How to tell her not to stop the denial

[Beard]

Well, she's still working her way to recovery. It was actually a pretty bad cold. I pray she doesn't want to wait until next weekend to get frisky. She is usually pretty partial to them for sex.

[Beard]

Well, I finally told her. Well, sort of.

...I totally took the coward's way. I sent her an email with a very brief description and said I'd like to talk to her about going until Valentine's day as a test run, when she's all better. At least now the conversation is inevitable. She knows I have a hard time talking about anything remotely sexual, so it won't be a complete head-scratcher that I started things via email.

Now I'm just sweating balls, waiting for a text from her. She's probably just going to text something like, "Got your email" which'll just leave me even more nervous. When what she *should* text me is more alone the lines of, "Oh baby, I've always dreamed of this moment. You're balls belong to me, now. They shall ach eternally with unquenched desire!"

...okay, perhaps a bit over the top. But one way or another, I should at least know before the day is out. Please, send me all your good vibes!

[Chastityat61]

Try to remember this is your thing (your kink), your fantasy come to life.. maybe. Keep steady and know it may not be hers. My over excitement with it allowed for huge let down. Look over the previous posts..think it through and be ready for what ever answer comes.Good vibes to both!!

[Mr Pickle]

I too messed up first time around. Totally wrong approach. Keys thrown back st me.
I kept quiet, behaved, slowed down and eventually (last week) my wife offetrd to take the key.
Now. She isn't keen at all on my not wearing the cage. If it comes off it goes straight back on.
So. If it doesn't hit home. The seed is planted.
I dare not broach the topic of denial yet, even though I'm dying to.
Fingers crossed for you

[Beard]

Fuck yeah! YES YES YES! I am a mother fucking man in chastity. Ima need my membership badge right away. Someone teach me the secret handshake. LoL

Seriously though, there were a few minor conditions, really stuff she gets already. She even said that doing this 'makes sense' to her. Probably because she already doesn't let me masturbate. I get teases every weekend for now. My 'release' date has tentatively been set for Valentine's day. That'll make approximately two months in chastity for me since she agreed to try it leading up to my birthday. Not bad for a first go! Oh my gosh... I am on top of the damn world right now! No cage. Strictly the honor system. I didn't mention it and unless she brings it up, we'll probably never go that route. Which is fine with me.

I can't believe I have such an amazing wife. And she was all cool about it, like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, I swear, I was about to have a damn heart attack waiting to hear from her!

More updates to come!

[Beard]

So I was hoping that she'd give me a quick tease last night, since nothing happened this past weekend. But it seems I'm going to have to wait until this coming weekend for my first official chastity teasing. Goodness it's maddening having to wait!

I guess this thread should be moved to the blog section, as it has become just that.

[KittensBoyToy]

Congratulations on a huge leap forward. The secret handshake doesn't happen between us. It's when she decides to grab your cage through your clothes when you least expect it. It can happen anytime, anywhere....

[Beard]

Well, there is no cage for her to grab. ...Which the more I think about it, probably makes it much harder! (Literally and figuratively) Knowing that I could sneak off to some little hidey hole and give myself an O... It's hard not to consider. But I know that if I did, I would just be letting myself and her down.

[locked4her55]

No cage. Strictly the honor system. I didn't mention it and unless she brings it up, we'll probably never go that route. Which is fine with me.

You might just change your mind about this down the road.

Not having the ability to touch myself really sends me into a different mindset. My wife knows it and that's the reason I'm caged 95% of the time.

The teasing from her is exceptional both physically and mentally.

[Schnoff]

@Beard Retraining to not masturbate takes time and patience. What worked for us was making it into our daily routine: At bed time Bear will ask me how I did, and if I did not masturbate, praise me for it. I tell him I give myself to him, he tells me he shares himself with me. If I did masturbate, he'll ask me how that happened, remind me I'm not supposed to, and if warranted, we'll revisit this at the next opportunity to see what may need to change, if anything, to avoid that in future.

It's very simple, and it works. I now consider myself someone who doesn't masturbate - that's for other people. I am someone who is teased and denied and grateful for it. That shift in mindset takes some time and is very very powerful. 8 months and counting without orgasm - while the first few years were full of setbacks, we did get there eventually.

A "growth mindset" is essential for that retraining. "Failure mindset" will doom you. Google those terms if they're new to you.