Taking a break - any advice?

[JamesandLucy]

So Lucy and I have been playing with chastity for a couple of months, and I've spent much of January locked up.

I've really enjoyed both the constraint and a bit of teasing, but it's coincided with a few weeks when Lucy hasn't really been in the mood - she's got a lot on her plate at the moment, and sexy thoughts aren't really happening for her.

She's happy for me to remain locked, but it seems a bit pointless if she's not really in the mood to receive pleasure (which is want I really want to focus on).

So we decided today to take a bit of a break, to take some of the intensity out of the situation and see if we can get back in sync (I've only been out of the cage for 20 minutes and I'm already missing it!).

What do others do in similar situations - do you take a break or do you keep caged and carry on?

James.

[Tom Allen]

We used to play for long terms - weeks or months at a time - and then we would take a break for a few months, and then I'm back in again.

As time went on, and Mrs Edge went through her womanly changes, her libido would ebb and flow (mostly ebb, actually ), and I'd often be left (ahem) to my own devices. Eventually it got to the point where she just preferred that I stay locked up. I didn't mind it, so I did. In fact, I found that it made me feel a little better about being, well, not neglected but put aside. Or something.

That said, I was already accustomed to long terms; YMMV. However, you may want to try remaining locked up for another month (or whatever) just to see how you deal with it.

[Tessasissy]

I have only been on this journey for a short time myself two months and eight day to be precise.

My thoughts for what they are worth are that it depends on why you are doing this. I myself would say as long as it is not the cause of the issue with Lucy then stay locked as from what I here, once you drop this for any lenght of time it can be more difficult to go back to it. The more you normalise it in your relationship the less it will be the focus except when Lucy wants it to be.

Not sure if these thoughts are of any use and would clearly defer to the knowledge of those that have been on the journey far longer than myself.

[TwistedMister]

What do others do in similar situations - do you take a break or do you keep caged and carry on?

It doesn't matter whether Mrs. Twisted is 'in the mood' or not. Fact is, we haven't had much opportunity since last November, between the holidays, being ill and other complications of 'normal' life (jobs, vehicle breakdowns, etc.), and the last time before that was three months earlier.

I just 'carry on' and I'm 'ready' whenever the time comes that she *is* 'in the mood'. The whole point is that *she* has the power and control, and *I* don't get to decide whether I'm going to go along with it or not...

[JamesandLucy]

Thanks Tom, interesting comments.

Lucy is happy for me to remain locked, and I do like the feeling, but it seems a little pointless if she isn't comfortable either with teasing me or (at some point) sharing orgasms. I think I need to have the reassurance that there will be an orgasm at some point, even if I don't know when.

I think part of the issue is that we're new to all this, and although we do communicate well, we're both a bit unsure of what we want and how to get there. I've suggested some dice games to take the control away from me but not necessarily make Lucy feel that she has to take over, so we'll see where that takes us.

Thanks again for your words.

James.

[danj]

Breaks can be good. I was locked most of the time for 6-7 months, though she still let me out to play often (she doesn't like to be denied access to "her" penis too long!). Then in early December, we were both ready for a chastity break. Now she's starting to tell me to lock up again. I don't think we're "doing chastity" any better or worse than any other couple. Just do what works for you and your wife and enjoy it!

[JamesandLucy]

TwistedMister, Tessasissy,

Thanks too for your input, it's appreciated. Seems like the advice is keep caged and carry on - I think that's what I'm minded to do (if for no other reason that it feels so good!). Lucy and I have made some massive changes to our sex life in the last year, from almost nothing to now being very fulfilling, and that was all down to communication, so I have no doubt that once we can get her current (non-relationship) concerns off her mind, we can settle down to enjoying each other again.

I'll keep you posted!

Thanks again.

James.

[JamesandLucy]

Thanks Dan,

You're absolutely right, there are no rules and as long as it works for the people in the relationship that's all that matters.

I think I'll ask Lucy if I can lock again - she knows there's no pressure on her (all of her concerns are about work and family health), so I'll be waiting for her when she needs me.

James.

PS your profile pic is really hot - I love it when Lucy sends me photos of her with the key in her necklace.

[Tom Allen]

The teasing and stuff is, for most folks new at this, the difference between feeling engaged and feeling neglected. So I understand your concern that remaining locked might feel pointless.

However, you can look at this as an opportunity to explore how *you* feel about it, and perhaps gain some insight as to where you might like this to go at some future point. That is, is being locked just a fun sex game, or could it be something more serious?

For me, those long terms helped me prepare for the possibility of permanent chastity and denial. Being locked for months with no expectation of release, let alone orgasm, helped me develop a different mindset.

[Skip]

I don't have the same experience as most guys here as I mostly self-lock for the same reason you said, James - it just feel good. Of course it feels better when I have an (engaged and active) keyholder, but I basically started this journey all by myself at first anyway. And I've "faltered" (not really, as I have nothing to fail when I self-lock).

What I would suggest, in your situation, if it feels good, is to lock back up as long as Lucy is OK with it - and just keep the keys to yourself so that you don't unnecessarily "bother" her when your own libido picks up. Unless she wants to be of course!

Ninja edit afterthought: or give her one key and keep one, with the message that "if you get in the mood, I'm still yours and you can have all the control, I'll keep one so that I don't have to ask you for it"