Keys left out. Should thisbe upsetting me?

[Mr Pickle]

Hi guys. Not sure how best to go about this one.
I'm still at the point where I lock my self and leave the keys on my wives dresser for her.
Initially she would then put them somewhere else, and when getting them out made sure I didn't see where she was getting them from.
Sometimes my wife tells me to lock sometimes I wait then lock myself.

Recently however they stay where I put them on the dresser, just pushed back a bit. But in plain view.

I don't know if it's a test or lack of interest.

I'm pretty sure she would be irritated if I used them.

Maybe I should play it like it was "meant to be"

"I noticed you left the keys out for me honey, I have relieved myself assuming this was your wish. Thank you x"

Anyway. I find the key situation a bit upsetting but I'm not sure why?

Does it matter?

Do I ask? The whole thing is still fragile, I've had em thrown back at me in the past.

We are at the stage where the initial excitement and overblown expectations on my part have calmed down. On the whole things go on as normal and we just get on with it. The cage isn't a topic. it's just there. My wife has no problem with it and fondles me at night without thinking anything of it. Like she used always to before the cage.
When my wife is in a playful mood. Usually after a glass of wine she might tease me verbally and "get into it"

But if I try to discuss the cage or it does become part of a conversation she backs off rapidly and remembers it wierd all of a sudden.

So I'm not sure how or even if I should address this?

[Tomcat]

It’s not about you. It’s about her. We have this whole thing playing out in our minds. The one one thing we don’t take into account is life. Kids,homework,work all the normal things. What my wife and I have may not be mind blowing to some but for us it’s a start and it’s great. So from time to time I need to come back to reality and tell myself. It’s not about me. It’s about her. That my friend is all that matters.

[Hussman767]

Very true Tomcat.
Sometimes my wife wears the key around her neck. Sometimes she doesn’t and only hides it.
Doesn’t really bother me until she wants to unlock me to use her penis, or we go off for a weekend of just us two and she can’t find the key. LoL

[Mr Pickle]

Fair comment. Over thinking it as usual.

[sirmebane]

Upset? No. Disappointment may be a better word. It puts you in a no win scenario because you seriously don't want to unlock and screw things up but it is a 'break in the fantasy.' I'd compare it to an actor looking right into the camera and talking to the audience.

She isn't playing the game and that breaks the fantasy. We LIVE in the fantasy and they just visit for a few minutes a few times a week if we're lucky. You'll find many here that will tell you that there have been times when she "forgets you're locked."

Yeah, it is disappointing but if you're new to the game... she's still learning the rules and has no idea why that would matter to you. Tell her gently that it is important to the process. Don't forget to praise her and tell her how much fun you're having.

[Xileh]

It would help us respond if you told us what you hope to get out of chastity, and what she gets out of it.

[LockedUpNewb]

Just talk to her.

"Honey, it's really tempting for me when you leave the keys out. Could you do a little better job of hiding them? I won't look for them but when you leave them in plain sight it's very hard for me to be good."

[Mr Pickle]

"It would help us respond if you told us what you hope to get out of chastity, and what she gets out of it."

Ah. Now I think we are still working this out.
I'm now veering towards T&D. C is now fine with my being locked and has noticed the changes. She sees it as something to calm me down if I'm frisky. I don't pester for sex any more, but this in turn has meant we have more sex. I'm offered more.
C DOES not see the cage as a control thing. She doesn't want control (although it is used when convenient) . So that end of the fantasy isn't worth chasing. it may work its own way out.

I had my first edge and Ro yesyerday and we both enjoyed this. Maybe a new direction?

I'm trying to let it pan out how ever it does. I'm asked to wear the cage. This means a lot.
I have now taken lockedupnewbs advice and simply asked. Problem solved.

On the whole. The goal is the same as always. Happiness for both, or as near as we can get it. We both agree that as a couple things are better now than they have been for a long time. Something is working.

[locked4her55]

She sees it as something to calm me down if I'm frisky.

Complete opposite. Doesn't calm me down at all and as a result I'm usually more frisky. But, she likes that.

I'm asked to wear the cage.

I'm told to wear the cage

Maybe a new direction. I'm trying to let it pan out how ever it does.

Sounds like a good plan. Took us many months, if not years to get were we are now. Like many have said here before, "It's a journey not a destination"

[Mr Pickle]

[/quote]
Complete opposite. Doesn't calm me down at all and as a result I'm usually more frisky. But, she likes that.

For me this is also true. But it is also a very clear sign the Nothing will be happening.

Being told "forget it" nothing will happen. It can be disappointing. Being told to "lock it up" or "your staying locked" is not disappointing at all. Quite a warm tingly feeling.

I can't explain it. I Try to. But don't have the word.

C can't work this out. "Makes no sense". "But it's useful so I'll make use of it"