 'dominatrix', she may not be comfortable acting as a dominatrix, if I were you I would take it as an order even if it was stated more 'matter-of-factly' than you might prefer. Her style may be different from what your fantasy thinks it should be, but it is what is currently comfortable for her. If you want to 'submit' to her, that was your opportunity to say "Yes, Ma'am", go and put the cage on and hand her the key. Doing so would have reinforced her sense of control.

I don't think you should look at it quite so darkly, it actually seems to me to be a major step forward. You were uncaged, and she told you that it should be otherwise- she took the lead and told you that you should be caged. You should take that as a promising sign.

[sirmebane]

Thanks @TwistedMister that's a reasonable take. I appreciate your thoughts.

[sls01234]

If you’ve still got kids at home your Wife has had no time to be sexually adventurous !!! She spends Her day worrying about all of your lives while you think about sex and masturbate !!! Wait till you have an empty nest and see what happens !!! better yet wait and see what happens when you’re both retired and She has you caged 24/7/365 and doesn’t allow you any orgasms at all while She has an average of 10 a week ! You’re just expecting far too much !!! That’s where we’re at but we were at your point many years back !!

MsM’s ld

So true I have learned to take it at her pace and wishes not mine. Since I started doing this it has been so much fun.

[Critter228]

you’re not a jerk. I’ve been in a very similar situation. I beat myself up and went into a deep depression soon after. Not just because of chastity but the emotions are strong and swing quickly as I’m sure you all know.

But you have someone who’s willing to do it with you. That’s a lot more than most. I’ve tried for five years to get my gf into it. I’ve had to lower my expectations. I think once she saw I stopped forcing it she actually instigated a little more. Still not where I’d like it but it’s more sincere and authentic when she instigates than when I forced the issue. Try to enjoy what you get after all it is about letting her have control. And this is what she wants. You can still live out your fantasies in other ways. Have you tried Chastikey app? I just discovered it. Seems promising.